Bittersweet
by Chibi Atomic Bomb
Summary: Sasuke has been secretly crushing on Gaara for years, and he intends to keep his crush that way: a secret. But an unexpected vacation just might change everything... if his pride and past don't hold him back. Not AU. GaaSasu, KankuKiba -STORY ON HOLD!-
1. The First Chapter

**(AN/ Hip hip hooray, I'm finally submitting my story out on ! Woohoo! Okay, I don't expect a lot of reviews, but reviews are very very nice… even if they're flames, I really don't care…)**

**Pairings: GaaSasu, KankuKiba, NaruSaku later**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Kishimoto-sensei… If you thought for one stinkin second that they belonged to me, you've been smoking too much crack…**

**Chapter One: The First Chapter**

**(Sasuke POV)**

I guess I never really understood people.

I didn't understand why Naruto forced me to go on a vacation with him and "the rest of the gang" (using his phrase) to some remote town in the middle of the coldest February I had ever been forced to live through. The again, I think this irritated me more than it surprised me. Naruto always did stupid things.

And Sakura… I don't even know where to begin with her. She and her closest friend, Ino, were always all over me, going on and on about me as if I had created the world and was perfect in every way. Heh, stupid girls. If only they knew.

But most of all, it seemed like the person I understood the least was myself, especially when it came to my feelings about _him._ I didn't understand why my heart beat painfully fats whenever he got close; why I tripped over my words whenever I talked to him; why whenever we touched or looked each other in the eye, I felt an electric jolt and dropped whatever I was carrying; why, when I tried so hard to stay distant, to not get these feelings for anyone, I had to fall for him, the one person I knew I couldn't have.

When we first met, this wasn't as much of a problem; it was a simple pre-teen crush, and I could always use the "bitter rivals" excuse to explain away my obsession with him. But after the war ended, he would always come to visit, and I would always make it my job to show him around (even if he already knew where everything was), just so that I could hear his voice, so that I could figure out more about him. We began to grow closer, and before I could see it coming and take control of it, my crush began to grow into something more…

It had been a year since I had returned from Otokagure, and I could never get him off of my mind. My dreams about him had grown so intense that I couldn't even look him in the eye without heat beginning to creep up onto my cheeks. I was at my breaking point; it was getting harder and harder to keep on my mask, and sometimes it would fall apart altogether. It didn't help the situation at all that Naruto had convinced him to come on this vacation with his brother while leaving his sister in charge of things back at his home. It didn't help either that Naruto had made us roommates. Roommates meant sharing a hotel room. Sharing a hotel room meant sharing a bedroom. Sharing a bedroom meant sleeping just feet away from him, so close that I could get up and touch his face while he slept…

I shook my head sharply. _Get those thoughts out of your head! You're being stupid!_

I curled my knees up closer to my chest and dug my fingernails into my shoulders as another cold wind ripped by. To postpone the unavoidable point of doom when I would have to interact with all of my "friends" and "enjoy this wonderful vacation" with them, I had stolen away as soon as I had placed my bags in my room and was hiding out on the roof. The downside to this was that within five minutes I was transformed into a human popsicle.

_You could just go inside, _a sensible part of me said, but I clenched my teeth and ignored it. Being painfully frozen was, at the least, preferable to making a fool of myself in front of him.

I looked around desperately for something to distract me from the weather and the blush-inducing thoughts forming in my head. Finding nothing on the barren piece of land I was facing to catch my interest, my eyes flicked upward. Stormy-grey clouds covered the sky, blocking most of the sunlight; even though it was the middle of the afternoon, it was so dark it could have been late evening. The air felt slightly damp, threatening that rain might soon be coming, just to complete my day. I glared up at the clouds, daring them to drip one speck of water on me.

"Having fun, Uchiha?"

My insides froze over, and not because of the cold. If it hadn't been for my pride, I would have thrown myself off the top of the hotel. Instead, I just peeked over my shoulder and tried to keep on a calm, indifferent face.

Of course, the moment I saw him my act fell to pieces. His messy blood-red hair blew around his pale face, giving him a perfect, windswept look. The corners of his mouth were turned up in the smallest of smiles, and his slanted, sea-green eyes were alight with something that looked like amusement. He was wearing baggy, charcoal-grey pants, the usual sandals, and- even though I was shaking under my jacket- a loose tank-top shirt that showed off his perfectly toned arms and just enough chest to make my mind go numb.

I mentally cursed. I couldn't believe I was gawking at the Kazekage. _Again._

"Hey Gaara," I said, before mentally cursing again. I'd meant for my voice to be casual, but it ended up coming out breathless, as if I was a sighing fan-boy instead of one of his closest friends.

Gaara's smile seemed to grow a tiny bit, but I could have been seeing things. He sat down beside me, sprawled in a slightly juvenile manner that showed his innocence. One sleeve of his shirt was hanging off his shoulder; my fingers itched to push it back into place.

"I thought I'd find you up here," he said softly, almost as if he was talking to himself. I didn't answer; my eyes were fixated to the hanging sleeve, and before I could stop myself I gently pushed it back into place. Gaara stiffened and threw me a questioning look. I avoided his eyes.

"Your sleeve was bothering me." For once, I was thankful for the cold; it felt good against my burning face.

"… I see." Gaara sighed and looked around at the oh-so-exciting scenery in front of us. "So… what are you doing on this wonderful afternoon, outside on the roof?"

I smirked at his sarcasm. "Nothing much." _Thinking of your soft lips pressed against mine as we confess our love, my fingers running through your soft hair as our bodies press closer together—_

"Nothing much, huh." He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, and I swallowed nervously. My throat was starting to get dry.

_--your fingers skimming under my shirt as you bite at my neck, marking me as yours. My head tips back and my breath comes out in a shuddering gasp—_

"You're being ridiculous, Uchiha," Gaara said suddenly, his tone almost businesslike. I dropped back to earth, just in time it seemed; I could almost feel a nosebleed coming on.

"Huh?"

"Look, I understand you wanting to be alone, but sitting on the roof where the wind is the worst, wearing only a flimsy jacket over your regular clothes…" He paused, looking frustrated. All I could do was wonder what he was getting at.

"I mean… aren't you cold?" he asked softly. I raised my eyebrows, taking in the Kazekage's tank-top (and I wasn't altogether displeased with what I was taking in).

"What about you?" I shot back, gesturing at said shirt. "And does it really matter if I'm cold or not? Not that I am," I added, my voice fierce.

Gaara looked down at his chest, and gave a small shrug. "The cold doesn't affect me as much as it does you, I guess."

I felt myself bristling slightly. _Is he…?_

"And of course it matters." Gaara fixed me with a serious look. "What would we do if you got sick?"

I shot to my feet, my hands clenching into fists. A monster seemed to have awakened inside my stomach, and it was spitting fires of anger that blocked out all sense and reason. "You bastard," I spat. "Are you calling me _weak?!_"

Gaara's eyes widened slightly. "No, I—"

"Are you challenging me?! Acting all high and mighty because you can handle the cold—I can take it, too!" I ripped my jacket off and threw it away from me in disgust. A second later Gaara was on his feet, a mere foot away from me.

"What do you think you're doing? What are you saying?" he yelled back, his shoulders shaking. "Stop being stupid!"

"Oh, so I'm being stupid now? First weak, then stupid, huh?! Well, not all of us can be up at your level, _Kazekage-sama._" I was in a blind rage, saying words that I wished I could catch and swallow back up, but the tide refused to stop. "Why did you come up here, Gaara? If you knew I wanted to be alone, then why did you fucking come up here?! To piss me off? Is that what you wanted? _Huh?!_"

An empty silence followed my rant. My chest heaved, and fire still burned in my veins as I tried to hold myself back from saying anything else. Gaara stood in front of me, trembling slightly, and his green eyes burned into mine. All of a sudden the fire or wrath was replaced with a burning shame. I'd hurt Gaara; I could see it in his eyes. What kind of person was I? What kind of person hurt the person they…

…loved? Was that what this was? Love…

"Uchiha, I…I came up here… because I wanted to make sure you were okay. I worry about you because… 'cause you're my closest friend, and I care about you, whether you like it or not."

With a last fiery look, Gaara turned and began walking toward the door leading back inside the main building. He was leaving, just like that, and I was left frozen in place, processing his words.

"I care about you…"

_He says that, but what does he mean? As a friend, or as… maybe… more? But he's still walking away, he's leaving me… God, because I pushed him away! Stupid, stupid!_

I watched his retreating back desperately, his figure blurring slightly as my eyes began to sting. _What do I do?_

"Gaara, wait!"

I began running forward, almost tripping over my own feet in the process. Gaara had just enough time to turn around, his expression hopeful, before I crashed into him. We stumbled and my arms wrapped around him, but he somehow caught us both, regaining his balance. His breathing sped up against my neck as I crushed him to me as much as possible. I was hungry for all of him, to feel his body pressed completely against mine. I wanted him to know how sorry I was.

"Sasuke…?" Gaara whispered, and I began to feel like we were acting out a scene from a bad romance novel. But when Gaara let out a tiny sigh and snaked his arms around my waist, none of that mattered anymore. His arms were wrapped tightly around me, his head was buried against my neck, his body was fitting perfectly against mine. Shock and pleasure rushed through my body, making my cheeks glow like never before. An unfamiliar warmth began spreading through my chest, making my skin prickle and my heart thud painfully against my ribs.

_What is this? It's so warm…_

I couldn't have told you how long we stood there; it could have been two minutes, it could have been two eternities, but every moment that passed made the heat in my chest grow until it got almost unbearable.

_Gaara… I love you…_

"Um, Sasuke…" Gaara mumbled against my shoulder. "You can let go now."

"Yeah, so can you."

Seconds passed. Neither of us made any move to release our hold on each other. My insides gave an uneasy squirm as Gaara gave me an off look.

"I-I'm just cold," I stammered out quickly. Gaara's body seemed to stiffen slightly, but I felt him nod against my shoulder.

An awkward silence spread between us. By the time another minute passed it felt like I was hugging a statue, and a second afterward Gaara squirmed out of my arms, suddenly looking uncomfortable. I couldn't blame him; if I had been him I would have been terrified it aloof, antisocial Uchiha Sasuke leapt up and hugged me out of the blue. It didn't stop my heart from sinking, though. For one bright, shining moment I had thought that maybe, just maybe…

A black cloth waved in front of my face, flapping in the wind like an overlarge bat. I jumped, and had to blink a few times before I recognized it as my jacket.

"Found it," Gaara said unnecessarily. "You know… you really shouldn't just throw your jacket away like that."

I snorted. "Yeah, yeah." I reached out to grab it, but my fingers barely brushed the sleeve before it was pulled out of reach.

"Hey-"I glared at him. "That's not funny, I—"

Gaara's pale arms curved around me and he slipped the jacket onto my shoulders. My cheeks flushed scarlet and the world around me seemed to turn on its axis as my arms were gently pushed into the sleeves. Gaara kept his head down the entire time, avoiding my eyes, but I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of him. His slender hands fumbled with the zipper, and I felt like screaming as my heart was stabbed repeatedly.

_Please stop, god-damn you! Let me go, stop doing this to me! Please, I'm begging you…_

"Gaara…" His name slipped past my lips before I could pull it back. He looked up, but it took me a while to realize this; his face was the same color as his hair. Our eyes locked, and I was drowning in their light green color; my breathing sped up in a vain attempt to replace lost oxygen. His fingers traced over my heaving chest, pulling the zipper torturously slow up to my neck. They rested longer than necessary against my skin, leaving cigarette burns where they made contact.

A shudder of either fear or pleasure- I couldn't tell which- rushed up my spine. Who would have thought that drowning could feel so unbelievably good…

"Well, isn't this a nice little Hallmark moment, eh Kankuro?"

My head turned so quickly toward the door that I could almost feel my neck snap. Standing there, wearing a black sweatshirt and a smug grin on his face, was Kiba, and everything about him had "trouble" in big, bold, neon letters written all over it.. Behind him stood Kankuro, Gaara's puppet-jockey of an older brother, and he looked like he was channeling the sky's mood onto his face.

_Oh, splendid._

Gaara's arms whipped away from me as if they had been burned; his face was still cherry red. "What are you two doing up here?" he asked, sounding irritated.

"You act like it's a capital crime to walk out onto the roof," Kankuro said in a bored voice, examining his fingernails. "But then again, if we were interrupting something kinky…"

I wanted to punch that stupid calm look off Kankuro's face. "We weren't doing anything," I growled, trying to inject my words with venom. "We were just… cold."

So much for the venom. I didn't even need to look at the two brunettes' faces to know that sounded lame. Kankuro's eyebrows were in danger of disappearing into his hair, and Kiba said in an obnoxious tone that I loathed, "Ah, the old 'we-were-just-warming-up' trick. Such a classic. But we're not here to criticize your pathetic attempts at making a move. Actually…" The dog nin pointed a finger dramatically at me, ignoring my and Gaara's sputters of indignation, "I was looking for you, Uchiha."

Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows. Kiba? Looking for me? Doesn't happen. "Why?"

"I just want to ask you something," he said, his voice too innocent to be convincing. "Oh, don't worry, I won't bite your head off or anything," he added, seeing my expression. "No," he said, looking thoughtful. "Your head's much too swollen for that to be possible. Dude, it's just a simple question, just come with me for a sec."

I was beginning to get a feeling in my stomach that was usually linked to Kakashi's cooking. "And what if I don't want to come with you?"

Kiba sighed and exchanged looks with Kankuro. "Help?"

"Certainly," the puppet-jockey replied, a sincere grin sliding onto his face. He twitched his index finger, and a second later my wrists were tied together with chakra strings and I was being dragged unceremoniously across the roof. Kankuro didn't attempt to be gentle; then again, I never got the feeling that he was very warm and fuzzy around me.

"Hey!" I yelled, struggling desperately, but it was no use. As soon as I was in range Kiba leapt forward and grabbed me in a headlock.

"Sorry, Uchiha, but I'm not letting you get away from me. I _really_ need to ask you something," Kiba said, a wicked smile crawling onto his face. A jolt of fear rushed through my body like an ice-cold river, and my spirits weren't lifted any when Kankuro said, opening the door with a flourish, "Don't be afraid to mark him, Kiba."

_Oh my God! _I clawed at Kiba's hands and yelled the first thing that popped into my head: "Gaara!! Help me!!"

Gaara, who had been watching events unfold with a slightly confused expression on his face, gave a start at my yell and fixed Kiba with a glare that made me shudder.

"Kiba, please release the Uchiha," he said in his most dangerous voice. "He obviously doesn't want you to do whatever you want to do with him."

"Exactly," I muttered, attempting to elbow the dog nin in the stomach.

Kiba gave a weary sigh from behind me. "Yeah…" he mumbled, sounding shaken, and I couldn't help but smirk. Victory was mine. Take _that, _you stupid—

"…right!!"

With a violent tug on my neck Kiba rushed through the door, laughing maniacally as I was slowly deprived of oxygen. I heard an angry shout, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Gaara dash forward, but he wasn't fast enough. The door made an ominous _thud _as it snapped close; it was shortly followed by another thud, as if a body had just smashed against that same door.

_Why…?!_

"You better cooperate, Uchiha," Kiba said happily, "'Cause I'm afraid if you don't, the consequences will be severe." And with yet another crazy laugh, he dragged me further down the hallway, away from the cold, away from Gaara, and into hell.


	2. Voices in my Head

**(AN: Second chapter… I'm trying to put everything I have up in one night… So yeah…)**

**Pairings: GaaSasu, KankuKiba, NaruSaku later**

**Disclaimer: You know, I should make a commercial jingle for "I Don't Own Naruto"… what do you think? To the tune of Clowns (Can You See Me Now)**

**Chapter Two: Voices in My Head**

**(Sasuke POV)**

I was finally released after what seemed like fifteen minutes of being cruelly dragged through every hallway in the hotel. I glanced around the small, abandoned corner we were in, searching for an escape route, but Kiba obviously had other plans. He pinned me against the wall and, grinning like a pedophile, got down to business.

"Spit it out, Uchiha. You're sweet on Gaara, aren't you?"

"I—don't—you—WHAT?!" I sputtered out, massaging my sore neck. A second later Kiba's words sank in, and I felt the evil, betraying burn creeping onto my face. I looked down and covered my face with my bangs in an attempt to hide it, but it was too late.

"A-ha! I knew it, I totally knew it!" Kiba crowed, pumping his fist triumphantly into the air. "I can't believe it, you, Uchiha, the King of Emo and Despair, are actually crushing on Gaara!"

"I- I have no idea what you're—" I protested, waving my arms desperately.

"Oh my God…" Kiba said quietly with a look of dawning wonder. "That means you're GAY!"

Gay?! Oh jeez, when he said it like that, it sounded so…

"Kiba, I'm not—"

"Don't give me that, Uchiha!" Kiba said sternly, wagging his finger in front of my face; I had a sudden urge to bite it off. "I'm not stupid."

"Well, there's a shock."

"Oh, ha ha. Say all the smart-ass remarks you can think of, but you aren't getting out of this one. So, you've got to tell me." He leaned forward eagerly, almost trembling with excitement. "How long have you crushed on him?"

"Seriously, Kiba, come on—"

"How long?"

The dog nin's slanted eyes pierced into my brain (so it seemed), and I knew he wouldn't let me escape until he got what he wanted. All of my excuses and retorts melted away, leaving me stranded, looking desperately for something to cling onto to keep me afloat. I swallowed nervously and looked at anything but Kiba's face.

"Four years," I whispered, my face scarlet.

Silence. I almost wished that Kiba would start bothering me again or, even better, punch me in the face and knock me out cold. Anything to escape from this vulnerable feeling. People said confessions made you feel light-hearted, but at that moment I was being crushed by the world.

"Four… years?" he repeated in disbelief. 'Well, duh, that's what I just said, wasn't it?' I thought bitterly, my eyes glued to my shoes as if I had never seen anything like them before.

"Are you SHITTING WITH ME?!" Kiba practically screamed in my ear, making me jump. "So you've liked him this entire time- oh my God- should've cornered you sooner- this is horrible—"

"Uh…" I was losing track of what he was saying. What exactly was horrible?

"This is a DISASTER!!" he yelled, and he started to pace around furiously.

"What's a disaster?"

"All of this!" Gee, that was helpful. "This whole mess has gone on far too long, and we are going to fix it, right now!"

I could only stare blankly at him. Kiba had his hands on his hips and was glaring at me with a determined look on his face. "What are you going on about?" I asked cautiously.

Kiba rolled his eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Look, Uchiha, I wanted to talk to you because Naruto is throwing a party in his room tomorrow night. A Valentine's Day party. You get what I'm saying?"

So the day of evil had arrived already? It had to happen NOW? Of course it did; this kind of thing always happened in bad romantic comedies, and that's what this seemed to be playing out as. But without the comedy. Or the satisfaction of knowing for sure that I would end up with the love of my life.

"You already know I'm not into that crap," I growled.

"Well, starting tomorrow, you WILL be into that crap, because you WILL-" Kiba poked me roughly in the chest to make his point- "go, and you WILL-" another poke- "tell Gaara how you feel about him."

I felt the blood drain slowly from my face.

"No," I said flatly.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"No," I repeated. "I'm not telling him."

"Why not?" he asked obnoxiously. "It's the perfect time to, just drag him into the bedroom and-"

"No!" I yelled, blushing fiercely yet again. "I can't do that, I-" My mouth snapped close. _I'd rather live my whole life without telling Gaara I love him. I'd rather keep him as my friend than drive him away._

Kiba sighed and rubbed his temples, as if he was the one with big problems. "Uchiha, just how much longer do you think you can hold love in? Anyone with working eyes and half a brain would be able to tell that you're head-over-heels for him if they had seen you on the roof just now. Believe me, it will only get harder to hide as time goes on." He leaned forward and dropped his voice to a whisper. "You feel like you're going to explode, don't you? Every time he lightly touches you it's never enough, because you won't be satisfied until you're in his arms-"

"Shut up." My fingernails dug into my trembling arms. Acid burned holes in my stomach. What did Kiba know about me? What did Kiba know about anything?! He didn't understand a single thing about me.

"Maybe what your problem is…" He threw me a look that was almost disgusted. "…That you're afraid of rejection."

My insides froze over. "I said shut up."

"I almost can't believe it," Kiba sneered, deaf to my voice. "The so-called great Uchiha… a COWARD."

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!" My fist lashed out and smashed perfectly into his left cheek. I watched him stagger and spit out blood with a sense of cold pleasure. I wanted to punch him again and again and again until he took back his own words, until he stopped pretending that he understood how I felt, until my knuckles were raw and bleeding or I couldn't lift my arm anymore.

"What the hell-?" he started, sounding shocked and angry.

"No, stop talking! Stop talking about me as if I'm an open book, you, you of all people! You don't get it, you think everything in life comes easy, don't you?! Well, in case you've forgotten, this is MY life, not yours, and in my life I can't keep anything as good as Gaara. I can't…"

To my horror, my eyes were beginning to burn. Without a second thought I dodged around Kiba and darted off down the slowly blurring hallway. I shook my head furiously and hurried on.

Whatever else happened, I refused to let Kiba see me cry.

--

(Kiba POV)

"What an over-dramatic."

I grinned as I watched his form disappear around the corner, wincing as my cheek gave a sharp throb. Damn, that bastard really wanted to cause me pain, and he probably would have caused me more if he wasn't afraid of looking even more childish.

Still, I thought, it was worth it. I sighed, brushed imaginary dirt off my sweatshirt, and headed off to bother some other innocent soul.

"Heh, that idiot," I laughed, relishing the pain that action caused. "Now he's gonna tell Gaara for sure. The plan goes into action!"

--

(Sasuke POV)

The door made a loud bang as it snapped close, but the noise sounded faded and distant, as if it was reaching me through a fog. My back was glued to the door, my fingers clutching at the wood like a lifeline. I was going to be sick. No, I wasn't going to be sick, I was sick. I'd yelled at Gaara and punched Kiba in the face, all in one day. On top of that, I couldn't get Kiba's stupid-ass voice out of my head.

_Coward… coward… coward…_

"Sasuke?"

My eyes opened slightly, and my legs immediately turned to mush.

Gaara scrutinized my face with concern. "Are you alright?"

If I'd had a choice, I would have told him I was fine and walked coolly past him, maybe even shooting a smart remark over my shoulder. Unfortunately, my Jell-O legs refused to even wobble in the right direction. I took one tentative step forward and tripped over thin air.

I should have known better, but my instincts took over. My arms whipped out and wrapped around the nearest source of support: Gaara. At the same time his hands latched onto my sides, preventing me from slipping. My breath hitched. Why had he tried to catch me? And why was I in this situation all over again?

I looked up slightly and received a shock. My head was pressed against Gaara's chest, forcing me to look up at him. I'd never seen him this way before; if anything, he was the one always looking up at me. I couldn't figure out why this was such a big deal, but the world around me was spinning and my heart was racing and my blood seemed to be pounding in my ears. I stiffened. No, that wasn't my blood pounding, it was Gaara's heart. His heart…

Gaara gently pushed me away and stood me upright, keeping a hand on my shoulder in case Uber-Klutz decided to have a seizure next or something. I breathed in a shaky breath. My brain seemed to be working again, but all I could think about was how nice it felt to have Gaara's heart beat against my ear.

"Are you alright?" Gaara asked again.

All I could do was nod. Damn, why did the Kazekage have to be so perfect?

"Are you sure?"

Nod.

"Kiba didn't hurt you or anything?"

_Oh no, it's alright, he only stabbed a gaping hole in my pride._ I shook my head. "As if. That loser couldn't hurt me if he tried."

Gaara nodded slowly, his piercing green eyes never leaving mine. I swallowed and quickly looked at the wall; things were getting awkward again.

Gaara let out a long sigh, and without warning began tugging on my shoulder.

"What?"

"Come with me. I want you to try something." Gaara's face turned a light shade of pink as he said it, and it made me wonder what on earth he was dragging me off to do. I trailed behind him as he walked the length of the hallway, thinking fast. Maybe…

—_Gaara shoved me against the wall, his breathing quickening as he nipped at my ear and whispered the words I'd always longed to hear. "Sasuke, I love—"_

"Sasuke!"

My head jerked slightly as I snapped back to reality. I blinked and looked around. I was in the hotel room kitchen, or the dinky thing they tried to pass off as a kitchen. A mini-kitchen. Whatever.

Gaara was pulling a small cup off a shelf and began messing with something on the stove. Curiosity ended up getting the better of me. I tried to peek over his shoulder, but he waved me away irritably. "Sit down, Uchiha."

Scowling slightly, I went to the table and sat down, Uchiha, wondering what else I was going to be forced through. Gaara didn't keep me waiting. A moment later a cup of steaming SOMETHING was set in front of me. My eyebrows raised as I examined the cup closely.

"Uh… poison?" I guessed.

Gaara rolled his eyes. "More like tea."

"Really?" Whoa, Gaara could make tea? How come I'd never known about this?

"Look, can you…" Gaara fiddled with his fingernails, his face growing an even deeper red. "Can you just try it? This is only the second time I've made this, so…"

Ah, what could I do now? I wasn't that much of a tea person, but Gaara looked so nervous, and there was no way I could refuse him when he looked like that. I picked up the cup and took a tiny sip. It wasn't bad. Not at all, actually. The flavor was spicy instead of sweet, with just a hint of bitterness. I'd never tasted anything quite like it.

"Hey…" Gaara's head snapped up, and he looked so anxious that I had to smile, just a little bit. "Don't be so nervous. This is really good!"

"Really?" God, I loved it when Gaara smiled.

"Yeah." I took a larger swallow, just to prove that I wasn't lying. "See? It's good! What kind of tea is it, anyway?"

"Um… cinnamon," Gaara mumbled to the floor. Was he really that embarrassed? "Kankuro taught me how to make it… but you better not tell him I told you that," he added sharply, giving me astern look.

"What will Kankuro do, send his doll army after me?" I said, snorting, but Gaara gave me a look that quickly changed my view on things. "Okay, I swear," I said, even adding a small bow of my head. Gaara turned away to pour himself a cup of tea, but I was positive I saw a smirk flash across his face.

For a few minutes there was silence. Gaara sat across from me, sipping his tea, his arm resting inches from mine. It was amazing how much self control it took to keep myself from stroking him. There was no way I could have stopped myself from glancing repeatedly at him when I thought he wasn't looking. I slowly drank the last of my tea, savoring the taste, memorizing it, wondering if it was what Gaara tasted like.

_-it's never enough, because you won't be satisfied until you're in his arms-_

My fingers twitched. Why was Kiba's voice invading my mind again?

_-afraid of rejection-_

_-how long do you think you can hold love in?_

I gazed at Gaara, who was completely oblivious to the unstable time bomb beside him, ready to explode at any second.

--

Not surprisingly, I couldn't sleep that night.

The clock by the bed read 2:41 am, but my eyelids weren't even beginning to feel heavy. I was itching to pace around the room or throw a few punches or something energy-consuming and mind-consuming.

I groaned and rolled over, my eyes fixing on the form in the neighboring bed. The stress-lines that Gaara usually wore on his face were gone and his eyes were closed peacefully, his chest rising and falling in time with his soft breathing. He didn't look like a Kazekage. He looked like an innocent boy, a boy that deserved much more than what life had given him. He was fragile, yet somehow untouchable. He was scarred, yet he was beautiful. Flawed, but somehow painfully perfect.

The bedsprings gave a soft creak as I slipped off the bed. I kneeled next to Gaara and just watched, my mind jotting down every little change. I didn't know why I was doing this, why I watched him like this if all it did was cause me pain. But did I know anything anymore?

My hand reached out toward him longingly. The tips of my fingers tingled as they skimmed up his chest, ghosted over his shoulders before running down his arms. His skin was surprisingly soft for someone that lived in the desert; it was as if a satin sheet had been draped over his body instead of normal skin. I wished I was allowed to trace his body like this, with him awake and him wanting me to.

"Gaara…" No response. Had I been expecting one? Gaara was fast asleep; I could say anything I wanted, and he wouldn't hear me. I took a long, shuddering breath.

"I… I wish things were like they used to be. Do you remember? After the war, before I so stupidly ran off to join Orochimaru… I could actually talk to you then. You, me, and Naruto… we were like brothers, weren't we? I mean real brothers, not the kind that kill off your entire clan…" I gave a soft laugh. "Now look at me, Gaara. The only time I can open up is when you're asleep. Why can't I talk to you anymore? Ever since I came crawling back to Konoha, we've grown closer again. You were the only person that welcomed me back with open arms, no questions asked. And yet, despite everything we've been through, I feel like I'm running away again, running from something I'll never be able to escape… Gaara, I know we fight, but the crazy truth is I've always thought of you as more than just a close friend, so much more…"

Warm rivers began carving down my cheeks. Oh God, why did I have to start crying?

"I-I feel like the most selfish person in the world. I refuse to let you go, I refuse to stop thinking of you like this. Even if you are… like me… why would you ever want a guy like me? It's an impossible situation, but I can't stand to let you go because I-I… Gaara, I'm so lonely…"

My muscles lost their strength. I fell to the ground and let the sobs choke out, like the pathetic, stupid, queer fool that I was.

Who was I kidding? Kiba was right about everything, and I was too bigheaded to let myself see it sooner. This had gone on far too long.

I didn't want to be alone anymore.


	3. Seven Minutes in Purgatory

**(AN: Zzzzz… -snore- Eh, lol wut? Sorry, this is all so boring for me, cause I already have this all out on my dA account… -snore- Yeah. Reviews are luff.)**

**Pairings: GaaSasu, KankuKiba, NaruSaku later**

**Disclaimer: … yes, Naruto is mine. And my name is Masashi Kishimoto. Ans I am JAPANESE MAN. Yeah.**

Chapter Three: Seven Minutes in Purgatory

(Sasuke POV)

I couldn't believe I was actually going to do this.

From the moment I had gotten out of bed, I'd been doing my best to avoid both Gaara and Kiba. After my mental breakdown the previous night, I couldn't hardly look at either of them. From the little time I did spend with Gaara I could tell he knew something was up, but I tried not to give him enough time to ask questions before I ran off. He would find out everything soon enough.

But now that "soon enough" was right around the corner, I was frozen stiff. Whatever music was playing in Naruto's room was turned up so loud that the floor trembled, threatening to cause a minor earthquake. My hand was latched onto the door handle, but I couldn't make my hand do the simple movement that would make the door open.

"Come on," I hissed. "Don't be such a coward."

My hand did nothing but tremble slightly. I glared at it dangerously.

It wasn't just the upcoming confession that held me back. As a rule, I never went to any of Naruto's parties. Hell, I didn't go to parties, period. I saw no joy in being crushed in a room with a dozen other teenagers moving in ways that should be illegal. And on Valentine's Day, of all the days in the world…

I shook my hand angrily. _Gaara's in there. You need to talk to Gaara, and you certainly won't be able to do that just by standing here._

I took a deep breath, braced myself, and opened the door.

Almost immediately after I stepped inside, I wished that I had just turned around and run back to my room. The rock music blaring out of the tiny radio (size has nothing to do with power, I guess) was trying its hardest to make my ears bleed. The room was filled with everyone from the rookie 9 and Team Gai; people that I had known since childhood, people that had always annoyed the living shit out of me. By the looks on a few on their faces, there was alcohol present.

How exactly was this supposed to be FUN?

"Hey Uchiha!" Kiba, I swear, materialized out of thin air next to me, holding a bottle of (God save us) beer. "You turned up after all! I knew your heart wasn't completely made of stone!"

My stomach did an uncomfortable lurch. The last time I'd been face-to-face with Kiba, I'd punched him in the face. What was I supposed to do now?

"Hey, no worries about yesterday," Kiba said seriously, almost as if he had read my mind. "I was just trying to get your ass down here tonight. You ARE going to tell him, aren't you?" he added, giving me a piercing glance.

I felt a faint blush. "Drop it," I mumbled, digging my nails into my arm.

Kiba's eyes narrowed, but for once he didn't open his big mouth. Instead he settled for taking a large gulp of beer. I eyed the bottle warily.

"Aren't you underage?" I asked, gesturing at said bottle.

"Yup!" he said happily, taking another chug just to spite me. "But don't worry, I can hold my liquor; never fear."

"I'll take your word for it," I said sarcastically, backing away and searching desperately in my mind for an excuse to get away. This proved unnecessary; Kiba looked to his left, cried out "Heeey, Kankuro!" and ran off, grinning wildly.

I would have let out a sigh of relief, but a new wave of fear was washing over me. Kiba was off my back, but now I had no protection from—

"Sasuke-kun! You're here!"

Shit. SHIT.

Sakura ran up to me, grinning and blushing, and I wished that I could turn invisible. "Come dance with me, Sasuke!" she pleaded, puppy-dog pouting as she reached out to try and grab my hand.

"No thanks," I said, snatching my hand back to a safe distance. I began to turn my back on her disappointed face, but before I could even begin to search for Gaara I bumped into someone else.

That someone gasped when they saw me and clutched at my upper arm. "Sasuke-kun, what a surprise!" Ino squealed, and my insides seemed to die. "Aw, did you come to see me? Am I your Valentine?"

"Back off, you little—" Sakura stomped up angrily, and I almost saw steam burst out of her nostrils. "Of course he hasn't come to see you, get your hands off of him!"

Thankfully Ino released my arm, instead turning toward Sakura; they looked ready to slap each other. Usually I would have been mildly interested, but I was frozen stiff. Every year I had to deal with this crap, but today… not today…

"Sasuke!" Ino snapped, her gaze jerking back onto me. I felt my eye automatically twitch. "Which one of us is your Valentine? It's me, isn't it?"

"Oh, shut your mouth, you think you have every man wrapped around your little finger, don't you?" Sakura snarled, and they went back to shooting lasers at each other from their eyes.

"We were on the same team!"

"I've got the right kind of looks, Ms. Billboard Brow!"

"And the wrong kind of attitude, Sasuke-kun doesn't want a slut!"

I shook my head numbly, trying to control my rising panic. _Get away from me, you don't get it, I'm not like that! I'm in love with Gaara, not you, not any of you, only Gaara…_

_Gaara…_

A small, warm hand slipped into one of mine, and I instinctively tensed. It was yet another tormenter, I was sure of it. But just as I was about to lose it, a familiar, quiet voice whispered in my ear.

"Follow me."

I obeyed without question. I clung to Gaara's hand as if my life depended on it; he squeezed my hand back, as if to reassure me that he was still there, that he would always be there. I almost let out a sob. Always be there? I wished… The small crowd pushed in from all sides but Gaara managed to pull me through, his grip tightening until my fingers were in danger of turning blue and falling off.

We escaped to a deserted corner of the room, where Gaara pulled up a chair and sat me down in it. "Breathe," he ordered.

It took me a second to realize my breath was coming in short, rapid gasps. I closed my eyes and forced my breathing to slow, focusing on the hand clutching mine so tightly.

"Sasuke…" I opened my eyes. Gaara's face was filled with concern. "Are you sick?"

"N-no, no, I- I'm just a- well—" I was choking on my words; I couldn't get out a full, coherent sentence. Gaara was here, right in front of me. Did I tell him NOW?! But I wasn't ready, I—

Gaara released my hand and stood up straight. "I'll go get some medicine, I have some back in the room—"

"No!" I lunged forward and grabbed onto his shirt. "Don't leave. Please, don't leave…"

Gaara gave me a look, like now he was really sure that I had something wrong with me. "Uchiha, if you're not feeling well—"

"I am, I'm fine!" I insisted, my voice sounding pathetically high. "I'm just not crazy about crowds, and when Sakura and Ino are fighting over me like that…"

"Ah…" Gaara nodded in understanding. He reached out and pulled another chair toward us and sat in front of me. He managed to detach my hands from his shirt, but he didn't let them go. A strange tingle ran up my arms and down my sides. Why didn't he let me go?

"Why don't you just tell those two that you do not think of them that way?"

I heaved a heavy sigh. "I've tried, I really have, but it's like…" I made a whistling noise. "In one ear and out the other."

Gaara smiled softly, and I felt my heart melt.

"Well. I'm actually surprised to see you here at all. I'm here because Kiba forced me to come, but you…" He gave my hands a small squeeze. "I've never gotten the impression that you're a party person."

"Yeah, well…" Great, now we were back to WHY I was at the party to begin with. I fought down the emerging blush. "Crazy things happen."

Gaara nodded slowly again, his piercing green eyes latched onto mine. I couldn't tell what the look in his eyes meant, but maybe it was because I was afraid to examine it too closely.

_Crazy things happen._ God, even my own words were coming back to haunt me.

I had to break the stare; if I looked into those beautiful eyes for a moment longer, who knows what I might have done. My eyes flicked instead to the side, and my stomach seemed to fall through a trap door.

On the other side of the room, Kiba had Kankuro sprawled beneath him on the couch, and, even though it was difficult to see through the moving mass of bodies, any retard could tell that they were hard-core making out. Even from where I sat, there was visible tongue. I watched, almost fascinated, as Kiba's mouth moved to Kankuro's neck and began biting gently, his tongue laving attention over the bitten area. Kankuro's mouth opened in what was obviously a shuddering moan.

My stomach had returned, but it was filled with burning acid.

I wanted to be on that couch, with Gaara. I wanted Gaara to touch me like that, to bite me like that, to kiss me like that. I wanted Gaara to love me like that.

Gaara followed my gaze, and his brow furrowed. "What the- Oh no, not in public—" He leapt up, quickly releasing my hands.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, I've got to… er… have a talk with my brother about the CORRECT way to act in public—"

"Sasukeeee! Where are you?"

Sakura's voice magically wafted to us over the music, sending fear down my spine. I automatically grabbed onto Gaara's hand, silently begging him to help me somehow. Gaara looked down at me, then over at Kankuro, then over to where Sakura was seen pushing through the moshpit, back to me, back to Kankuro. His eyes narrowed as he made a decision.

"Come on, Uchiha," he mumbled, tugging me to my feet. "Let's go somewhere else."

I nodded, relieved, and followed him again. I was so focused on the warmth of Gaara's hand and the fact that I was chosen over Kankuro, that I didn't pay attention to where we were going until Gaara closed a door and my eyes fell on the bed.

The bedroom. We were in the bedroom.

Oh.

My.

God.

_--It's the perfect time to, just drag him into the bedroom and—_

God dammit!

My head snapped toward Gaara, and I felt more embarrassed than ever; he hadn't even noticed what room we were in. He wasn't blushing, he didn't have "that look" in his eyes, he didn't give off any signs that said he was planning something a little less-than-innocent. Gaara just let out a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the bad, rubbing his temples.

_Of course he's not acting weird. Gaara doesn't think of me like that._

"Thank God, I feel better in here," Gaara sighed, laying back and stretching. Well, at least one of us felt comfortable in the bedroom. "There were so many people crammed into one room. I felt like I couldn't move or I might rub against someone the wrong way. And that music… I really hope you weren't paying attention to the lyrics. Naruto should be ashamed."

I watched him talk, his arms stretched over his head as if he was trying to make himself as tall as possible. He was wearing a baggy, maroon sweatshirt that concealed his small frame, but he looked no less attractive than yesterday, when he wore the wondrous tank-top. A large, jagged lump seemed to rise in my throat.

_Gaara, I'm so sorry… Please, forgive me…_

"I'm sure that you're glad to be out of there too," Gaara continued. "I saw you looking at Kankuro and Kiba. They make me so irritated sometimes, when they start kissing and doing other things without a single thought to any-anyone… else…"

His voice shuddered and died. The reason why was apparent; I'd crawled onto the bed and lay down beside him, my head pillowed on his shoulder. I felt his breath hitch at the contact. "Sasuke, you—"

"Don't talk…" My arms snaked around Gaara's body and pulled him closer. After a moment of hesitation, Gaara's arms wrapped around me as well, but there was stiffness in his motions.

"Sasuke… I don't…" Gaara groaned and gripped the back of my shirt tightly. "I don't understand you."

My eyes narrowed. This was going to be hard enough without this crap. "I said don't talk."

"I will talk." Gaara shoved me in the chest and sat bolt upright. The furious fire in his eyes terrified me. "Uchiha, all day you've avoided me, you've ignored me, and now you're-you're- what ARE you doing? Why are you… holding me like this…"

His cheeks flushed crimson and he turned away to glare at the wall.

Something in my chest snapped in half; I could almost hear the sound of my heart breaking. As the pain coursed through my body, setting every nerve on fire, I knew I had to say it now.

"What if I'm holding you… because I never want to let you go?"

Gaara's eyes widened to an almost abnormal size. "W-what did you say?" he breathed, turning back to face me. I swallowed down my fear and plunged recklessly ahead.

"What if I never want to let you go?" I sat up so that our eyes were level; I grabbed his shoulders tightly, to keep either him or me from running, I couldn't tell. "What if I want to hold onto you for the rest of eternity, until the stars fall from the sky and the world catches on fire and crashed down around us? What if I want to hold you until death itself pries you from my arms? What would you say if I wanted all of those things?"

Gaara did nothing but stare at me, his mouth opened slightly in shock. He looked like he wanted to say so much, but he couldn't put the words together correctly.

"Sasuke, please…" he forced out, running a hand through his scarlet hair. "Please don't… If you're not serious… Don't joke with me like this…"

His shoulders were trembling under my hands, but it was nothing compared to the way I was shaking. My insides were dying, my heart was dying. He thought I was… joking… No, no, this was all wrong… I could feel what was left of my heart crumbling into dust as I realized it was too late to stop.

I leaned closer to him until I could feel his rapid breath on my lips, and I heard myself, as if from a distance, utter the words that I had never uttered before, that finally put an end to the four year-long play I had been performing.

"Gaara… I love you…"

I pressed my lips to his, and the curtain closed for good.


	4. This is the Best Day Ever

**(AN: Fourth chappie? Hmm, I don't usually do Gaara POV… for some reason, Sasuke is just easier to write. Maybe it's because his character allows more sarcasm…? I dunno. Anyways. Reviews are luff.)**

**Pairings: GaaSasu, KankuKiba, NaruSaku later**

**Disclaimer: Do you own Naruto? Wow, you don't either? Go. Figure. That is sooo amazing… I mean, I was sooo sure that an American fnfiction writer really owned Naruto…**

**Chapter Four: This Is the Best Day Ever**

**(Gaara POV)**

For the past four years, Sasuke and I had a questionable relationship. For the first month that we had known each other, it seemed like our soul purpose in life was to crack each other's skulls open. After that, when we actually had a friendship between us, we always argues. All the time. Too much. Then, when things were getting better, when we finally began to truly understand each other, he had left… he had run away…

Through it all, I'd always loved him. I can't even count the number of times I woke up from dreams about him; dreams about him pressing his lips to mine, holding me, even just telling me he felt the same way I did. But they were dreams, and nothing more. I had no hope of being in a real relationship with him, and that hope dwindled ever more with every argument.

So how could this have happened to me?

Sasuke's arms slipped around my shoulders and pulled me closer, his warm lips still softly covering mine. I was stunned, my mind still floating about a minute in the past.

_Gaara… I love you…_

And now he was…

Was this a dream?

My right hand reached up and threaded into Sasuke's raven-colored hair, feeling the softness under my fingertips. It was too real. I closed my eyes to hold back the tears threatening to leak out. This wasn't a dream, it wasn't a fantasy. Sasuke was really here with me. These were his arms, his hair, his lips….

I didn't have time to think anymore. There was only one reasonable thing to do.

I kissed him back.

Before now I'd had no kissing experience whatsoever, but with Sasuke it seemed so easy to open my mouth, to push forward a tiny bit, to probe at his lips with my tongue. He let out a small gasp, his mouth cracking open, and that's all it took for the shyness to fly out the window. No more holding back.

Sasuke gripped my shoulders and slowly lowered me down flat on the bed, his mouth never leaving mine. I clung to his trembling body, arching against him as my back was pressed against the mattress. My heart was thudding so hard… My ribs were sure to break if this didn't stop, but I prayed desperately that it never would.

Sasuke's left hand wandered up to my cheek as his tongue pushed into my mouth and began rubbing against my own. I let out a soft moan, tightening my grip on his hair. _God, don't let his lips stop moving, don't let his tongue stop stroking mine, don't stop, Sasuke, Sasuke—_

My left hand moved to scratch down his back while my tongue pushed against his, fighting for dominance on some level. My hand roamed desperately over his body, trying but unable to take in enough, and I could tell by the burning streaks rushing across my body that he was doing the same. I couldn't breathe, but I needed more; I couldn't pull away, not now, not ever.

_Sasu… ke…_

But a second later Sasuke's lips ripped away from mine. I sat straight up, my mind in a daze, and automatically looked towards the door. Had Sakura or Ino walked in on us? I glanced around quickly. No, it was only me and Sasuke. So what was going on? I looked at Sasuke, and went completely still.

He was crouched on the foot of the bed, his eyes fixed on me and his fingers touching his lips. Two trails of tears leaked down his cheeks, pouring from onyx eyes that were filled with pure horror.

"Sasuke…?" I crawled forward and reached out to touch his cheek. "Sasuke, what's wrong?"

Sasuke breathed in sharply and flinched away from my hand. "Gaara, I-I—"

He leapt off the bed, pulling at his shirt. "I-I'm so sorry, I-I-I shouldn't have done that— so, so stupid—"

"What?" What was stupid? Why shouldn't he have kissed me? I wanted him to kiss me. I still wanted it.

"I…" Sasuke turned his back and hurried to the door. "I've got to go. S-see you later."

"What?!" I leapt off the bed and started forward, my heart now pounding out of fear instead of passion. "Sasuke, wait, what are you talking about? Please, don't leave, don't—"

He couldn't even look back at me. The door slammed, and he was gone. He'd left me here, staring numbly at the door, wondering how on earth this could have happened when everything had been going so right.

My fingernails dug into my chest above my cracking heart. _Why…? Sasuke, did you… did you lie? Were you just messing around with me? Was this all a game?! This entire time, have I just been someone to mess with because I was an easy target?! But…_ I thought of the way he had kissed me. _… That doesn't fit… Something's not right here… Sasuke wouldn't, he wouldn't—_

The bedroom door slammed open. My head snapped up hopefully, but a moment later my heart sank; Kiba stood in the doorway, breathing heavily as if he had just run three marathons straight.

"Kiba…?"

"Oh my God, what happened?!" Kiba rushed forward, grabbed my shoulders, and shook me roughly. "What the hell did you do?!"

"What did… I do…?" I asked blankly.

"Don't play innocent with me—SHIT!! How could this have happened? I thought everything would be perfect—it was YOU!!" He stepped back and pointed at my face. "You are the weakest link!"

My patience was wearing thin. I needed to find Sasuke as soon as possible; I didn't have time for Kiba's games today. "Inuzuka, get out of the way or I—"

"Don't 'Inuzuka' me, Gaara!" He pokes my hard in the chest; he looked as angry and confused as I felt. "What the bloody HELL!! I look over and I see Sasuke running out of the room with the waterworks going—you PRICK!! I thought you loved him! You DO know that he's in love with you, right?"

My breath hitched. "So… so he does love me?"

"Um, DUH. What, did you think he was lying? Don't tell me you rejected him because of—"

"I didn't reject him!" I yelled, actually stomping my foot in frustration. "I don't know what happened, first he told me h-he loved me… and then we were- we were…"

"Making out?" Kiba asked, perking up.

"Uh… yeah, that. But then he suddenly pulled away, saying what he did was stupid and that he was sorry, and he ran out of the room."

Kiba's mouth dropped open a few inches. He ran his fingers through his messy hair, obviously thinking hard. I waited, hoping he would give me advice of some kind; he had much more experience in these kinds of situations than I did.

"Dude…" he said quietly, looking seriously up at me, "… you need to find him."

I finally snapped. "That's what I've been trying to do, but you got in the way!! For the love of—" I shoved him out of the way and ran back into the crowded room.

"Hey Gaara!" Ino called to me, waving frantically. "Whoa, were you in the bedroom with KIBA--?"

I ignored her and hurried on. Sasuke was the only thing on my mind; no one and nothing else mattered.

_Where could he have gone? _I'd made it all the way to just outside Naruto's door, and now I was stuck, looking around stupidly in all directions. _Our room, the restrooms, the lobby-_

_-the roof._

Without a second thought, my hands flipped into the correct signs. Sand swirled around my body, and when my vision cleared a second later I was on the roof of the hotel.

"I… can't… take this… anymore…"

I turned around. A dark shape was hunched on the ground, shaking violently. A pale forearm was exposed, wrist up, and above it hovered a kunai, glinting sinisterly in the moonlight.

My heart stopped beating.

"No—SASUKE!!"

Sasuke whipped around to face me, but he didn't have time to do much else. Sand hurtled through the air, throwing him flat on his back and pinning his hands above his head. I crouched over him, breathing hard, and yanked the kunai out of his grasp.

"What's wrong with you?!" I yelled, waving the knife in his face. "What are you thinking?!"

Sasuke tugged desperately at his restraints; the look in his eyes was wild. "Let me go, Gaara! Let me GO!!"

"No! Not if you're going to- going to—" My teeth dug into my bottom lip. I couldn't even say it.

"Gaara, please! Just- just leave me alone! This is none of your business!"

"Like hell it isn't." I grabbed his shoulders and gave him a hard shake. "What are you thinking? Why are you doing this?"

"Because I-I-I want to die!"

SMACK!!

The sound echoed throughout the otherwise silent air. My fist was still raised, the skin around the knuckles raw. The insane light in Sasuke's eyes slowly drained away; he looked up at me, his left cheek glowing red, and he looked completely lost and afraid.

"Don't… EVER… say that again," I hissed, my voice trembling. Sasuke's onyx eyes swam with tears.

"Gaara… I'm… I… ah-"

Sasuke's body went completely limp as he sobbed brokenly, each sound rending a hole in my heart. The sand slowly slid from his wrists; I lifted him upright and cradled him to my chest, my fingers softly stroking his scalp. His pain seemed to physically cut through me like a knife; I closed my burning eyes and pressed my lips to his hair, sending a silent prayer to anyone out there to take all of his troubles away.

"I'm s-s-so sorry," Sasuke sobbed into my shirt. "I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry, I-I'm sorr—"

"Shhh…" I swiped my thumbs under his eyes, and they came back drenched. "You don't have to apologize to me…"

"Y-yes I do," Sasuke mumbled, his body wracked with more shudders as he struggled to hold back the sobs. "I'm sorry f-for everything I've done, for being stupid, for t-trying to kill m-myself, for m-making you think you had to k-kiss me back, for—"

"Hold on." I pushed him back slightly and looked him in the eye. "What was the last thing you just said?"

"I…" Sasuke pulled his bangs over his face, just like he always did when he was embarrassed. "I shouldn't have told you I l-loved you, and I shouldn't have kissed you… I think I pressured you into thinking that you had to kiss me back."

I stared in disbelief.

"You… are the BIGGEST IDIOT I have ever met."

Sasuke's cheeks flushed; his eyes were tearful again.

"So that's what this was about. You assumed that I… You didn't even let me say anything, you just ran off and… you assumed… Why would you kill yourself over an assumption?!" I finally burst out.

Sasuke blinked, his face blank. "An… assumption?" he asked, as if he had never heard the word before.

"Yes, an ASSUMPTION!! You just automatically decided that I only felt sorry for you—you are such a fool, Uchiha! You didn't even consider that I might actually love you back!"

"You… can't…" Sasuke was shaking his head desperately and trying to struggle away from me. "All of the things I've done-"

"I've done things too," I reminded him, trying to keep my voice level as I pulled him back to me.

"-I've murdered people, innocent people-"

"So have I."

"-I've been a bastard-"

"I'm not exactly the friendliest person in the world either."

"-I betrayed you and everyone else when I left to join Orochimaru-"

"And you came back, and I forgave you."

"Damn it!" Sasuke's fist thudded against my chest. "Damn it! Damn you! Why-why do you always have to do this?! You always have to be so understanding and accepting and I HATE IT! I hate it, and I hate y-y—"

He slumped over, sobbing uncontrollably again as his fists pummeled my chest weakly. The punches didn't hurt, but it was the raging emotions behind each hit that tore me to pieces. And the strangest thing was… I was happy. I'd known all along that Sasuke was angry and hurting, but he always managed to hide it behind a careless smirk or a cold scowl. I didn't care what he screamed at me or how many times he hit me, because only one thing mattered; he was finally breaking out of the cage he'd confined himself in.

Sasuke's arms eventually fell limply to his sides and the sobs subsided, though his eyes were still leaking. I lightly brushed his hair out of his face, and his onyx eyes snapped up to mine. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse from crying.

"Why… why would you ever fall in love with ME?"

I paused before answering and let my eyes roam over his face. His eyes were rimmed with red, his black hair was disheveled, the mark on his cheek where I had punched him was darkening, and yet he'd never looked more beautiful in his life.

"Because I think I see something in you… that you don't even see yourself." I brought my hands up to his face and held it close to mine. "You ARE a good person."

Sasuke's mouth quivered violently. "Fuck you," he whispered, but his voice sounded pleading instead of heated and condemning. "You act like you know everything about me when you don't!"

"Maybe I don't… but I want to. I want to be as close to you as I possibly can." I searched his eyes one last time before taking in a shaky breath.

"Sasuke, I love you."

Sasuke went completely still; for a second I thought he'd stopped breathing. His body wasn't even shaking. Then, slowly, as if it was pushing through a deep fog, a light blush lit up his face.

"Sasuke…?"

"Do you… mean that?" Sasuke asked breathlessly.

I didn't even bother answering; I leaned across the few inched separating us and pressed my lips to his. For a moment nothing happened, then Sasuke let out a small moan and kissed back, and everything turned into blissful unreality.

"Nngh… Gaara, I…" I silenced him with another kiss as I pushed him flat on his back, tracing his stomach with my fingertips. I was lost in the sudden rush of emotions that washed over me as we held each other close and one kiss slid into another and another, each kiss reminding me that this wasn't a fucked-up fantasy. I had someone to love, someone that I could really and truly love and that would give me love in return.

_Uncle Yashamaru…_ I thought, almost grinning as I ran a hand through Sasuke's soft hair, _how wrong you were…_

My mouth moved to latch onto Sasuke's rapidly beating pulse; I heard him gasp for air, his chest heaving under mine to replace whatever oxygen he had lost.

"Gaara… I love you," he said quietly, hugging me almost suffocatingly tight. A small smile formed on my lips before they were pressed to the bruise on Sasuke's cheek.

"I love you, too," I whispered against his skin. "Don't ever forget that."

"Heh… how can I, if you're going to be treating me like this from now on?" He smirked and nuzzled his head against my neck, kissing it lightly. I let out a low sigh before closing my eyes and losing myself in his beauty and warmth.

The clouds from yesterday had long since disappeared, making the stars and the night sky the only witnesses to the first thing in my life that was absolutely perfect.


	5. Can You Keep a Secret?

**(AN: Finally, they're together… Now, I can write some real romance scenes… –cracks knuckles- Reviews are luff.)**

**Pairings: GaaSasu, KankuKiba, NaruSaku later**

**Disclaimer: Dood, now I understand why other fanfic authors quit in the middle of their stories… THEY GET SICK OF TYPING THE STUPID DISCLAIMER!!**

**Chapter Five: Can You Keep a Secret?**

**(Sasuke POV)**

The first sensation I felt the next morning was pain.

I woke up from what felt like an eternity of warm nothingness; I hadn't even dreamed about Gaara, to my surprise. But maybe that was because I didn't need to dream anymore.

Smiling slightly to myself, I cracked my eyes open, only to let out a very Kiba-ish yelp and snap them close; the bedroom window was wide open, allowing the morning sunlight to stream inside and stab at my eyes.

Still, I was in too good of a mood to mind. The night before was almost a blur. Gaara and I hadn't even bothered going back to Naruto's party; the thought of facing Sakura and Ino sent me into hysterics again, so Gaara had to take us back to our room. I'd fallen asleep in his warm arms, still whispering to him how much I loved him to make up for every time I should have said it before.

Speaking of which… my hand fumbled toward the spot where Gaara should have been laying beside me, but instead it touched cold bed sheets. My eyes flew open; Gaara was gone.

"Nngh…" I sat up and stretched, wondering where he could have gone. What time was it, anyway? I blinked sleepily and peered at the clock.

11:00 am.

…

… Wait, WHAT?!

I burst out of the bedroom. "Crap! Why did I sleep in so late?!"

A small laugh reached my ears; I looked around and found Gaara on the couch with a creased paper lying unfolded in his lap and a steaming mug on the coffee table beside him. He was still in the clothes he had slept in: A black T-shirt that was about two sizes too large and hung off his shoulders, and black boxers that barely clung to his narrow waist.

My hand absentmindedly covered my nose. 'My boyfriend. This is my boyfriend.'

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you," Gaara said with an apologetic smile. "It's just… you looked so peaceful, and I couldn't bring myself to disturb you."

My face heated up slightly, but I allowed myself to smile as he turned back to the paper. I watched him skim intently over the words written on the page, and an idea popped into my head.

I walked toward him as casually as I could, stopping in front of the couch and peering at his face. Gaara was still reading over whatever that thing was, but he threw me occasional glances and his cheeks were the lightest shade of pink. I sighed and plopped myself onto the couch, kicking up my feet on the armrest and laying my head on his lap and paper.

Gaara's brow furrowed as he looked down at me. "Uchiha, I'm trying to read this."

"Are you still going to call me 'Uchiha', then? I kind of like it when you call me Sasuke. And besides…" I reached up to stroke his cheek. "You can't say you don't want me here."

With a quick tug, Gaara pulled the paper from under my head and covered my face with it.

"Aaaw." I crossed my arms over my chest and let out another great sigh, causing the paper to flutter.

A second later Gaara moved the paper off my face and made a move before I'd even begun to prepare for it. Each gentle kiss he placed on my lips sent a strange, fuzzy feeling shooting down my spine. My eyes closed slowly and my fingers buried in scarlet hair, and I accepted every rush that went through my body, every jolt that set my nerves on fire.

"Did you like that? …Sasuke?" Gaara said huskily. My face turned a dark shade of red; the way he said my name was making me feel uncomfortable in a certain private area. Gaara laughed softly and turned back to the paper, leaving one hand to stroke my hair.

"What's that?" I asked, prodding the paper. Gaara heaved a great sigh.

"A letter from Temari."

"Are you serious? You've only been gone for about three days!"

Gaara shrugged. "Temari and Kankuro are a little… overprotective, I guess. At least, that's what other people say." He put the letter on my chest. "You can read it if you want to."

"Hmm, why not?" I picked it up and began to read:

_Gaara,_

_How are you and Kankuro? Everything is so busy here in Suna—trust that all the hard work should come right after you leave and I'm in charge! Nah, I'm just kidding, I don't mind. The council's glad that you're gone, but who cares about them? They're all just jealous that you're only sixteen and yet you're smarter and stronger than them. They should get over themselves. Oh, sorry, I'm ranting again. _

_I hope you're having fun on your vacation, God knows you deserve some. If Kankuro's pulling a nasty with Kiba in public again, just tell me and I'll whip some sense into him. Also, write me if there are any problems. You know, people I need to beat up, etc._

_Tell the others I send my love (especially Shika. And tell him to get off his lazy ass and visit me every once and a while! I feel totally unloved over here!)_

_Temari_

_P.S. How are things going with SASUKE-KUN??_

I stopped at the last line and re-read it a few times. "So… Temari knows that you… have feelings for me?"

"Yeah." Gaara smoothed my bangs out of my face. "Temari and Kankuro both know, and I guess Kiba found out through Kankuro… but Kankuro's not crazy about the fact that I fell in love with you."

"Hmm…" I thought back to our first day at the hotel, when Kankuro had caught us hugging on the roof. Well, that probably explained the look on his face, and the way he had dragged me across the ground with his chakra strings…

I read over the entire letter again. It felt so strange, reading something that Gaara's older sister had written to him. It was like looking into another side of his life that I had no business being a part of. I got to the line about the council, and my mouth went dry.

"Gaara," I asked slowly, "you aren't thinking about, you know… going public with 'us', are you?"

"Actually, now that you mention it, I was thinking that we shouldn't put the fact that we're lovers out in the open yet." Gaara took the letter from my hands and laid it on the coffee table. "I hope you don't mind; I just don't want your reputation to be ruined because of me."

I nodded slowly, but my teeth dug into my bottom lip; really, it wasn't MY reputation that I was concerned for.

"And besides…" Gaara said casually as he traced my lips with his index finger, pausing at the spot I had bitten into, "… how would Sakura and Ino react if they discovered that you were stolen from under their noses?"

"Oh God!" I sat up straight and gave him a frosty glare. "Don't get me started with those two, please. I'm already confused as to how I'm going to be able to deal with them without giving anything away. Aargh, those two are the last people that I wanted to be thinking about right now, and you just had to—"

With one swift movement, Gaara had me flat on my back; he himself was straddling my waist, and his lips were inches above mine. The look in his eyes made me shiver with fear and excitement.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," ha whispered, ghosting his hand across my chest. "Would you like me to… help you forget about them?" My eyes widened. Was Gaara flirting?! GAARA?! He didn't give me time to dwell on that matter, because the words had barely left his mouth before he pulled me into our most passionate kiss yet.

Neither of us wasted anytime; our tongues lapped at each other desperately as our hands explored the vast mysteries of each other's bodies, and all the while the area in between my legs was feeling more and more uncomfortable. The sound effects weren't helping my "situation" any; our moans and whimpers soon became constant, and when my hands slid under Gaara's shirt and rubbed against a particularly sensitive area, he let out a high-pitched gasp into my mouth that made me want to tackle him to the ground right there.

"Sasuke…" He pressed himself against me, sending a thrill of fear through my mind. 'Oh God, he'll feel it, he'll feel it and I'll die, absolutely die—'

Gaara broke away for a moment, worry in his eyes. "Sasuke, is this making you feel uncomfortable? …You seem nervous."

My eye twitched. "Nervous? Nervous?! Me?! I'll show you how nervous I am, you little—"

I gripped his shoulders and flipped him, putting me on top, and I started my attack. My mouth latched immediately onto his lower lip and my hands pushed his shirt up, revealing his well-worked chest and stomach. My thumbs flicked over his hard nipples and slowly traced the darkened area; all the while I sucked and nibbled on his bottom lip, occasionally laving attention with my tongue. Gaara's whimpers only egged me on, and I decided a little more teasing was just what we needed.

"Gaara…" I ran my tongue up his right cheek. "Gaara, touch me… I want you to touch me…"

Gaara's face turned a beautiful shade of red. His hands slowly crept into my shirt and began caressing my stomach, his thumbs rubbing in small circles against my skin. I moaned quietly, filling my voice with longing.

"Mmmn… Gaara…" I lifted my quivering hips slightly and began moving my hand southward. Gaara squirmed slightly, and his nails dug into my back. I flashed him a coy smirk.

"So, who's nervous now, Gaara-sama?"

Gaara scowled at me, trying to look indignant but only succeeding in looking even cuter. "I'm NOT nervous—Aah!" My hand slipped onto his thigh and pushed up his boxers slightly, stroking the obviously sensitive skin. He gasped and squeezed his eyes shut, his squirms growing more desperate.

"Shh, be a good boy for me, Gaara…" I ran my other hand through his hair, my eyes never leaving his face so that I could see his reaction. "You asked for this by calling me 'nervous'."

"Nngh… well, I would apologize, but to be truthful… I think I'm enjoying this, and I want it to continue."

I blinked; the statement completely threw me off guard, especially since just seconds before I had Gaara blushing and whimpering beneath me. Gaara took advantage of my pause by pulling my lips down to his. I accepted the kiss, but a part of me (probably my Uchiha pride) felt ashamed.

_Damn it, no matter what I try, in the end I'm always the uke!! Why do I let Gaara overtake me like this? I'm a man, too!_

"Uchiha, why'd you let Gaara overtake you like that? You're a man, too!"

I looked up, and nearly died of shock; Kiba sat in a nearby armchair, watching us as if we were a mildly interesting school demonstration.

"What the hell—? How long have you been sitting there?!" I demanded, managing to keep my voice steady.

Kiba thought for a bit. "Umm… since Gaara said you were nervous, or something. Your hand's still up Gaara's boxers, by the way," he pointed out. My face burned as I whipped my hand away and leapt off of Gaara, falling off the couch in the process. Kiba snorted. "Yeah, that was smooth. Not as smooth as you were earlier, though." He folded his legs Indian-style and grinned "innocently". "Seriously, when did you learn how to be so… seductive? You were almost turning ME on."

My heart seemed to sputter and shut down. Gaara, meanwhile, suddenly looked stony, and when he helped me back onto the couch he stayed latched to my arm in an almost possessive manner.

"So…" the dog nin said conversationally, as if he hadn't just interrupted an intense make-out session, "I guess this goes without asking, but am I correct in thinking you two idiots are finally together?"

A small, choking noise managed to jump out of my mouth. It would be pointless to deny the truth if he had been watching us for so long, but if we admitted to it, knowing Kiba's gossiping streak, the news would spread from Konoha to Kingdom Come in a matter of days. That was the LAST thing we wanted or needed. I looked to Gaara for help, but he was too busy glaring at Kiba to notice.

"What if we are?" I said evasively, mustering up a cold scowl. Then, in a mock-frightened voice, "Are you going to tell on us to Kankuro?"

"Hell no!" Kiba exclaimed, looking horror-struck. "I know better than that; he wouldn't just be pissed at you, he would get mad at me too…" Kiba bit into his hand, looking genuinely anxious. "I don't want Kankuro angry with me, we haven't fought in ages."

Gaara and I exchanged glances, and I could tell that we were thinking the same thing; why would Kankuro fight with Kiba over the fact that we were lovers?

I turned back to Kiba, my mouth open and ready to let out the question, but at that moment a loud, obnoxious rapping noise came from the direction of the door.

"Gaara-sama! Teme!" I sighed wearily; there were no prizes for guessing who that could be. "Are you still asleep? Get off your asses, there's so much to do today!"

I got up from the couch, frowning darkly, and trudged to the door. "Fuck off, dobe," I called back, and I ignored Kiba's scolding about my language. "It's too early for you to be giving me brain seizures."

Naruto didn't bother answering, but he continued to pound on the poor door until I finally gave in and let him inside.

"Good morning to you, too!" he said cheerily; he was already fully dressed in his usual eye-watering orange, and combined with his energy vibes I felt like I was having a staring contest with the sun. "Holy crap, that's a HUGE bruise on your cheek. Who gave it to you? I want to send them flowers."

"Oh, ha ha." I rolled my eyes and re-claimed my spot on the couch next to Gaara.

"Hey, hey, I was just joking, no need to get so prissy—Oh! Hey Kiba!"

"Hey Naruto! What's up? Are we gonna go drinking later today?"

"No," said Naruto; Gaara and I let out sighs of relief. "The party killed at least half of us… Me and Sakura are okay 'cause we didn't drink too much…" he began counting the wounded and hangover-inflicted off on his fingers. "Then there's you with your amazing tolerance, so you're fine…" (In the background, Kiba smirked proudly at me). "And of course, Gaara-sama and Sasuke here would never go near anything with the word 'alcohol' on it—huh?" Naruto paused in his monologue and threw me a weird look.

"What?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, er, when exactly did you and Gaara get so friendly?"

It was then I noticed the weight on my arm; I looked down and saw Gaara leaning against me, his eyes closed and his breathing deep. I fought down my blush and shrugged.

"He's probably just tired, I have no idea what time he wakes up in the morning…" I said feebly. Naruto looked disbelieving; Kiba was obviously fighting down a snicker. I rolled my eyes and, hating myself thoroughly for doing so, shook Gaara's shoulders roughly. He gave a small jolt and lifted his head, blinking rapidly. "What--?"

"You're all over my arm, Gaara," I said, giving him a meaningful look. "I think for your own safety, you should move elsewhere."

Gaara caught on immediately. "Whatever, Uchiha," he said coldly, pushing away from me with mock disgust. "I'd like to see you actually land a hit on me one of these days."

"I've done it once; I can do it again." I flicked his left shoulder, where I was sure there was still a scar from our first real fight. "Just give me one excuse to do it and I'll—"

"Okay, break it up!" Naruto bounced forward and dutifully sat down between us, looking amused. "How are you two going to survive being roommates if you keep trying to stab each other in the ribs? Jeez…"

"Don't worry, Naruto." Over the dobe's shoulder, Gaara gave me a sly smile. "I'm sure we'll find a way to… get along eventually. Right, Uchiha?"

My face burned a bright shade of crimson, and I had to hurriedly pull my bangs over my face.

Hiding our relationship was going to be much harder than I thought.


	6. Busted:yes, already

**(AN: I meant to update this chapter with the first five, but something strange happened. It's like my computer ate the file, because I swear I had it right in front of me, then it **_**disappeared…**_** But it's back now, so everything is good.**

**Over the next few chapters, I think I make my dislike of Sakura pretty obvious… I'm sorry, I have my own opinion, and my opinion is that Sakura is annoying and just slightly conceited, and that Sasuke should get off his emo ass and ask for Gaara's hand in marriage already. If you think otherwise, STFU and don't leave me a review crying over my abuse of poor wittle Sakuwa-chan)**

**Pairings: GaaSasu, KankuKiba, NaruSaku later**

**Disclaimer: The characters belong to Kishimoto, because I would never in my right mind make up characters like Ino and Sakura**

**Chapter Six: Busted**

**(Sasuke POV)**

"Sasuke-kun…?"

"Hmm? Oh…" I looked up from the book I was flipping through and immediately recognized the pink-haired girl standing beside me. "Hey, Sakura."

"Hi." She looked away from my face and turned instead to the book in my hands. "Wow. I never would have thought you'd be interested in those kinds of books."

"What, this?" I gestured at the thing in my hands (a dark romance about two boys that found healing and safety through each other, or something). "I'm just skimming through it; it's pretty lame, but I can't think of anything else to do."

"Oh, well…" Sakura's face brightened up, and I felt the sense of doom that always accompanied the brightening of her face around me. "In that case, do you want to go with me to the tea shop? It's a nice little place; not too crowded, perfect for if you want some privacy…"

About five feet away, Gaara made the slightest of turns in our direction. His face was calm and betrayed nothing, but I could sense that at that moment he wanted to destroy the entire bookstore. I barely managed to bite back a smile.

"Sorry Sakura, not interested," I said bluntly. Sakura looked down and began wringing her hands.

"Oh, um, I didn't mean like a DATE or anything," she said quickly, though her earlier comments had hinted otherwise. "We could, you know, just go as friends, I'll even bring Ino with me if you—"

"No thanks," I cut her off, my insides shriveling in horror at the thought of being in a tea shop with both girls. "I'm not that big of a tea person."

"Oh… right," Sakura said, as if she didn't already know that. She seemed to deflate a bit, but when she looked up at me again she had a small smile on her face. "That's fine. I'll be going, then. See you later."

A second later she was gone, running down the street to what I guessed was the tea shop. I put the monstrosity (sorry, the book) back on the shelf and looked around; the aisle was empty apart from me and Gaara, who was staring intently at his book as if hoping to burn a hole in it with his eyes. Sensing that it was safe, I walked over and hugged him from behind, putting my arms around his waist. Gaara sighed and leaned against me.

"It's at times like these that I'm going to wish that our relationship was public," he said quietly, also setting down his book.

I frowned. "I'd rather Sakura and Ino flirt with me than you lose your job."

"Lose my job?" he asked skeptically.

"Yes, lose your job. Apparently, the council in Suna distrusts you already. If they hear that you have a lover that's from Konoha AND that's male, it would only take a few days and a couple of announcements before you lose the public's support and get removed from office—"

"Okay, okay, I admit defeat. You win!" Gaara held up his hands in surrender. I smiled and kissed the shell of his ear.

"Hey, do you two work here? Do you know where—Oh! Sorry!"

I turned just in time to see a small, blushing girl run out of sight. Gaara gave a low sigh and gently slipped out of my arms. "That could have been one of our friends," he murmured, giving me a reproving look.

"But it wasn't," I pointed out, scowling.

Gaara snorted. "For someone so worried about keeping 'us' secret, you aren't very careful."

"At least I'm not falling asleep against your shoulder."

Gaara said nothing, but I saw him smirk slightly before he turned away.

It was barely our first afternoon as lovers, but it was obvious that both of us were already frustrated. Naruto, it turned out, had a plan for our vacation (a very vague and loosely put together plan, but a plan nonetheless). The plans all seemed to involve spending as much time in each other's company as possible.

More time with the people that annoyed me; less private time with Gaara. It was as it fate thought it hadn't fucked with me enough already.

_I wish we could just go back to the hotel room…_

"What was that?"

I blinked; Gaara was staring at me strangely. "What was what?"

The corners of Gaara's mouth twitched. "Do you mind telling me WHY you wish to go back to the hotel room?"

"Ah…" Shit, did I say that out loud? I rubbed the back of my neck nervously and pretended to be absorbed with the book titles behind him. "I'm just, you know, tired of looking around this town…"

"Ah, I get it," Gaara said thoughtfully, nodding slowly. "So you want us to go to the hotel room for a… how does Kankuro say it? A 'change of scenery'."

I sputtered and choked on my own saliva. "G-Gaara!"

"Yes?" said Gaara, looking up at me innocently. My eyes narrowed.

"Don't give me that cute look, you just—" I clapped a hand over my mouth.

"Hmm?" Gaara took a step forward into my personal space. "Did you just… call me cute?"

I let out a loud snort and turned away. "Yeah, right."

"But I just heard you."

"Get your ears checked, Kazekage-sama."

"Why did you call me cute?"

"Damn it!" I ran my hands through my hair frustratedly and made sure to look at anything but the angel in front of me. "Why'd I call you cute? Because you ARE cute, you're cute and adorable and sexy and hot and all the other words you can think of. Jesus, Gaara, hasn't anyone ever told you that you're attractive?"

"…No," said Gaara, so quietly that I almost missed it. For once, he looked completely thrown off guard, as if he had just experienced a physical blow.

"Well, you are," I said, crossing my arms defiantly, "and anyone that thinks otherwise is a bloody fool."

Silence. Shit, even though we were together now we still seemed to have awkward moments. Was that supposed to happen? Are you supposed to feel weird around your boyfriend?

With a tiny moan, Gaara leaned forward and hugged me tightly, resting his forehead against my shoulder. "Thank you," he whispered, and I felt a soft heat pulse through my body. "That was a very nice thing to say."

I let out a low breath as his arms tightened their grip. My hands gently tilted his face up, and I began to lean in—

"Uchihaaa! Gaaraaa!"

I cursed and reluctantly pulled away; through the store window I could see Naruto peering into nearby stores, occasionally calling out our names.

"Stupid dobe," I hissed, the warmth being replaced once again with frustration. "Well, it must be time to go to the next event on this epic journey of his." Gaara rolled his eyes and started walking down the aisle while I followed close behind.

"Oh, Sasuke." Gaara looked over his shoulder at me. My eyebrows rose slightly. "I guess I should say that I also think you are quite…"

He stopped, his brows furrowed as he searched for the appropriate word to describe me.

"…sexy."

With that he headed out the door, leaving an open-mouthed and thoroughly stunned Uchiha in his wake.

--

(Sakura POV)

"Sakura!" Ino ran out of the tea shop, where she had been waiting for me. When she saw that I was alone, however, her face fell. "Where's Sasuke? You said you were going to bring him here."

"He didn't want to come," I said with a heavy sigh. I felt slightly abandoned; you would think that, after years of trying to approach him, he would at least take SOME interest in me, or at least give me a chance.

"Oh well…" Ino looked around, as if hoping I was joking and he would pop out from behind some corner or something. "Better luck next time, right?"

I nodded, but on the inside I snorted and glared. _You always say that. "Better luck next time." I get so sick of it! It's been four years since I joined his team already! Come on!_

"Hey…" Ino's voice went quiet, as if with awe. "Sakura, have you ever considered that he might have a girlfriend or boyfriend already?"

"What?! NO WAY!!" I screamed, disgusted. "He would tell me, for one thing, I mean, I AM his friend." Then I did a double take. "And what do you mean, 'or boyfriend'?"

Ino shrugged. "Come on, he acts like he might be gay. We could at least consider that he might have a boy—"

"No way," I repeated, anger making my vision go red. Ino, sensing that I was this close to attack the nearest living thing closest to me, backed away slightly and quickly looked over my shoulder. "Oh, hey, Sasuke's over there! He just came out of some store with Gaara; they're going over to meet with Naruto…"

I looked over my shoulder. Sasuke was indeed walking with Gaara, and they were talking… Something caught my eye. Sasuke looked flustered, his cheeks tinted pink and his hands deep in his pockets; Gaara was smirking slightly, as if at some private joke. Naruto didn't seem to notice anything unusual (like he ever did. Honestly, the dunce) but my eyes narrowed and my mind began to race. Ino wasn't the sharpest kunai on the weapon rack, and she was obsessed with Sasuke; if she considered the possibility that Sasuke was gay…

I shook my head. _Oh please, Sakura. You've known Sasuke for years now. Don't scare yourself like that!_

Still, I had to work harder to keep my smile on as Naruto bounded in our direction, calling out my name and waving. Maybe… if I just kept my eyes on him… it couldn't hurt, could it…?

--

(Sasuke POV)

"Hey, Sasuke! You should have hung out with me and Shikamaru earlier today!"

"Hmm." I picked idly at my food.

Naruto frowned at my lack of attention. "We saw something really wild today, you wouldn't believe—"

"Hmm."

Naruto scowled, then turned to Kiba; it seemed that he had given me up as a lost cause. I sighed deeply (it seemed I was doing that a lot lately) and continued staring at my half-eaten food.

The sky outside was quickly darkening, fitting nicely with my current mood. Right when I'd thought we were going back to the hotel, Ino, Tenten, and Sakura insisted that we all eat at a restaurant together, cutting my time with Gaara even shorter. I was really starting to resent the rice in front of me.

You'd think that after going over sixteen years without Gaara that I could wait a few more hours to be with him again. Ha, not the case. I hated not being aloud to touch him, and I hated it that I couldn't even talk to him like I wanted to. I was still acting, still lying, still painting a false face for the world to see, and I couldn't stand it.

_It's worth going through this if it means protecting Gaara,_ I told myself heatedly. _Besides, no matter what I get to fall asleep in his embrace… That should be more than enough…_

At the end of the table, Gaara gave a sudden start. I watched, concerned, as he fumbled with his pockets, obviously searching for something.

"What's up, Gaara?" Kankuro asked; it seemed that I wasn't the only one to notice Gaara's change in behavior.

Gaara cursed, which surprised everyone in the vicinity. "I left my wallet behind, probably at the bookstore." He stood up, looking strained. "Damn… Uchiha, come with me, you were there too so you can help me."

I immediately jumped up; I was more than ready to leave behind the noisy crowd of "friends".

"Oh, I'll come with you!" Sakura said quickly, starting to get up, but Gaara shook his head.

"I don't want too many people coming with me. Stay here; it's just a wallet, no reason for everyone to go on a search party…"

Gaara swiftly walked out the door, and I followed just behind. Just before the restaurant door closed, I distinctly heard Neji murmur, "But I thought Gaara NEVER misplaced his belongings."

It took a few minutes of travelling for me to realize something odd. We were passing by buildings that I did not remember, and I never forgot my surroundings.

"Gaara?" I asked softly. "Are you sure this is the right way?"

No response. Gaara kept up his quick pace, his eyes set straight ahead. I trotted to keep up.

"Gaara, this isn't the right way."

Nothing.

"Gaara, seriously—"

"I know."

Gaara reached back and grabbed my wrist with a shaking hand. I was beginning to get a bad feeling; I trusted Gaara, but I'd never seen him so out of it. And why were we going this way if he knew it was the wrong way?"

"I thought you lost your wallet—"

"I lied," Gaara said simply. He sounded so tense that I decided to keep my mouth shut.

A moment later Gaara tugged on my wrist and pulled me into a deserted side road. I looked around uneasily, my body tensing as if I was preparing for a fight.

"Gaara, what's going--?!"

My demand was cut off as Gaara hugged me tightly. My fear disappeared immediately as I gave in and hugged him back, my lips pressed against his cheek. I didn't have to ask now why he had lied; we'd both wanted the same thing.

"Mmmn, Sasuke…" Gaara sighed, his fingertips skimming feather-light across my cheeks. "I'm afraid that you might be bringing out my selfish side."

"You? Selfish? Those words don't even belong in the same sentence." If anything, I was the selfish one. "How does wanting a hug make you selfish?"

Gaara's eyes flicked upward and held mine in a steady gaze. "What if that's not all that I want?"

It was then that I noticed the fire in Gaara's emerald eyes; the fire of something less than innocent, a fire of need. I didn't need a mirror to know that right then the same fire burned behind my own.

"Anything you ask for… you will receive," I whispered, and my lips met with his.

We started off slow, but our patience had been worn thin; our small kisses soon turned into a battle of tongue and teeth with our hands gripping each other's hair tightly. Gaara pushed me against a wall and slowly, torturously rocked his hips into mine. A long, low moan escaped from my throat and my face lit up.

'Oh God, his hips are moving against mine, his hips, his—' Acting on a sudden urge, I pushed back; I could tell by his muffled gasp that I had done the right thing. The movements intensified, and a minute later my small moans had elevated into actual cries. I threaded my fingers into Gaara's hair and pulled him even closer, crushing our lips together to try and stifle our noises, but I could do nothing to stop the rushes of passion or the fact that my pants were way too tight or the fact that I could feel Gaara's—Gaara's—

"Sasuke…" Gaara managed to gasp into my mouth around our tongues. His hands crept down my sides and gripped my waist tightly, holding me against him for a long, heated moment. "I… love you… Sasuke…"

Dark as it was, as soon as the words left his mouth a shadow seemed to fall over us. My heart was struck by a sudden, unexplainable fear; I swiftly broke this kiss, pushed him behind me protectively and whipped around, grabbing a kunai out of my back pocket as I saw the outline of a girl—

Sakura took a step back, her hands clapped over her mouth. "What… on earth… is going on?"

She sounded like she was in a state of shock, and she wasn't the only one. My pounding heart came to a complete halt, and I felt like a hole had opened up underneath me and I was falling… falling… falling…

_One day. It hasn't even been one day. Oh no, no, no—_

"Sakura—"

"What is this?!" Sakura screamed, her face twisted in blind fury. "I-I saw you kissing HIM! You were kissing Gaara!! Is this why you've always rejected me, because you were getting it on with HIM?!"

"Sakura, please—" I glanced quickly at Gaara; he was as white as a ghost. "Don't shout—"

"I'll do whatever I want! That's what you seem to be doing, at any rate." Her fist smashed into the wall, leaving a hand-sized crater. "You and Gaara were making out! I am NOT leaving here until I get an explanation! WHAT IS THIS?!"


	7. Sasuke and Sakura Say Mean Words

**Pairings: GaaSasu, KankuKiba, NaruSaku later**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, wish I did, because I would make GaaSasu canon in a heartbeat**

**Chapter Seven: The Chapter Where Sasuke and Sakura Say Mean Words**

**(Sasuke POV)**

_Days pass…_

When I woke up, the bedroom was lit by a soft morning glow; Gaara and I had finally gotten the sense to pull the curtains over the window, taking away most of the glare. I blinked rapidly, trying to un-fuzzy my vision, and instinctively reached out. My fingertips didn't have to go for more than an inch before they touched something warm.

I sat up, stretching, and looked down beside me. Gaara was still asleep, his blood-red hair messier than usual and his arms still loosely around my waist. It was odd; for the past few days, he had slept in as well. I could only guess that it was because of the stress caused by that night, when Sakura caught us…

I leaned down and pressed my lips to his ear. "Good morning, my love," I murmured, blowing playfully on the edge of his ear. "It's time to get up."

Gaara let out a noise of annoyance and weakly hit my shoulder. I chuckled; not as asleep as I thought, then.

"Ah, well." I stretched again and slipped my legs off the bed. "You can sleep in, then, but I'm getting up to do something useful."

I started to get up, but a hand loosely grabbed my wrist and tugged slightly. "No…" Gaara mumbled sleepily; his eyes were barely cracked open, allowing a sliver of green to penetrate the mass of black rings. "Please… stay with me…"

He didn't need to ask twice. I practically dove back under the covers, grinning at the way Gaara immediately clutched onto me. "Jeez, Gaara, I'm not a teddy bear."

"No," Gaara agreed seriously. "No, you're much better looking than a teddy bear."

I rolled my eyes. "I beg to differ."

"Of course you do, Sas, of course…" Gaara yawned and nuzzled his head against my shoulder. His breathing soon returned to a slow, even pace and his grip on me slackened somewhat. I sighed deeply and ran my fingers slowly down his back, feeling content.

Content… When was the last time I had felt content? Had there ever been a time before now? I felt like a gaping hole in my heart that I had been unaware of had been filled to the brim and was flooding over. I was clean, I was whole, and for the first time I felt truly ALIVE. It had only been five days since we had gotten together, and already I felt… different. I was changing, I could almost physically feel it… and it felt so…

_Knock knock knock._

I groaned and lifted my head. Why was someone at the door? Naruto had told me that there was nothing really planned for today. Unless, of course, it was Kiba again…

I softly pried Gaara's hands off of me and sat up. "I'll be right back," I murmured, kissing his cheek before slipping out of the room.

When I opened the front door I received a small shock. Instead of Kiba or Naruto, Sakura stood there, wringing her hands but looking determined. My eyebrows rose slightly.

"I thought you weren't speaking to me."

"Just—just let me inside," she said quickly, looking at the section of wall above my left shoulder instead of my face. I stepped to the side and let her in.

"Sakura…" I sat in the armchair; I wasn't going to give her the temptation of attacking me on the couch. "Why are you here?"

"I just want to talk. Is that so wrong?" She took my hint and sat on the end of the couch farthest away from me. "We're still friends, right?"

"That depends on how exactly you define 'friend'."

"I don't deserve that, Sasuke." She was looking at me steadily in the eye now, though her shoulders were shaking slightly. "I haven't told anyone about you and Gaara. I've kept my mouth shut. Doesn't that mean anything?"

Her question was followed by an uncomfortable silence. The truth was, I was still angry with her, and nothing she could do would change that. I didn't want to look at her, talk to her, or breathe the same oxygen as her, and she knew it.

She took in a shaky breath. "So, um… how are you and Gaara doing?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," I muttered, my eyes narrowing. She leapt to her feet with her fists clenched.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't act as if you aren't at least thinking about it."

"Why would I try to split you two up?!"

"Did I say that?" I asked mildly, a smirk forming on my lips. Tears of fury formed in her eyes.

"I-I could tell everybody if I wanted to!" she yelled, and I felt my heart clench. "There are laws against what you and Gaara are doing! LAWS! What if I went to Suna and told the council that Gaara's sleeping with you—"

"WHAT?!" I was now on my feet as well, though I had no memory of jumping up. "Why would you say that?! Gaara and I—we haven't—"

"Don't give me that." She looked me over slowly, her eyes grazing over my boxers and baggy T-shirt before stopping at my neck.

"What's that?" she asked loudly, pointing at the offending object in case I forgot where my neck was. I reached up and pressed my fingers against a slightly sore spot.

"This?"

"Yes! Is that a hickey?"

"Maybe," I mumbled, blushing slightly. "So what?"

"How do I know you weren't doing something ELSE when you got that hickey?"

"Why are you so determined to convince yourself that we're sleeping together?!" I shot back, keeping the small bruise covered with my hand.

"I don't need to convince myself, I'm sure that's what is going on!"

"Even if we were, is it any of your business?"

"Yes! Damn it, Sasuke—you were MINE! You were mine and then that red-haired jerk showed up—"

"Don't… you… dare," I hissed, sudden fury making my voice unsteady. "I was never yours. NEVER. When did I ever show any interest in you? I've… I've been in love with Gaara for the past four years. Don't you dare insult Gaara because I fell for him instead of you!"

There was a slight creak; our heads moved at the same time toward the bedroom door, where Gaara was leaning against the frame, still looking half asleep.

"Sas…? I heard you yelling… What--?"

Sakura cleared her throat roughly, and Gaara's green eyes flicked toward her. A look of confusion began creeping onto his face; she was glaring dangerously, her burning eyes fixed on his neck. I followed her gaze and choked.

"So, I guess I'm the only one that didn't hear about this new fashion trend," she muttered, her voice trembling with barely suppressed anger, before turning on her heel and storming from the room.

Gaara took a careful step forward. "What was--?"

I tapped the side of my neck, and his cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of crimson.

"Oh…" Gaara sighed wearily and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, if she's upset about this then I'm glad that she didn't take off your shirt."

Now it was my turn to blush.

"She also thinks that we've been sleeping together," I said bitterly.

Gaara's brow furrowed slightly. "Why would she think that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know… I don't think she actually believes that, though. She just wants to make up more reasons to stay mad at me."

A concerned look appeared in his eyes and he opened his mouth, but whatever words he had to say were drowned out by another yawn. Glad of an excuse to change the subject, I smiled slightly.

"Hmm? Still tired?"

Gaara glared indignantly at me. "Uchiha, I'm able to cope with a little drowsiness—Hey!"

In a quick movement I'd swept him off his feet and into my arms, holding him in that cliché "just married" style. He yelped and threw his arms around my neck, blushing fiercely.

"S-Sasuke, this is unnecessary—put me down—"

I ignored him and marched dutifully into the bedroom. I dumped him unceremoniously on the bed, smirking slightly as he continued to glare and scowl.

"I don't need to stay in bed," he muttered. He propped himself up on his elbows, but I wasn't letting him up that easily. I slid on top of him and clamped my knees on either side of his hips; my hands grabbed his and held them above his head, completely immobilizing him.

"Don't make me force you," I whispered, leaning down to lick the corner of his mouth. Gaara let out a low breath and interlocked his fingers with mine, giving my hands a soft squeeze.

"I don't mind… if you force me…" I felt rather than saw his leg move up, and his thigh rubbed against my "private area". I gasped sharply, but my face didn't burn; I had no reason to be embarrassed about this, especially since it was just me and Gaara. There was nothing wrong.

I released his hands and kissed him slowly, deeply, just like I knew he liked it. His hands moved to the back of my neck and then slid into my hair; my hands moved in the opposite direction, skimming across his waist to cup his ass and lift his body slightly to meet mine.

"Sasuke…" Gaara pulled away, looking slightly dazed. This was one of the many things I loved; every time we kissed, he acted like it was the first time, like every single one completely blew him off his feet or made his heart soar.

"Yes?"

"I… love you."

I smiled and rolled off of him, choosing instead to curl up by his side. "I know," I murmured, snaking my arms around his chest. "And I love you too."

My eyes fluttered close as Gaara's hand ran over my cheek, and I soon forgot about everything but him. Sakura didn't matter, her false accusations didn't matter. There was nothing she could do to us, nothing to damage our perfect, wonderful secret. We were impervious and untouchable.

It's almost shocking how wrong a person can be.

--

How the hell had this happened to me? AGAIN?!

"Dobe!!" I yelled over the pounding music, forcing myself through Neji and Tenten's disturbing display to reach Naruto by the punch bowl. He looked up, grinning.

"Hey teme—"

"What the HELL! You told me there was nothing going on today, and then out of the blue I'm forced to another one of these!!" I gestured dramatically around at the party going on, once again, in his hotel room. "I don't care if you throw these things, but do you REALLY have to take me along for the ride?"

"Well, you know, I just think you should interact with people OTHER than your roommate." For some reason unknown to me, he let slip a snort of laughter before hastily covering his mouth.

"Speaking of which, where exactly is Gaara-sama?" Naruto asked once he seemed to regain control of himself.

I shrugged dismissively. "How should I know? I'm not his keeper."

To my confusion, Naruto let slip another snort of laughter, coughing fruit punch up all over himself.

"Ha ha… if you say so—heheheh—" The dobe clapped his hands over his mouth and sprinted off, red liquid still spewing out through the gaps between his fingers. I stood there with my mouth hanging open rather stupidly. Naruto always acted strange, but never quite like THAT…

"Saaaaasauke-kun!"

I instinctively tensed with fear as I turned to face Ino, who wore a mischievous look on her face. It took me a few seconds to realize something odd; the blonde kunoichi wasn't trying to attach herself to me like she usually did when I was within a fifteen-foot radius. Something in my stomach gave an uncomfortable squirm. First Naruto, now Ino?

"Sasuke-kun, do you want to go out with me after the party?"

For once, this question made me sigh with relief. I changed my mind, there was nothing weird going on with Ino.

"Sorry, Ino, not interested," I told her for the billionth time in five years.

"Oh, right, I forgot." She smiled and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "You'll already be BUSY tonight, won't you?"

With another annoying hair flip and a proud smirk, Ino stalked off, leaving me three times as bewildered as I was before. What was wrong with everyone? Was there something other than alcohol being passed around? Maybe—

"They sure are acting strange, aren't they?"

I turned to see Sakura leaning against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest. "Naruto and Ino, I mean. They're acting even stupider than usual, wouldn't you say?"

My eyes narrowed as a vague suspicion crept poisoningly into my mind. "What are you getting at?"

"Well, being a medic kunoichi, I suspect that there's something… going around, if you catch my drift."

The music seemed to falter and slowly fade away into the background; the warm air turned frigid and thick, and it wouldn't go down my throat correctly. I could almost hear my world as it crashed down around me, catching on fire, freezing over, then going through the entire process again and again…

"You… told…?" My voice was constricted and trembled violently. Sakura looked me over with a cold, triumphant fire in her eyes.

"Only a few people. I hope you don't mind…" She laughed bitterly. "But a love as strong as yours shouldn't have to be kept secret. I'm sure Gaara would agree."

I fought down my rapidly swelling panic. At the very least she'd only told Naruto and Ino… but that was even worse than Kiba knowing. Naruto would brag to the other guys, Ino would gossip through the girls, and eventually everybody would know, EVERYBODY.

And Gaara… what would happen to Gaara?

"You…" My fingers slowly curled into fists. "You have no idea what you've done."

Sakura stayed quiet and continued to stare at me. If anything, this made me even angrier. I instinctively reached into my back pocket but it was empty; Naruto didn't usually allow kunais or other weapons into his parties.

"What do you think you've done? Do you think you were just spreading rumors that made me a laughingstock? Did you even think about what could happen to Gaara if this got outside of our group? DID YOU?! I know you did, because you even reminded me about how much trouble we would be in if we were caught this morning!!"

The smirk slid off Sakura's face as I took a step closer; I guessed she never thought about what might happen if my temper erupted.

"I can't believe you!! Did you think this was all just a game?! You're SO SMART, aren't you, when it comes to paper tests at the Academy, but put you in the real world and suddenly you're the most emotionally blinded piece of WORTHLESS BAGGAGE that has ever set foot on this earth!!"

The silence that followed rang in my ears. Everyone was starting to stare obnoxiously; someone had even turned the radio down to better hear our shouting match. Sakura's eyes were literally overflowing; tears dripped down her cheeks, and as each one fell I felt a cold satisfaction. I couldn't take back what she had said, but at least I could do this.

"I…" She choked and wiped her eyes quickly. "I don't care what you say anymore… I'm not afraid of you… I'm not…" She trembled and closed her eyes.

"IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT YOU DON'T LOOK DOWN ON AND TREAT LIKE CRAP YOUR STUPID BOYFRIEND?!"

Another round of silence. Then, a collective gasp went around the room.

"Wha--?" Hinata looked from me to Sakura to me again, blushing even brighter than usual. "S-Sasuke has a BOYFRIEND?"

In a far corner of the room, Naruto burst into hysterics. I, on the other hand, couldn't see anything funny about the situation. This wasn't bad, it was horrible; if I didn't stop this—

"So…" Neji started with a small, mysterious smile. "Who could Uchiha's boyfriend be…?"

Everyone's heads moved as one to where Naruto stood. His laugh morphed quickly into a cry of disgust.

"What?! Me… and the teme?! Eeew, the images!" Naruto scrubbed at his eyes, as if that would clean away the mental scarring. "No way, that's gross! Sasuke fits much better with Ga—"

"NO!" I ran as fast as I could and slapped a hand over his mouth. "Shut up—"

"What, are you embarrassed?" Ino called sweetly, fluttering her eyelids.

"No!" I shouted urgently; everything was going from bad to worse to worst. 'God, please don't let Gaara walk in, don't let him walk in—'

The door opened, and Gaara walked in. Everyone in the vicinity turned from me to Gaara, and one by one looks of dawning wonder appeared on their faces. I let out a small whimper.

_Shit… shit…_

Gaara's brows raised slightly. "What a strange welcome…" He looked up at me, and his expression turned confused; I was gesturing at him frantically with my free hand to turn around and run like hell. Unfortunately, he didn't get the message, and slowly the mutterings began to burst forward.

"No way…"

"Could it be…?"

"Uchiha…"

"…and GAARA?"

"That's kind of sexy…"

"NEJI!!"

For a moment, Gaara looked shocked. His eyes locked with mine, silently asking the last question that I wanted to answer.

"I'm sorry," I mouthed before looking away. I couldn't even look at him. I'd screwed up; I'd egged Sakura into doing this. If only I had kept my mouth shut, controlled my overlarge pride… To my alarm, my eyes were burning, and I quickly ducked my head before anyone could notice.

A second later, he was by my side. His thumbs touched my jaw lightly, and I couldn't understand why he was touching me in the middle of this situation. I wanted to yell. I wanted him to yell. I wanted to hold him.

"Don't cry… my Sasuke…" Gaara murmured, brushing my bangs out of my face. Naruto, sensing entertainment, wriggled out of my grasp and sat back with the rest of the group to watch. That thought sent me on the verge of breaking down again, and suddenly words were forcing their way out of my mouth before I could keep them in check.

"I'm so sorry, Gaara, I'm so sorry, I completely messed up… and I'd made such a big deal about not telling people—I'm so stupid, I'm such an idiot—you job, oh God—"

"Sasuke, calm yourself," Gaara commanded, but his voice fell on deaf ears. I looked over his head at everyone else in the room, standing, sitting, all watching us, waiting for something to happen, waiting for a show. "The Fag", staring Uchiha Sasuke and Sabaku no Gaara as his gay, forbidden lover. I wanted to laugh and cry. How would that do as a show?

Gaara's hands cupped my cheeks and forced me to look down. "Don't look at them, Sas," he whispered, looking desperate. "Don't look at them; look at me. I'm here. I'll always be here."

"But—your job—"

"You worry about me too much." Gaara massaged my cheeks with his thumbs, as if nobody else was in the room with us. "I will be fine. Even if I lose my job… I'll still be here with you. Don't be afraid."

My eyes slowly closed and I let out a low sigh; a warm calm was slowly pulsing through my veins, amazingly obliterating all my fears and bad thoughts. It was amazing, the things that Gaara could do to me with a few simple sentences. My hands moved up and covered his, as if silently thanking him.

Gaara smiled softly and leaned up to lovingly kiss my lips. He'd understood.

"OoooooOOOOOOH!!"

Gaara and I turned sharply as our moment was abruptly shattered. The crowd in the room had re-materialized into reality (for a second, I'd kind of forgotten they existed), and their reactions appeared along with them. Naruto and Lee were on their feet, applauding and shouting words that didn't make sense; Kiba gave us an "I'm-so-proud-of-you" grin and two thumbs up; Hinata ran from the room, her face closely resembling a tomato; Tenten smiled vaguely (I wasn't sure if that was a reaction to us, though, that's all she ever seemed to do); Shikamaru patted a now-sobbing Ino on the back. My eyes roved over them all as my cheeks slowly burned again, but time seemed to slow when I reached Kankuro.

Gaara's older brother, unlike everyone else, stood as still as a statue. He clutched a broken bottle of sake in a bleeding fist, and the look in his eyes… shock, pain, betrayal, hatred. All directed unwaveringly at me.

"_Kankuro's not crazy about the fact that I fell in love with you…"_

I glared right back at him. I didn't care if I got Kankuro's approval or not. He couldn't change the way I felt, no matter how long he despised me. I didn't know why Kankuro had such strong feelings about me, but I would not be a coward anymore. I wouldn't back down, I wouldn't hide.

Gaara groaned and pressed his forehead against my shoulder. "Look at all the chaos we have caused," he sighed, rubbing his temples. I tore my gaze away from Kankuro and instead turned to the redhead in my arms, my whole world, my life, my heart. I put my arms tightly around his shoulders and held him close as the noise around us swept up into danger levels once again.

I was in love with Gaara, and I was not ashamed.


	8. Sleep With Me Tonight

**(AN: Yeah, tis the lemon chappie already. I know I'm putting these chapters out at a superhuman speed, but this might be my last update for a really really long time, so I want as much out here as possible. I hope you peoples don't mind… and I hope you pervs enjoy yourselves with this chapter.)**

**Pairings: Do I really need to tell you this? Honestly, it's chapter eight**

**Disclaimer: I shouldn't have to tell you this either. Do I LOOK like Masashi Kishimoto to you?**

**Chapter Eight: Sleep With Me Tonight**

**(3****rd**** person POV) ('cause writing a good lemon is awkward in 1****st**** person)**

Sasuke dashed out of Naruto's room with Gaara in tow. He slammed the door and leaned against it, panting heavily.

"Never again…" Sasuke ran a hand roughly through his hair. "I will never go to another party of Naruto's! That was the most stressful and nerve-wracking thing I've ever experienced! Aargh… maybe it was just a nightmare, and when I wake up nobody will know anything after all…" He looked up at Gaara, who was staring at him with a curious expression on his face. "What?"

"Oh… nothing," Gaara muttered quickly, shaking his head as if to clear his mind. Sasuke's lips twitched into a small smile.

"Come on," he said, holding out his hand. Gaara looked at it in surprise, as if he'd never seen a hand before.

"You're supposed to take it, Kazekage-sama," said Sasuke, smirking. Gaara blushed and slowly grabbed his hand.

"You know…" Sasuke started as they set off down the hallway, "after almost a week of being together, you would think you would learn to take your lover's hand when it's held out to you."

Gaara scowled. "I won't even bother replying to that."

"Aw, giving me the cold shoulder?"

"No, I'm just not speaking to you."

"But that's the same thing…"

Gaara didn't answer. Sasuke sighed, feeling slightly dejected, and stayed silent until they reached their room.

Sasuke's quick eyes noticed something out-of-place immediately on their door. "What's this?" He took the note hanging from a nail and unfolded it.

_To Gaara and the teme,_

_N.- How could you two have hidden this from me for almost a week?! That hurts, right here—Gah! Kiba just slapped me upside the head. I'm guessing he wants to write something too._

_K.- Stop talking about your heart hurting, Naruto, we don't care. Anyways, congrats on coming out of the metaphorical closet! Me and Naruto decided that you should have your own little "after party", if you catch our drift, so we snuck away from the party and totally re-vamped you place. Enjoy yourselves!!_

_N.- Make some sweet memories! Kiba's told me that you're still virgins. Ha ha ha! Gaara-sama, don't be afraid to break Sasuke's pride if you know what I mean!_

_Naruto and Kiba (your bestest friends ever)_

Gaara was starting to feel worried for his raven-haired lover; Sasuke was staring at the note, slack-jawed and with a face the color of a cherry. The Kazekage took the note from Sasuke's hands and read it quickly.

"Oh…" Gaara refolded the paper and glanced anxiously at the door. "Dare we even enter?" he asked quietly.

"If we don't, we'll be sleeping in the hallway tonight." Sasuke breathed in shakily, said a silent prayer in his head, and slowly opened the door.

"…Wow."

The middle of the room had been completely cleared away to fit in a small wooden table covered with a thin red tablecloth. On the table stood two small crystal glasses, a bottle of sake, and a small candle. There were candles set in other parts of the room as well, casting a low, flickering combination of orange light and shadows across everything in the vicinity. Sasuke stepped inside, still in shock as he closed the door behind Gaara.

"What on earth--?"

Gaara went to the table and picked something up: another note, this one hardly more than a strip of paper. Sasuke walked up behind him and, reading over his shoulder, recognized Kiba's messy scrawl.

_Consider this your first date, idiots._

Gaara let out a small laugh. "Our first date… inside our hotel room… of course." He looked up at Sasuke, a strange gleam in his eyes. "We're going to have to thank them for this later."

"Let's see how the night goes first. I won't be thanking anybody if they slipped sex stimulants into that bottle." Sasuke snorted and looked down to see Gaara's dumbstruck expression. "Kidding, I was kidding!" he added quickly. Gaara rolled his eyes, but looked relieved all the same.

Sasuke lifted the bottle of sake and, after swiftly taking off the cap, poured the drink into the two glasses. Gaara sat down in one of the chairs and took a glass. Sasuke was about to do the same, but something stopped him. The way the chairs were positioned… He and Gaara would only be separated by a couple of feet, but as far as Sasuke was concerned that was a couple of feet too far. The mere thought of it made Sasuke scowl.

The Uchiha grabbed his chair and swung it around the table, planting it next to Gaara. He sat down stubbornly and picked up his glass, trying to ignore Gaara's odd looks.

"Um, Sasuke--?"

"I want to be next to you," Sasuke muttered, leaning his head against Gaara's shoulder. The redhead blushed but didn't reply. His free hand crept up and stroked Sasuke's cheek, causing the Uchiha's eyes to flutter close and a breathless sigh to escape from his lips. Gaara's heart sputtered; it seemed that he's never really appreciated just how beautiful Sasuke was before now. The way the candlelight hit him, casting shadows over his eyes and cheeks, highlighting his dark hair, giving his pale skin a soft glow—

—_Sasuke panted over him, light from the candles making every drop of sweat on their entwined bodies shine as if they were stars—_

Gaara's face grew extremely hot and he quickly busied himself with his cup of sake. He was NOT having perverted daydreams about Sasuke. No, he wasn't. He definitely was not thinking about what it would be like to be in bed with him, to feel their bodies pressed so close together as Sasuke's fingers scratched down his back and—

"Gaara…?" Sasuke asked softly, and Gaara jumped in his seat. He hurriedly tried to fight down his blush; he did not need Sasuke to know about the things they were doing currently in his head. Maybe Sasuke had been right, and the drink WAS spiked.

"Hmm?"

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his cheeks tinted red, and for a horrifying moment Gaara wondered if he had guessed what he was thinking about. Sasuke took a deep breath, sat up straight, and put a hand lightly on Gaara's shoulder.

"Gaara, I… I…" The Uchiha burned scarlet but forced himself to keep looking into those deep, green eyes. "I want to… be as close to you… physically… as I am emotionally."

It took a moment for those words to register in Gaara's head, but as soon as he figured them out his eyes slowly widened and his breath caught. Sasuke bit into his bottom lip, anxiously waiting, waiting, waiting…

Sasuke backed away slowly, feeling completely embarrassed and horribly exposed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

Gaara leaned over and wrapped his arms around him; he too was blushing, but his gaze was steady and clear of any doubt or uncertainty.

"Sex stimulants…?" he whispered, smirking slightly, "or are you saying that you really want to spend the night with me?"

Sasuke's heart skipped a beat. He didn't know exactly what was making him say or think these things… but yes, he wanted to, he desperately wanted to. He wasn't sure if the drink really had been spiked… or if these were his own buried desires, finally coming uprooted.

"I want to make love with you," he said, his voice halfway between a husky whisper and a pleading moan. He swallowed nervously and finally broke their eye contact, looking down and pulling his bangs over his face. Gaara's hands moved at once; one gently lifted his chin while the other pushed the dark hair out of his face.

"Don't do that," Gaara murmured softly. "You look… much more beautiful when I can see your face."

Sasuke looked up slowly, and need-filled onyx met with need-filled emerald. Both boys leaned in until their lips lightly made contacts. Sasuke's cheeks flared, and his heart began racing.

Sasuke's glass slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor, where it was forgotten.

The Uchiha couldn't remember actually getting up out of his chair, but the next thing he knew he was holding Gaara close, kissing him like he'd never kissed him before, slowly making their way toward the bedroom all the while. This was much harder than he expected; he stumbled a lot, and at one point he tripped over Gaara's feet. The only thing that saved him was Gaara's iron grip.

"Do you need me to carry you?" Gaara whispered with a hint of a laugh. Usually Sasuke would have scowled and told him to watch himself, that he was in fact a man too, but tonight was different. Sasuke gripped Gaara's shoulders firmly and wrapped his legs around his waist, making the redhead gasp and re-position his hands to support the new weight.

"This is… a one time thing," Sasuke said firmly, as if to squash any ideas that might have been forming in his lover's head.

"Of course…" breathed Gaara, smiling slightly. He leaned up and nipped at Sasuke's lips, eliciting breathless sighs from the raven-haired boy. Sasuke's hands slipped down the fabric covering Gaara's back until they reached the shirt's edge; he pulled at the cloth irritably, anxious to start. Gaara got the message, and in a moment they were in the (also candlelit) bedroom. Gaara released Sasuke to close the door, not even thinking about the consequences of his action. The door was barely shut before the Kazekage found himself slammed against it with Sasuke's urgent lips at his neck.

"S-S-Sasu—aah!" The older boy's hands fumbled with Gaara's shirt again before finally succeeding in pulling it over his head. Sasuke's mouth moved down, sucking, licking, and leaving small red marks in its wake before finally reaching his right nipple. Gaara gasped sharply.

"Sasuke, wait—oooh, Sas—can't we at least make it—nngh—to the bed?" He moaned and arched into Sasuke's warm mouth. The Uchiha paused his treatment long enough to throw off his own shirt before attacking Gaara's neck. Gaara whimpered quietly and pressed his bare chest to Sasuke's, tracing his fingers over every accessible piece of skin. Curves, hollows, muscles, scars… everything captivated him, fascinated him, drove him completely and utterly crazy. That, combined with Sasuke's torturous mouth creating a large mark on his ivory skin, pushed him almost to the brink of his self-control.

"Uchiha, p-please," Gaara panted, digging his nails into his back. "Please, let's… let's go to bed… Let's get in bed…"

Sasuke brought his lips up to Gaara's ear, and it was impossible for the Kazekage to miss the smirk in his voice. "Impatient, aren't we?"

Gaara sighed. "I just don't think that against the bedroom door is a very good place to sleep together, to put it bluntly."

Gaara tensed, waiting for the smartass reply that he was sure would follow, but there was silence. Instead, when Sasuke pulled away there was an expression on his face that Gaara had rarely seen present on him, or whenever it had been there it was impossible to identify: caring.

Sasuke held out his hand, and this time Gaara didn't hesitate to take hold of it.

"Come on." The Uchiha pulled him toward the bed, stopping when the edge of the mattress hit the back of his knees. He dropped Gaara's hand to undo his pants, but cursed silently; his hands were shaking too hard to grip a piece of toast, much less a small button. Gaara watched him struggle for a second before grabbing his wrists.

"Sasuke… I'll do that."

Sasuke flushed crimson but allowed his hands to be pulled away. Gaara smiled.

"Lie down."

Sasuke slowly obeyed, his arms shaking worse than ever. He gripped the sheets tightly as Gaara slipped on after him, straddling his knees. Gaara leaned down and lightly kissed his stomach, then moved down further. Sasuke watched, almost fascinated, as Gaara undid the button with his teeth and began pulling down the zipper. Sasuke struggled to keep breathing as his body became way too hot, making him feel almost feverish.

"Oh my God," Sasuke gasped, squeezing his eyes shut and his pants were slid off his hips. He was still wearing his boxers, but the way Gaara was undressing him brought everything crashing down on him, brought what they were doing into frightening reality. "Oh my God… Oh my God…"

Gaara waited until he had completely removed Sasuke's pants before stopping. He crawled up Sasuke's body until they were face-to-face; both boys' breath quickened as Gaara's fingers slid slightly into the waistband of his boxers.

"Sasuke, are you afraid?"

Sasuke's teeth clenched on impulse. "What? I'm not…" His voice trailed off pathetically as the look in Gaara's eyes turned doubtful. The Uchiha sighed and looked away.

"Well… maybe… just a little bit… but—" He bit his lip. "I'd feel better if I wasn't the only one getting… exposed."

Gaara blinked in surprise. He immediately slid off Sasuke and kneeled at the foot of the bed, his fingers working at his zipper. Sasuke quickly regained his composure to sit up and stop him.

"You already had your turn," Sasuke said, managing to pull off a coy smirk. He slowly slipped his pants off his hips and let them drop to his knees, his eyes never leaving the redhead's face. Gaara's cheeks flushed as Sasuke leaned down to completely remove them, placing small kisses on his thigh as he worked. The tenderness of it all sent a shiver of longing rushing from Gaara's heart, down his spine, to his already aching erection. He grit his teeth; Sasuke had been right, he was extremely impatient.

"Uchiha…" Gaara said, his voice strained, "if you don't hurry up… I swear, I will tackle you down on this bed."

"Oh, really." Sasuke smirked and sat up straight, his eyebrows raised. "And then what will you do to me?"

Gaara did a mental double take. "What?"

"You heard me." Sasuke bit at his ear, and his voice changed to a husky whisper that went straight to the area in between Gaara's legs. "What will you do to me, Kazekage-sama… when you have me beneath you?"

There was almost an audible click as Gaara finally understood; Sasuke wanted him to TALK DIRTY. Gaara's mouth went dry. How on earth was he supposed to do THAT?!

"I…" _Come on, think! I have to learn how to do this! Just say something!_ Gaara fought down his blush and tried to mimic the low, seductive whisper Sasuke had just pulled on him.

"I will make you forget everything. Where you are, who you are, how to breathe… everything but my body moving inside you and the pleasure rushing through your body…"

Sasuke's breath came out in an almost inaudible moan and his eyes slowly shut. Gaara took that as a good sign and continued his whispering, slowly crawling his hands down Sasuke's sides as he spoke.

"I'll have you gasping and squirming and moaning my name, begging for more as the sweat runs down our bodies and our hips move together in a perfect rhythm…" As he talked, his hands slipped into the waistband of Sasuke's boxers and began sliding them down his legs; Sasuke didn't protest, but his breathing got quicker and higher as his erection was fully revealed. Gaara took one quick look, and he felt a number of brain cells spark and shut down.

"Sasuke…" Gaara kissed his neck as he slid out of his boxers as well, and he held him just a little bit closer. Both boys gasped as their erections brushed; Sasuke grabbed Gaara's shoulders tightly and began trembling violently.

"Gaara, please…"

"I'm going to give you more pleasure than you ever thought you could receive," Gaara murmured, slowly lowering Sasuke flat on the mattress. "I will make it so that whenever you hear my name, you think back to tonight and you remember how you cried out that same name as I made love to you. You'll feel so much tonight that you will beg for your release, beg for me to make you cum…"

Gaara slid in between Sasuke's parted thighs and breathed his last words against the burning skin of the Uchiha's cheek.

"…And when you finally do, when we've reached the highest point of pleasure and stop holding it back… you will scream for me, scream so loud that the earth stands still and even the stars can hear us."

Sasuke leaned his head back and sighed slowly; his black eyes were slit open, and the little that was visible was glazed over with lust.

"Did that answer your question?" Gaara asked, kissing his cheek. Sasuke's teeth clenched.

"G-Gaara, you… you are the most dangerous person I've ever met," he gasped, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"I guess that's saying something," Gaara mumbled, feeling a little proud of himself. "But, regardless of how dangerous I am…" He traced his index finger up the side of Sasuke's length, forcing a tortured moan out of his mouth. "…Are you ready for this?"

Sasuke didn't answer right away. His eyes roved over his lover's face and body, everything that he had dreamed about for years on end. But this wasn't a dream, this was reality. He was really giving his body and virginity to the boy hovering over him, but oddly enough… he felt no more fear.

"Yes," Sasuke said. Then, realizing that he now had a standard to meet, he added in a soft gasp, "…Take me, Gaara-sama."

Time seemed to stand still. Gaara took the aforementioned index finger and ran his tongue over it, slicking it with his saliva. The fingertip then moved down and gently massaged Sasuke's opening, bringing forth all kinds of sounds that served only to feed the fire of Gaara's need.

"G-Gaara—aahh…" Gaara's finger gently pushed inside, and Sasuke lost the ability to talk. His soft moans became constant as the finger thrust and probed, stretching him bit by bit. Then, all of a sudden, Sasuke's moans escalated into one sharp cry; Gaara's finger had discovered his sweet spot.

"Aah, Gaara--!" He dug his nails into Gaara's hair as another finger was added. This time the Kazekage pushed both fingers roughly forward, slamming them against his prostate. Sasuke moaned loudly, his grip on Gaara's hair tightening.

"Do you like this? …Sasuke?" Gaara asked softly. Sasuke whimpered and nodded, but Gaara wasn't letting him off that easily. His lips turned up in a slight smirk; he was getting quite into the whole teasing thing.

"Tell me, Sasuke," he pleaded, flicking his tongue over his cheek. "Tell me that you like this."

"Aahh… ah, yes," Sasuke choked out, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Yes, I-I like it, I like—aah… Gaara…"

Gaara kissed his parted lips softly, distracting him as a third finger was added. He scissored his fingers, stretching Sasuke as much as he could without causing him outright pain. He could tell that Sasuke was almost ready; his formerly limp body was tense and trembling and he unconsciously rocked his hips forward, pushing Gaara's fingers even deeper into his hole. In any case, Gaara couldn't hold himself back much longer. His own neglected erection was aching, waiting to take up the space his fingers were currently occupying and follow through with all the promises he had made earlier.

With one last stroke against his prostate, Gaara slowly pulled his fingers out of him. Sasuke cracked an eye open; his breathing was heavy, and his body was glazed with a thin layer of sweat.

"Gaara… I…" Sasuke gasped, trying to put together a coherent sentence. He knew that they were getting to the main event, but he needed something, something important. He couldn't find a way to get the words out, though.

"Gaara… I… I want you to…" He clenched his teeth in frustration. Gaara sighed and pressed his lips to his shoulder.

"Talk to me, Sasuke… I'll do anything you ask me to."

There was silence as Gaara waited, but Sasuke never replied. The redhead sighed again and repositioned himself, placing the tip of his erection in front of Sasuke's opening. Sasuke saw this and panicked.

"Wait!"

Gaara looked up, confusion in his eyes. Sasuke desperately wanted to pull his bangs over his face at this moment as shame washed over him.

"Gaara, please… h-hold my hand…"

Gaara blinked, then smiled softly. Sasuke, however, automatically took it the wrong way and felt even worse.

"Yeah, yeah, okay… I'm like a pathetic little two year old," Sasuke snorted, glaring at a nearby wall. "I get it, okay--?"

Gaara slipped his right hand into Sasuke's left and squeezed, threading their fingers together. Sasuke forgot his annoyance at once, and ran his thumb over the back of Gaara's hand.

"Thank you," he whispered, relieved, but part of him hoped that Gaara had somehow missed his words.

Gaara's smile faded as he readied himself, his free hand pressed into the mattress to support his weight. "Sasuke… are you ready?" he asked again, his eyes flicking up to Sasuke's. The Uchiha tensed and nodded, his grip on Gaara's hand noticeably tightening. Gaara couldn't help but smirk.

"Alright then…" And with one last steadying breath, Gaara slowly pushed into him. Sasuke hissed slightly, his nails digging into Gaara's skin. There was quite a difference between Gaara's cock and three slim fingers.

"Oh, fuck," ha gasped as Gaara fully sheathed himself inside him, stopping to let him adjust to the foreign feeling. Hell, this was so new to both of them that Gaara was probably pausing for himself as well.

"Gaara, please," Sasuke pleaded as his legs wrapped firmly around Gaara's waist. Gaara didn't need to ask what he wanted. His hips began moving in a slow, controlled rhythm. Sasuke grimaced slightly.

"Gaara, you can… move faster…" he forced out, giving him a glare that made the redhead's heart melt. "I'm not—nngh—a china doll… A little pain won't… break me."

Gaara was happy to obey. His next thrust was hard and deep, and Sasuke cried out as his sweet spot was hit again.

"Fuck! That… that was perfect!"

Gaara grinned and began thrusting in with gradually increasing speed and force. The room became a whirlwind of feelings, color, sounds, and heat, and not for the first time that night Sasuke found words just beyond his grasp. As much as he would hate to admit it later, he was helpless beneath the Kazekage, entranced by the raw energy of the moment, pushing his hips forward weakly in an attempt to keep up with him. His right hand left Gaara's hair and scratched down his back, leaving long, red welts running down his ivory skin.

"Gaara," he gasped, a bead of water managing to escape from a barely open eye. "Oh Gaara… oh my God… I think I'm melting…"

Gaara didn't bother answering; he doubted that his reply would make any sense, or that Sasuke would even hear him. He pressed his lips to Sasuke's throat as his hand wandered southward and snaked around Sasuke's weeping erection. The older boy threw his head back as a sharp cry ripped out of his throat and echoed around the candlelit room.

"Ohh, Gaara--!! Ahh, don't stop, don't—"

The Kazekage's eyes closed as he took in all the sounds escaping from his lover's bruised, parted lips. Especially those high-pitched gasps… who would have thought the Uchiha could make a sound like that? Fueled by his ever-growing lust Gaara continued to abuse Sasuke's sweet spot, his hand pumping Sasuke's shaft in time with his thrusts.

Sasuke was practically sobbing by now. His end was dreadfully close, he could feel it, but this wasn't enough. He craved… no, he needed more, but how much more could he possibly take in? His fingers ran across Gaara's shoulder blades, sliding through the slick sweat that coated the redhead's body and dripped down onto his own.

"Gaara…" Oh God, he was beginning to see stars. He was slowly losing control of all his senses as his body was overloaded; Gaara's hand pumping his cock, his ragged breathing against his neck, his shaft deep inside of him, making them as close as they could ever physically be… Tears spilled out of his onyx eyes as he struggled to warn Gaara of the fast-approaching explosion.

"Gaara… I'm going to cu—aah—I'm going to-to-to—ahh, _Gaara_…!!"

Gaara leaned down and kissed Sasuke hungrily, swallowing the rest of his words. Sasuke tasted blood, but he didn't know whose, nor did he care. He didn't care about hardly anything anymore.

"Sasuke…" Gaara whispered against his bruised lips, his voice questioning.

"Y-y-yes?" Sasuke moaned, his words almost unrecognizable as he struggled to hold himself back.

Gaara couldn't help but smirk slightly as his mouth moved to breathe into his ear…

"Scream for me, Sasuke."

That was the final push. With one lest harsh rub on his shaft, Sasuke came in Gaara's hand and did just that. He screamed, an arched-back, head thrown back, passionate scream that ripped straight into Gaara's heart.

It was just about the sexiest thing that Gaara had ever seen.

Sasuke's inner walls clamped down around Gaara, and after one last desperate thrust he spilled himself inside of Sasuke, crying out his name as he came. His muscles immediately seemed to morph into jelly; he barely had time to completely pull out of Sasuke before collapsing on top of him, gasping for air and trembling dangerously. Sasuke didn't seem much better off himself; he'd lost the battle to keep his eyes open, and his heart beat a rapid rhythm against the Kazekage's ear.

"S-Sa-Sasuke?" Gaara asked shakily, moving so that his whole weight wasn't resting on the elder boy.

"Don't talk for a moment," Sasuke said sharply. Gaara blinked, feeling slightly hurt.

"Just… hang on…" The Uchiha squeezed their still interlocked hands, and a truly happy smile crawled onto his face. "I want to memorize everything… so that when I'm… alone at night… I can close my eyes and relive this moment…"

Gaara breathed out a small sigh of relief and pillowed his head on Sasuke's shoulder. "You can be sure… that I will be doing the same…"

Sasuke released Gaara's hand to hug him tightly, burying his head against his neck. "That's reassuring… I can't even imagine what I would do if you were dreaming of someone other than me. Especially after tonight…"

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "Never."

Sasuke smirked slightly and kissed his neck, loosening his hold so that he was no longer suffocating Gaara against his chest. Gaara breathed out deeply and cuddled against Sasuke's side, his eyes closing and his hand resting limply on Sasuke's chest. Sasuke's cheeks flared; would there ever be a time when just looking at Gaara failed to take his breath away?

"Gaara," Sasuke murmured, running a finger over the black smudges that were his lover's eyes. "I love you, so damn much… You are the only person I've ever wanted… and until the day I die, you will be the only one that occupies this space in my arms."

Gaara's eyes opened, and he wore that small smile that he knew infuriated the Uchiha. "Are you… making a vow to me?"

Sasuke scowled, his romantic mood abruptly ruined. "Maybe. You already know I don't need to make any vows, though. I've already given myself to you… in the most literal sense of the term."

Gaara propped himself up on his elbows, his expression deathly serious as he looked Sasuke square in the eye. Sasuke flushed, and once again he felt like the helpless uke under his piercing gaze.

"Sasuke, I promise that you will be the only person I love, the only person I hold, until my last breath leaves my body. I will never use you, be with another, or do anything to betray the trust you have with me. Believe me, Sasuke… I love you, and no matter how much the world around us changes, my feelings will forever stay the same."

Taking one last look at Sasuke's pink-tinted face, Gaara shut his eyes and kissed his lips, silently sealing their spoken contract.

With any other story, this might have been the happy ending, but little did the young lovers know that their troubles were just beginning. For as their relationship burned brighter and stronger than ever before, another was beginning to fall apart at the seams…

**(AN: Was that good enough for you pervs out there? It's hard to write a good lemon, but at least it's not one of those one-paragraphers. Anyways, after this the plot is gonna become… well, a little less innocent than it was before, I guess. And I'll start to incorporate more KankuKiba into the story, cause God knows it's one of the sexiest pairings ever. Reviews are luff… and all that crap…)**


	9. 20 Questions Fag Edition

**(AN: Yosh, finally, an UPDATE!! ZOMG WTF STFU RANDOM CHTSPEAK HERE!!1! Anyways, I wanna thank all the lovelies that left reviews while I was off traveling… Every review I get feels like a blessing, so thank you very much. Anyways, Kiba's getting a bigger part from now on… I like writing Kiba. He's just too fun. It's Gaara that pisses me off to write. But anyways. No more talking. Story time!)**

**Pairings: GaaSasu, KankuKiba, NaruSaku later, and OMG one-sided Kiba??**

**Disclaimer: Made in Japan**

**Chapter Nine: 20 Questions (Fag Edition)**

**(Sasuke POV)**

_Knock knock knock._

I raised my head weakly and automatically looked at the clock. 2:23 am. Who in their right mind was knocking on doors at this hour? Snorting irritably, I curled back up against Gaara's warm body and tried to return to my former state of peaceful bliss.

_Knock knock knock. Knock knock. Bang bang!_

What the crap.

Unwillingly, I slid out of bed and stretched, cracking my knuckles. Whoever was at the door was getting a thorough beat-down for making me leave my small piece of heaven.

A small noise from the bed interrupted my less-than-friendly thoughts.

"Mnn, Sasuke… come back to bed…"

My heart seemed to bleed for him. I desperately wanted to crawl back under the covers and hold him close, but…

_Bang!! Bang!!_

"There's someone at the door, and if I don't go now the door's in danger of dying," I sighed, and I began to leave the bedroom.

"Nnh, wait… boxers."

"Um, what?"

"Boxers… put some on…"

It was then that I realized I was still naked. I felt myself glow scarlet as I imagined what might have happened if Gaara hadn't stopped me.

"Ah… thanks."

I stumbled around the now dark room until I found my boxers on the floor (or they might have been his, I didn't know or care). Before leaving, I kneeled beside Gaara and pressed my lips to his cheek.

"Gaaaara," I said in an uncharacteristic sing-song voice. Damn, I was in a good mood. "Would you prefer it if I stayed here and let you treat me like a teddy bear? Hmm?"

Gaara sighed softly, as if the idea really did appeal to him. "It would be extremely rude to leave someone waiting by the door."

I rolled my eyes, but I doubted he saw. "I could care less. You're my first priority."

"Then I'd rather you left."

"Ouch." I smiled and kissed his lips before standing up and turning to leave the bedroom. "Good thing I know that's not true."

By the time I got to the door the knocks had raised to an almost deafening volume, beating an odd rhythm into my head that I knew would take days to get rid of. I opened the door, and my eyebrows immediately flew up.

"Kiba--? Why aren't you in your kennel? Don't bother me, I don't have food."

To my surprise, Kiba ignored all of my jabs. He stared at the ceiling, sighed deeply, shoved his hands into his pockets… huh? I noticed for the first time that he was wearing regular black pants. A regular shirt, too, even with a sweatshirt on over that. Not things you usually spent the night wearing. What was he up to?

"Look, Uchiha… can I come in?" he asked quickly, as if the words would burn him if he kept them on his tongue too long.

My eloquent response: "Uh… sure?"

Kiba didn't need to be told twice; he bounced over the threshold, his bag swinging dangerously on his shoulder. Bag? Another bad sign, but I decided not to ask until he said something himself.

"Thanks, dude. You're a lifesaver. Well, not really, but you saved me from actually having to sleep in a kennel." He threw himself onto the couch and gave me an offended glare. I didn't even pretend to look sorry.

"Kiba, why are you here?" Oops, I forgot that I wasn't going to ask. "And could you have picked a better time?"

Kiba cocked an eyebrow. "Why? Did I catch you with your boxers down?"

"What? No!" I sputtered, but my face said otherwise. "But you can't call half past two in the morning a GOOD time—"

"Spare me the lecture, GRANDMA," Kiba snorted, but his eyes lit up devilishly as he looked me over. "But seriously, did you do the nasty? Did you?"

My mouth dropped open. "You and your assumptions, Inuzuka," I growled. "Just because YOU'RE not a virgin—"

The brunette jumped up and bounced over to me. He leaned over and pressed his nose to my neck, sniffing deeply. My cheeks burned scarlet at the contact. Why was he…?

"Kiba, back off—"

"Yup." Kiba pulled away and grinned. "No point denying it, Uchiha; the scent of sex is all over you. There's nothing wrong with that," he added as I damn near had a heart attack. "In fact, I'm happy for you, Gaara too. It makes it worth it."

His last sentence was barely audible, and I couldn't make any sense out of it.

"Quiz time!" Kiba suddenly yelled, making me twitch. He sounded very much like one of my old academy teachers.

"What? You can't be serious—"

"Who was uke?"

_THAT BITCH!!_

"I'll answer that when you tell me why you're here," I shot back, cold and sharp as a winter storm. "I think I have a right to know why I'm accommodating someone for any amount of time. What's with your clothes, and your bag? If you've murdered someone--"

"No, no, nothing like that." Kiba scowled at the floor and clenched a hand in his hair, contemplating in silence for about a minute.

"Me and Kankuro got in a fight."

Now that caught my interest. "Really? Did you pee on the carpet?"

"Oh, ha ha," Kiba sighed, looking completely depressed. He flopped back down on the couch and held his head in his hands. I sat down next to him, keeping about a foot and a half between us in case his temper made him lash out at something. Who knows, maybe he was still out to get me for punching him in the face.

"Yeah, we got in a fight. A big one, too. It really sucked; I finally stormed out of the room and told him he had tonight to cool his head, and if he still wasn't over it then he shouldn't bother looking for me in the morning." He laughed bitterly. "Usually I don't do that, you know? No matter what I'm always his good little bitch, and we solve our problems without resorting to weapons of mass destruction. But he's being SO incredibly stupid…" His voice trailed off into a series of low grumbles and mumbles.

"What did you fight about?" I asked. To be honest I really wasn't interested, but ranting seemed to make him feel better, and lord knows "depressed" didn't suit him.

Kiba threw me a sidelong glance. "Well, now that you mention it… it was kinda about you."

I choked on a jagged piece of oxygen. "What?! ME?!"

"Well, it was also kinda about Gaara…"

Understanding sank in. "He's mad about 'us'? So we become lovers and he takes it out on you? That's idiotic."

"…and kinda about the fact that, in a way, I helped you two get together."

The silence that followed was completely awkward. I shuffled uneasily in my seat; what could you SAY to that? I felt like I had just walked in on something private, that I should have never stuck my nose into.

"Ah."

"Yeah."

I glanced toward the bedroom door, and hoped desperately that Gaara had fallen back to sleep.

"Why does Kankuro hate me?" I asked warily. I thought I kind of knew the answer, but I wanted confirmation from one of the few people that would know for sure. Kiba shot me a look, like he thought I was completely oblivious.

"Because you left."

An awful, cold, hollow feeling grew in my stomach, and I felt my temper begin to rise. So Gaara's brother hated me for deserting Konoha all those years ago? That bastard! What did it matter to him? Did he even know how guilty I still felt for doing that?

"Oh yeah?" I asked, unnecessarily loud. Kiba's eyes flicked up and shot me a sharp glance.

"Hey, Uchiha, before your overly-large head explodes… when you left… well, Gaara wasn't completely right for a while. He would put on a brave face, but Kankuro said he would hear him at night…"

My breath caught; my heart was writhing in pain and refused to beat. I pictured Gaara, back when he was unable to sleep, spending endless nights thinking… in pain…

Exactly how I had felt, only thousands of times worse.

"But… I'm back now," I hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm back now… Gaara said he forgave me… and I've sworn never to hurt him, ever again. Gaara's happy, we're all happy."

"And you seriously think that Kankuro's gonna believe that?" Kiba rolled his eyes again. "By the time two years had passed and no one had heard anything from you, Kankuro was HAPPY. 'Gaara still has feelings for that brat, but he's tough, he's living without him,' he said. 'Give it a couple more years, and it will be as if Uchiha never existed, and we can pretend none of this ever happened. Gaara won't be hurting anymore.'"

I snorted. "But then I showed up on your doorstep, right?"

"Yup." Kiba pulled his legs up under him and grinned. "When he saw you, he wanted to rip your head clean off! Ha ha ha!"

My eyes narrowed. "I don't think that's funny."

"You're right, sorry. But anyways, this is Kankuro's reasoning: You left once, you can sure as hell leave us again. Scenario replays, but this time Gaara may never heal. Get it? Oh, and he thinks you're just gonna use Gaara for your own purposes, so that you can have some influence over the decisions made in Suna and your village is safe from attack from theirs."

Stunned silence. Kankuro had really thought this through. It would make perfect sense… except for the fact that I really did love Gaara. Why did he refuse to see that?

"You're right," I mumbled angrily. "Kankuro is incredibly stupid—"

_WHACK!!_

I jumped back as if struck, which made perfect sense, seeing as Kiba had just back-hand slapped me. His expression had changed dramatically; pure anger radiated from every feature, from his shaking shoulders to his deep, ragged breathing.

"What's you prob—"

"Don't you ever call him stupid!" he roared, making my brain rattle in my head. "Don't even think it!"

"What? But—you called him stupid yourself!"

I didn't mean it, I was just mad!"

"Well, what if I'm mad, too?"

"You're still not aloud to say anything, chicken-butt head," he sneered. My eyelid twitched.

"You've picked a fight with the wrong person," I growled, cracking my knuckles, but a moment later something stopped me.

His eyes…

"Just… just shut up about him," Kiba mumbled, swiping a hand across his eyes. "You bitch about people not understanding you, but you don't even try to understand them."

"Kiba—" But my mouth snapped close. Once again, Kiba had shoved the painful truth into my face, and there was no way to respond without looking like a complete fool. When HAD I ever tried to understand one of my friends? Even with Gaara… before I had finally confessed my feeling about him, it was almost always about me; MY feelings, MY desires, MY belief that I was the only one who understood what I was experiencing. Gaara, and now Kiba, were living proof that I was completely wrong. I bit my lip.

I was changing, but I still had so far to go.

"Alright… I won't call him stupid, okay?" I said, holding up my hands to show him my un-crossed fingers. The corners of Kiba's mouth twitched slightly.

"Well, now that you know my less-than-happy situation…" Kiba's lips curled back, as if the words tasted bad. "Can I spend the night here?"

I almost instinctively told him no, but I bit my tongue. _Understanding. Put yourself in his shoes. God, what a pain in the ass._

I compromised. "Only if you answer one more thing."

"What is this? 20 Questions, fag edition?" Kiba asked, folding his arms. I cringed at the word "fag".

"Just answer this."

"Say 'bitch please'."

"Then get the hell out of my room."

Kiba frowned, disliking the possibility of being kicked out into the hallway. "Fine. Shoot."

"Well…" I shifted my feet, feeling awkward. "Why are you sticking up for me? Why do you want me and Gaara together so badly?"

Kiba's frown immediately flipped into a grin. "Oh, that's easy: to make Kankuro happy."

My eyebrows almost escaped from my face. "Um… I don't get it."

"I seem to be the only one that does," he sighed. "But just wait, you'll see what I mean."

"Hmm…" I stood up and stretched, completely convinced that the dog-nin had lost his marbles. Kiba stood up as well, stifling a yawn behind his hand.

"Well, Uchiha, this was a nice little heart-to-heart talk, but I'm ready to sleep. Is there a free bed, or am I stuck on the carpet?" he added, his eyes shining.

I rolled my eyes. "My bed is open. You can have that one."

"Sweet."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, and opened the bedroom door. "Turn off the lights in this room before coming in," I ordered to buy me a little time. Kiba cocked an eyebrow, but his smirk was a little too understanding as he went to do what he was told.

Once inside the bedroom, I hid any further evidence of our… activities earlier in the night. Discarded clothes were packed away, as were the burned out candles. After that there was nothing left to delay me, so I took a deep breath and looked at Gaara's sleeping form.

As expected, a wave of pain crashed over me; how could I feel nothing after the things Kiba had told me? I gently pulled the sheets up to cover him from his stomach down, and brushed a hand across his cheek.

"Gaara," I said softly, "I still don't understand why you fell in love with me…"

At the sound of my voice Gaara turned slightly, and his eyes cracked open. "Hmm? Sasuke?"

I blushed, and I was glad that it was dark. "Oh, nothing. Um… Kiba's going to be staying here tonight. He and Kankuro had a disagreement… he'll be using my bed, so it might not be wise to… sit up straight or anything…"

My sentence trailed off pathetically. Gaara let out a small noise and, despite my warning, crawled forward until the covers slipped off of him and he was right next to me. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, his head pressed softly to my chest. I could feel his soft, slightly damp skin against my skin.

"Gaara, Kiba's coming," I reminded him, but he made no move to re-cover himself. His lips pressed against my chest, and I gave in; I slipped onto the bed next to him and made him lie down, and I pulled the covers over us both. He sighed in satisfaction and snuggled as close to me as he could get.

"Sasuke… if I answer your question…"

My eyes snapped open. Gaara was looking up at me, his green eyes shining even though there was almost no light in the room. The look he gave me was so gentle and caring… and I felt like the most undeserving person on earth.

"If I told you why I fell in love with you… you wouldn't believe me." My face lit up in a rush of heat, but he either missed it or ignored it for my benefit. "You have an extremely low self-image, even lower than mine."

I scowled and looked away. Gaara sighed.

"You are… an extremely beautiful person, on the inside and on the out, though that last part matters very much. I just don't know any other way to say it. Either accept that fact… or don't."

I groaned wearily and ran a hand softly through his hair; weariness seemed to be flooding my body, and I longed fro nothing more than to curl up against him and drift into comforting nothingness. "Fine… I'll take your word for it."

Gaara twitched. "That's new."

"What?"

"You agreeing with me." His lips fumbled across my jaw until they were able to locate my lips and press softly against them.

"Crazy things happen…" I whispered against his soft skin. I felt his lips turn up in a small smile.

"Indeed, they do." The tip of his tongue traced the shape of my bottom lip, sending a shiver of excitement down my spine.

"Nnngh, Gaara… stop," I said weakly, but my vibrating body said otherwise. This time, though, he seemed to hear my words.

"Oh, I forgot," he murmured, pulling back. "Did you say Kiba was spending the night here?"

As if on cue, the door burst open; I quickly made sure that Gaara was still covered. "You two done playing yet?" Kiba asked as he bounded into the room (now decked out in boxers and a T-shirt with some obscure band's logo). "Hmm, apparently not," he observed, his eyes looking over whatever scene lay before him. "Oh well. I'm comin' in!"

The door snapped close ominously as he tossed his bag into the corner and jumped into my unused bed. Almost the second he was under the covers and his head hit the pillow, he was out.

"…That was fast," I muttered, relieved.

Gaara glanced at his motionless form, looking slightly worried. "he might be faking… If he got in a fight with Kankuro and had to leave his room, I doubt that he would fall to sleep so quickly."

My stomach clenched guiltily; how was I supposed to tell Gaara that all of this was partly our fault?

"Hmm…" Gaara turned back to me, and seemed to freeze. "Sasuke? Are you okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah, of course. I… I guess I'm a little concerned about Kiba…"

From the other side of the room, I heard a disbelieving snort. Damn, Gaara was always right. Gaara laughed softly, as if he had read my mind.

"Mmm… it's three in the morning, Sas." Gaara yawned and hugged me tight, his head pressed to my collarbone. "Should I say 'goodnight' or 'good morning'?"

I smirked. "'Goodnight' will suffice."

"Then… goodnight, Sasuke." His voice was barely a whisper, and his warm lips pressed to my neck after my name slipped out of his mouth so lovingly.

"Goodnight… my Gaara." I stroked his bare thigh and hummed softly, a slow song that I knew he liked. His muscles relaxed, and his breathing slowed to an even pace. It was only then that I finally let sleep overtake me.

"Gaara…" I breathed, my eyes fluttering close. "My Gaara… I…"

But sleep stole my speech and, a second afterward, my consciousness.

My dreams would make me wish I had fought of sleep, at least for a while longer.

--

(Kiba POV)

4:00 am. I was never going to get any sleep, that was for sure.

I rolled over restlessly, trying my hardest not to think of the warm body that should have been lying next to me. I could almost imagine what he would say if he could see me now.

"_Jeez, Kiba, do you have a stick up your ass? Well, if you have so much energy at this time of night—"_

My fangs broke the skin on my lower lip. Damn it!

I leapt up and paced restlessly. This was SO not good. How long would this go on? Which one of us would break first? Kankuro was impatient, just like me, but I had a feeling he wasn't pacing around his room quite like I was.

And that wasn't the only problem.

"Nnngh…"

I froze at the sound of his voice. I stepped quietly to the edge of the other bed and stared at him unashamedly; why not? There was no one here to throw me a disapproving or disgusted look, no one awake at least. I watched him twitch in his sleep, his eyelids squeezing shut, his arms tightening around his boyfriend.

_His boyfriend. The one you helped him get with. Jeez, no wonder Kankuro thinks you don't really love him._

"Shut up," I told my inner voice, scowling. "I do love Kankuro… but there's nothing wrong with a little healthy lust."

_Idiot_, the voice replied. I grinned, happy that the voice had finally caught on.

"Yes, I am an idiot…" I sighed and leaned over slightly, leaned right over him. God, what was I doing?

"I'm sorry…" I murmured, leaning closer. "I didn't tell the complete truth… You see, it wasn't just Kankuro that I wanted happy…"

I shut my eyes, and pressed my lips to Sasuke's cheek.

"Nnh, Gaara…"

I pulled back swiftly, an irrational pain tugging at my heart. I quickly retreated to my own bed (_Sasuke's bed,_ I thought with a shudder) and held my head in my hands.

"Stupid, STUPID," I scolded myself, but really I didn't regret it. His skin was softer than Kankuro's, but Kankuro's scent was more appealing. Not quite as bittersweet.

I groaned and flopped onto my back, staring blankly at the ceiling. Things were so complicated… When had all this chaos begun? When exactly had things started flying so completely out of my control?

The answer was easy; three years ago, the day Sasuke left Konoha.

**(AN: Cue flashback time! I just hope you guys can stand it… I have fun writing flashbacks… but I know people hate reading them… Oh well, bite me.)**


	10. WARNING: Flashbacks Ahead

**(AN: Yes, Kiba's flashbacks… I know you are all jumping around in your seats for this… NOT. But here it is. Yeah.)**

**Disclaimer: Can somebody explain to me why we need a disclaimer on every chapter?**

**Chapter Ten: WARNING: Flashbacks Ahead**

**(Kiba POV)**

By the age of twelve, I was obsessed with beautiful people. My life centered around locating a gorgeous person, lusting after them for a few weeks, then repeating the process.

Ino was, by far, the hottest girl I'd ever met. With her long blonde hair, baby blue eyes, and perfect figure, she was like a pre-teen version of the strippers in my magazines back home. Of course, her looks were marred by her bratty attitude. Sakura wasn't too bad, but she was definitely lacking in the chest area. Hinata was pretty in her own shy, boy-haircut, baggy-sweatshirt way, but we were too close for me to think of her "that way". That was like getting horny off my sister.

But no matter what girl I looked at, none of them even came close to beating Sasuke in the looks department. He had all the girls (and even some of the guys) in our class crushing on him, and I couldn't blame them. Of course, the boy had no idea of the effect he had on his surroundings; he was too wrapped up in his own little world. In a way, it made him even sexier. I saw him as a challenge, as a puzzle I needed to solve. I wanted to be the one person that this gorgeous fallen angel opened up to, maybe even smiled at. I imagined what it would feel like to kiss his soft-looking lips, to touch his chest, to take him home and pull him into bed and—

Yeah, so I was your average twelve-year-old boy. My world consisted only of pretty people; nobody else got a second thought or glance.

Then Kankuro showed up.

Kankuro… he wasn't pretty, to say the least. When I'd first seen him with his brother and sister, I was sure that he was a defect. I mean, his brother was extremely attractive (if not a little creepy), and the same went for his sister (and she had a totally badass personality).

I didn't even know how to describe Kankuro. His nose was slightly large, and it wouldn't have hurt him to lose a pound or ten. His eyes were narrow, slanted, and dark green, and had a harsh glint in them at all times. He always wore that purple face paint and his cat-eared hood, but from the one time I managed to catch him without the hat I saw that his hair was short and spiky and a light shade of brown. Completely ordinary. Almost boring, even.

And yet, I was fascinated by him.

I noticed things about him that I really shouldn't have. For example, the fact that he was always covering himself in some way. His baggy clothes, his hood, his face paint… did it all mean something? Did he know how plain he looked, and was he ashamed by it? As soon as I thought that, I felt horrible for my negative thinking about hgis appearance. Right then, at the first twinge of guilt, I knew something was up. It wasn't lust, like the way I lusted after Sasuke, but it was definitely something more than what it should have been.

Months later, I finally plucked up the courage to talk to him. I'd waited so long because I was actually afraid; rumors had been going around that he hated children, and "children" consisted of everyone more than a month younger than him. But I finally did it; the war between Suna and Konoha had recently ended, so he should be friendly enough, I reasoned.

Things didn't exactly go according to plan; our first conversation ended with him pouring his drink on my head and calling me every swear word under the sun, but I was determined. Finally, things began to progress a little smoother. It got to the point where we talked every time he visited Konoha with his siblings, sometimes just spending the whole day hanging out, talking about sports and missions and anything we could think of. We didn't mind embarrassing ourselves; he told me that his brother used to make him piss the bed out of fear. I told him my sister STILL made me piss the bed.

All of a sudden, the ordinary teenager wasn't ordinary anymore.

Out of my periph, I noticed Sasuke growing closer to Kankuro's brother, but the jealousy I felt was surprisingly small. My world had changed in a matter of months, the focus moving from Sasuke and onto the most unlikely person in the world. When he was gone, my heart ached for him. When he was there, my skin longed to be touched by him. I couldn't be satisfied with looking at him or even dreaming about him (which I did well and often). I wouldn't be truly satisfied until I was in his arms.

By age thirteen, I was unquestionably in love with Sabaku no Kankuro.

--

I leaned back against the tree, breathing heavily and clutching my stomach. Kankuro noticed; he looked up from examining Sakon and Ukon's corpse and immediately ran forward.

"Holy shit, you're bleeding all over the place!"

"Way to state the obvious, loser," I growled, wincing. Stabbing myself in the stomach to get Ukon out of my body had seemed like a smart, even brave, thing to do at the time. Only now that I was about to faint from blood loss did I realize that it wasn't quite as brilliant as I had thought.

"Jesus, kid. Did that creep get you?"

I smiled proudly. "No, I did it myself."

Kankuro looked disapproving, but said nothing. He'd learned by now not to question my crazy antics.

"All right, just sit still a moment."

I cocked an eyebrow as he began riffling through a small pouch hooked onto his leg. "Um, why?"

Kankuro didn't answer, but he set a roll of bandages, a needle and thread, and a small bottle of alcohol on the grass beside me. My breath caught.

"Nu uh. No way."

"Yes way," Kankuro said as he pulled out another bottle filled with medicine. "Or would you rather bleed to death?"

"I don't want you stitching me up! Do you even know anything about healing?"

"I know the basics." Kankuro snapped his pouch close and grabbed my shoulders. I felt my cheeks grow warm.

"Look, kid, I know you think you're really tough and all, but you aren't going far with that injury. So either I fix you up quickly, or I play babysitter and make even slower progress. You DO want to stop Uchiha from leaving, don't you?"

His words were like a kick between the legs, because one, he was making sense, and two, I did want to help Sasuke, I really did. I nodded quickly.

"Good, finally showing some sense," Kankuro muttered, releasing my shoulders. It took all of my self control to keep from touching the places his hands had been.

"Okay," he said, cracking his knuckled. "Take off your shirt."

I choked. "WHAT?!"

"Take… off… your… shirt! What's your problem? You aren't secretly a girl, are you?"

"Ha! You wish." God, I was going mad. If I didn't take off my shirt, he would get suspicious… and it wouldn't take long for him to realize how I really felt about him.

Slowly, I undid the buckles across my shoulders and slid out of my mesh shirt. Kankuro didn't even look at my chest or anything; his eyes were fixed only on the slash in my stomach. A hollow feeling formed in my chest. _He's not interested in me. I'm just some annoying kid._

I had to quickly stifle a yelp as alcohol was poured on the wound. "Fuck! You're just making it worse!"

"Oh, shut up, dog boy, and keep still." He checked to make sure that the wound was clean before picking up the needle and thread. I glanced at it warily.

"Are you sure you can do this?"

"I told you to shut up," he growled, sounding as tense as I felt. "I think I'm pretty good with my hands; I have to be to do what I do. The only thing that'll screw me up is if you keep twitching all over the place!"

I obediently shut my mouth; something told me that a smart remark right now would hurt me a lot more than it hurt him. Still, I didn't like needles. They reminded me of shots, which were the spawn of Satan.

"So, um…" I started lamely, trying to distract myself from the sliver of metal piercing into my skin. "How did you, Gaara, and Temari come to be the ones Suna sent to help bring Sasuke back?"

Kankuro shot a guarded look at me, and hesitated before answering.

"…Gaara volunteered to go, and of course he wasn't travelling to Konoha without me and Temari."

I blinked. Gaara volunteered? Well, I knew that he and Sasuke were friends, but I didn't know that Gaara cared about him that much. I mean, they spent most of their time together arguing over EVERYTHING.

"Ah, okay… so… why did Gaara volunteer?" I asked casually. Kankuro stopped what he was doing long enough to look at me disbelievingly.

"Are you blind, kid? You've seen them together, haven't you? Haven't you seen the way Gaara looks at Uchiha?"

To be honest, I hadn't, but that wasn't important to me right then. So Gaara liked Sasuke "that way". How come I'd never considered that possibility?

Then another blow hit me; what if Sasuke liked Gaara "that way" too?

"I really hope that we can stop Uchiha," Kankuro continued in a low voice, his attention moving back down to my stomach. "Gaara hasn't told me anything, which makes me think that he must be really crazy about that kid. If Uchiha really gets away… Gaara's already hurt as it is, but I don't want to even think about what would happen to him if Uchiha was gone."

I nodded slowly, wondering why Kankuro was telling me all of this. "And you're sure that Gaara…?"

"Yup. I just said, if you'd seen the way he looks at Uchiha, you would know it too." Kankuro sat up straight and brushed his hands on his shirt. I looked down and gasped; the slash was perfectly stitched together, and I hadn't felt a thing. "Pretty good with his hands" was definitely and understatement.

"Wow," I said. "I'm so sorry for doubting you earlier. You're awesome—"

"It's the exact same way that I look at you."

I blinked and looked up; his expression was uncharacteristically serious.

"Um, excuse me?" The harsh look in his eyes was gone, replaced with something that I couldn't understand. It completely threw me off my train of thought.

"Are you all right?" I asked, laughing shakily. "Dude, you're freaking me out. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Kankuro's stare didn't waver, and my laughter died in my throat. I leaned forward slightly, examining his facer. "Okay, Kankuro, seriously, you're scaring—"

A split second later Kankuro pulled me roughly to his chest. I yelped as my stomach wound gave a dangerous throb, but he ignored me. His arms were crushing me to him, making it almost impossible to breathe, and when I could breathe all I could smell was his clothes, his skin. It was too much.

"Kankuro, what the hell are you doing?!" I yelled frantically, but I had no idea why. Why couldn't I just hug him back? This was the first time he had ever touched me in an affectionate way; I should have been taking full advantage of the moment. What the hell was _I _doing?

Kankuro stiffened. "I… don't know," he whispered. It was the only time he had almost seemed weak and broken.

Suddenly, the warm embrace around me disappeared; Kankuro stood up, looking flustered. "Right. We better move fast if we want to catch up with Gaara and Temari—"

"H-hold up!" I jumped up, my heart pumping adrenaline through my body. "What was that? You can't just hug me and then not give me an explanation!"

"What, does everything need an explanation?" he snarled, doing an emotional one-eighty and giving me a furious glare. I glared right back stubbornly.

"So, you go around giving everybody hugs? Cause you're just the kind of guy that does that, right?"

"Stupid kid, I don't need to give you an explanation for anything! It didn't mean anything! All you kids are exactly the same, trying to make mountains out of molehills with every—"

"I don't believe that!" I grabbed the front of his shirt to keep him from turning away. "You told me you looked at me the same way Gaara looks at Sasuke. That means SOMETHING."

"Sure it does," Kankuro hissed, trying to tug out of my grasp. "Or at least, you wish it does."

I almost gasped as pain stabbed at my chest, worse than any stomach wound. Kankuro snorted and grabbed my wrists; he was always so much stronger than me. I cried out sharply as he gave them a swift twist, effectively dislodging my hands from his shirt. I fell back, clutching my wrists and panting, and he took the opportunity to turn his back on me. The simple action sent a fire of rage surging through my body, and I no longer could think.

"Don't…" My hands clenched into fists. "Don't… you… dare… turn… away… from me!!"

I lunged forward, grabbed his shoulder, and spun him around. Neither of us had anytime to think before my lips crashed onto his. He let out a noise of shock, and I quickly gripped his hair underneath his hood to keep him against me. My lips moved roughly, desperately; I had to get as much as I could right then, because who knew what would happen afterwards? Still, the moment didn't last long; my tongue hadn't even made it past his teeth before he managed to push me away.

"K-Kiba—"

I allowed my gaze to fall just below his face; the aftereffects of my reckless action were now free to crash over me. Was I out of my mind?! Why did I have to go and do THAT?! God, now he would never talk to me, or even look at me.

"…Shit," I muttered. When I spoke, Kankuro seemed to snap out of whatever daze he was in.

"You…" His voice was almost a whisper as he touched his lips. "You kissed me."

"Really??" I asked sarcastically. "You know, this state-the-obvious game is getting really old."

"But… why?"

I rolled my eyes. "Why do you think, moron? Take a wild guess. I either really really want to piss you off, or I really really like you. Take your pick."

There was a shocked silence. I was pretty sure both of us were wondering where the sudden bravery and cockiness had come from.

"It's not nice to mess with people, kid," he mumbled, blushing (Kankuro! BLUSHING!) and staring down at his sandals.

"One: I'm not. And two: Yeah, like you NEVER mess with people, right?"

I could've sworn he was smirking.

I reached up and put my hands on his cheeks, making him face me again. "Kiss me back," I pleaded. My eyes were fixed on his lips, as if he needed another indicator of just how desperate I was. "Kiss me like you want me as much as I want you."

Kankuro's eyes widened, and I imagined that the new fire suddenly blazing in his dark green eyes was anger, maybe outright rage. Still, I didn't care. I didn't care if he totally turned his back on me, forever and ever amen. All I wanted was this. I just wanted to know what it would feel like to be wanted by Kankuro.

After a deep breath, Kankuro muttered something about "Fucking hormones", and leaned down to capture my lips in his.

The kiss went against all my expectations. I had always imagined that Kankuro kissed rough and hard, as if his life depended on it. Instead… well, you couldn't call him careful, but he was slow and soft, almost as if he thought I would break if he pushed me a little farther, but his lips were filled with such passion that it was like he was completely dominating me. His thumbs ran across the marks on my cheeks as he pulled me closer and pushed his tongue into my mouth. I moaned longingly and dug my nails into the back of his shirt. I was lost. I was helpless. I couldn't remember my name. How could one kiss do so much to me?

"Ah… Kankuro…" I murmured when he finally pulled away. My tongue ran across my bottom lip as I fought to gather myself together; his taste still lingered on my skin. "W-wow… you really kissed me like you wanted me."

Kankuro quirked an eyebrow. "Maybe I do." He reached up and lightly stroked my cheek, and I felt a flare of impossible hope shoot up my spine. He couldn't, but he did, he wanted me. He really wanted me. I couldn't ever remember being happier.

I grinned. "And here I was, thinking you hated children." I crossed my arms and swayed my hips from side to side. "But you _wuuuuv_ me, don't you? You want to _hooold_ me and _kiiiiss_ me."

Kankuro's eye twitched. "Don't push it."

I laughed and threw my arms around him. I couldn't believe it; I had him. I had HIM. "Kankuro…" I murmured again, nuzzling my cheek against his chest. His heartbeat sped up against my ear, and I felt his fingertips brush up my bare arms…

"Kankuro! What are you up to?"

Kankuro jumped, and he quickly pushed me about two yards away. "Uh, hey Temari."

I looked up. Kankuro's older sister stood there along with Shikamaru, and both of them looked insultingly surprised. Temari had her hands on her hips and a disapproving expression, but for some reason something seemed off…

"What do you think you're doing? Where WERE you?"

"Hey, he had a huge slash in his stomach! I had to do SOMETHING!" Kankuro said defensively, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder at me. I pointed at my now-stitched stomach to help him out. Temari raised an eyebrow.

"Aw, so you needed to give him a hug?" she asked mockingly. Kankuro looked away and didn't answer. I felt like giving her a good hard kick. Temari groaned.

"Jesus, Kankuro, I don't mind if you're gay, but he's THIRTEEN! I swear, if you do anything to him I will—"

"I won't, I won't! God, I'm not that perverted!"

"Oh, REALLY—"

"Hey, wait!" I interrupted, and everyone's attention flew to me. I'd finally realized what was wrong with this scenario.

"Sasuke! Where's Sasuke? And Gaara! If you guys are going back to the village, then you must have… And where's Naruto?"

Pain flashed across both Temari's and Shikamaru's face. I felt like a dark cloud had just crossed the sky, making everything grow dark and cold, because what obviously happened couldn't have happened. It was impossible.

"W-where's Sasuke?" I breathed, fear making my voice go quiet. Kankuro was staring at me intently, but I didn't care. All that mattered was Temari's answer.

"…Gaara was right behind Naruto," Temari said, glaring at a nearby tree. "He found Lee-I guess he had snuck away from wherever he was being treated- about to be killed, so he stopped to help him. He wasn't going to just let him die. Then when Lee was safe he kept on running… until… until he found Kakashi carrying Naruto back from the falls, and Sasuke's headband clutched in his hand." She turned back to me, and for once her gaze was soft and pitying. "I'm sorry. We failed."

A second later she turned back to Kankuro, seemingly oblivious to the sound of my entire body dying. "Kankuro, I know what you're thinking. Don't go to Gaara right now."

Kankuro's eyes narrowed. "Why not? This is exactly what I was afraid of! I need to go to Gaara and- and—"

"And what?" Temari snapped, her eyes blazing. "What can you possibly say that will make him feel better? He needs time alone. He needs a chance to calm himself without… without any of us around. Do you understand?"

Kankuro didn't argue. He rubbed his temples, his eyes squeezed shut. "Fine… but-but if he hasn't returned to Konoha in two hours, I'm coming back for him."

Temari nodded, and turned to head back to the village. Shikamaru followed, looking like he wished he hadn't been around to listen to us, and Kankuro and I trailed behind him.

"I'll kill him," Kankuro hissed, breaking our silence. I snapped out of my stupor and glanced sideways at him.

"Kankuro… please don't…" I started, but he cut me off.

"No, I don't care what you have to say about him. I don't care if he's a genius or if he's good looking of if he's had a painful childhood or ANYTHING!! He hurt my brother… and…" He shot me a blazing look, and I had to look away. He knew how I thought of Sasuke, I was sure of it. I felt ashamed.

"Tell me whatever you want about him," he muttered. "I don't care. God help Uchiha if I ever see his face again. I will kill that bastard, if it's the last thing I do!"

I squeezed my mouth shut and tried to block out his words. The brief fiery happiness from earlier was gone. For the first time, even though we were polar opposites, I knew that for just a moment Gaara and I were the same. Our hearts were breaking in the exact same way, and as we made our way through the gates into Konoha, I could almost hear him screaming.

**(More to come, more to come… As you can tell, I'm not done with the flashbacks just yet… cause I'm so evil… Mwahaha. Have a muffin.)**


	11. Breakdown

**(AN: Dear God, I hate writing filler chapters almost as much as you hate reading them, but unfortunately I think that this one is necessary… We're going into a little bit of Sasuke's past too, just cause I feel like torturing you all. Bow to my evil. Btw, the next chappie is the last flashback, cross my heart and hope to fry. So please hang in there a while longer, you brave souls…)**

**Disclaimer: I wouldn't want to be the owner of Naruto, not the way the plot's heading right now… Am I the only person that thinks that Shippuuden sucks ass?**

**Chapter Eleven: Breakdown**

**(Kiba POV)**

_Half a year passes…_

My fist rapped on the apartment door, making the room number swing on its single nail. I scowled at the offending number; why did he have to live in a place so cheap that even the room number couldn't stay still on the door? He deserved better, and it pissed me off to no end.

The door opened, and Kankuro stumbled into the doorway, still half-dressed. He rubbed his eyes and stared blearily at me. "Wha… Kiba?"

"Jeez, you look like shit," I said cheerfully. I pulled a bottle of sake out of the bag I was carrying and held it out to him. "Surprise! Let's celebrate you becoming a Chuunin!"

Kankuro blinked; I guess he had been asleep when I showed up. "You should have told me you would be coming to Suna."

"But then it wouldn't be a surprise!" I said, pouting. He rolled his eyes and stepped to the side, allowing me inside.

"You didn't have to do this," he mumbled, stretching and yawning as he closed the door. "_You _became a Chuunin, too."

"Yeah, but _you _need more attention in my opinion," I said, flopping onto the small couch and looking around. It always surprised me, how eerily _clean _Kankuro's apartment was. It wasn't perfect; the stray sock or kunai lay here and there, but it was NOTHING like the hurricane my room was. Every time he saw my bedroom he would complain about the mess.

Kankuro sighed and sat down beside me. He pulled me into his lap and softly kissed my neck. "Hmm, how thoughtful. And where exactly did you get the sake, no-good kid?"

"I stole it from the pantry at my house," I answered immediately, and he quirked an eyebrow. "My mom and sis are a bit too fond of the happy drink."

Kankuro snickered, and tightened his arms around my waist. I sighed and leaned my head back against his shoulder, and my hands slid up to cover his. His embrace was so warm, and always gave me a sense of safety and security. If I'd had my way, we could stay like that for hours, just holding each other in a warm silence. Of course, Kankuro always had to open his mouth and say something to break up the moment (kinda like me, I guess).

"Hey, where's your puppy?" he asked, looking around. I wanted to give him a shove and remind him for the millionth time not to call Akamaru a puppy, but then I remembered that I had a mission to fulfill.

"Oh, I just left Akamaru at home this time," I said, looking up at the ceiling and trying to sound casual. Kankuro threw me a suspicious glance.

"Yeah? Mind telling me why?"

"Oh, just so he wouldn't, you know, get in the way of…"

"Of _what_? Spit it out, Kiba, before I grow old."

A coy smirk slid onto my face, and I quickly turned in his lap so I was straddling his waist; my hands grabbed his writs and pressed them against the back of the couch, hopefully immobilizing him for long enough.

"Get in the way of the _special_ celebration we're gonna have today. What do you say? I have everything we might need in my bag. We could even go now, if you're up for it."

Kankuro stiffened, and his expression hardened. "Kiba, we've discussed this before, and my answer hasn't changed. _No_."

"Hmm." I pressed my lips to his neck, and tickled the sensitive skin with my tongue. "I bet I can change your mind," I whispered huskily before giving his skin a harsh nibble.

Kankuro shivered, but he quickly jerked his head away. "No, Kiba," he said, simply and with the air of someone having the final say in a discussion. I was determined to win this fight, though.

"Come _on!_" I groaned, my voice losing the quiet, sexy quality it formerly had. "It's been six months since we got together, and I still haven't managed to get into your pants."

Kankuro's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Is that all you want me for? Sex?"

"No, no! Please, don't be like that. But how long before I can get you in bed? How long before I can show you how much you mean to me?" I leaned forward and slowly traced his lips with my tongue. "I love you," I breathed. "Why won't you let me show you that?"

I had to grudgingly admire the strength of Kankuro's self control; he pushed me off of him and put on his "stern face". "Kiba, for the last time, you are _thirteen_."

"Almost fourteen," I pointed out from my position on the floor. He rolled his eyes again.

"Fine, almost fourteen. AKA, _waay_ too young to lose your virginity. It's not happening. End of conversation."

My lower lip stuck out in another pout. These arguments always ended with Kankuro using my age against me. I couldn't see any sense in waiting; I mean, Kankuro was fifteen, and I was sure he wanted me in bed at least as much as I wanted him. Why wait if we both wanted each other?

"You just won't sleep with me 'cause you're afraid Temari will kick you ass," I muttered grouchily, glaring at a spot on the floor. There was a loud _thud_ as Kankuro dropped onto his knees beside me.

"Come on, hun, you know that's not true," he said, sounding like he was about to laugh. My response was a sigh and turning so that he could converse with the back of my head.

"Aaaw, Kibaaaa."

I started to get up, but something pulled me back. I looked down; blue chakra strings were wrapped around my wrist.

"Ha ha. Very funny, Kankuro."

"You aren't really mad at me, are you?" He twitched his index finger, and I was sent sprawling onto my back. "I'm doing this for your own good, you know. I don't want to ruin you while you're still so young." He crouched over me and brushed my dark hair out of my face, and his fingertips lingered on my cheek. "You have no idea how much you test my self control. If I didn't think it would do you any good to stay untouched for a while…"

His voice trailed off, but the look in his eyes finished the sentence for him.

"Just trust me on this one," he murmured, pressing his lips to mine. "_I love you._"

_I love you. _Kankuro never told me that, not unless he really really meant it. I couldn't fight back now. I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed him back, my anger quickly fading away.

But then the _other problem, _the one I was careful to never mention, reared its ugly head. Or rather, it's painfully gorgeous head.

You see, sometimes when I kissed Kankuro, instead of him, my mind drifted back to Sasuke.

--

That night, more problems arose (as if we needed more).

I was returning to Kankuro's room after exploring the many stores scattered along Suna's streets. Kankuro had stayed behind to fix a kink in Karasu. I shivered at the thought; I couldn't understand how he was so comfortable around needles, poison-coated ones at that.

When I reached his door, however, I heard voices, low and angry, as if Kankuro was having a quiet argument with someone. My fist froze mid-knock. What was this? Curiosity winning me over, I quickly pressed my ear to the crack in the door and concentrated. My sharp hearing picked up their words immediately.

"Gaara, this is insane," Kankuro growled, and I had to hold back a gasp. Gaara?! Since when did Kankuro talk to his brother like that? "Why would you do that? The villagers don't trust you, and Temari and I won't be able to stay with you at all times—"

"I don't care." Gaara's voice was calm, but I could hear the danger hidden in his words. "I can't keep living the way I do. How will I ever win over anybody's trust like this? I want to accomplish something. If I become Kazekage…"

This time the gasp managed to escape from my lips. _Kazekage?! _No way…

"Gaara, you can't do this! If you become Kazekage… I don't even want to think of the way people will mistreat you! The council will be watching your every move, on the lookout for a single mistake or failure. The problems and lives of the whole village will rest on your shoulders the moment you enter your office. Do you really want to live like _that?_"

"_I don't care,_" Gaara repeated. "I'll do everything I can to protect this village and make it a better place. For once, I'll do something truly great, and be remembered as more than just a monster or a weapon."

The honesty and determination in his voice made me want to cry, and I wasn't exactly what you called a sentimental person. God knew Gaara was totally qualified; powerful, extremely smart, organized, and most of all, he would put everybody else's needs before his own. What was Kankuro's problem?

"Look, Gaara… I don't want to say this… but…" I heard Kankuro sigh. "You becoming Kazekage… won't bring him back."

Silence. My insides seemed to freeze.

"I don't… What are you talking about?" Gaara asked, but the pain in his voice said he knew exactly what he was talking about.

"If you become Kazekage… It won't bring Sasuke back. Making yourself a more respectable person in society… he's not going to care… he's not going to—"

"This-this has nothing to do with him!" Gaara yelled, and a loud crash let me know that some poor glass object had just met its doom. "He can do whatever he wants and I-I don't care! I don't care what he thinks about me, I don't care about him at all!"

"That's a lie," Kankuro hissed. "You don't know it, but sometimes Temari and I go by your room, and we can hear you crying and sobbing his name…"

I clenched my teeth. _I shouldn't be listening to this, I shouldn't…_

"Sh-shut up," Gaara retorted, his voice cracking. "It could've been the TV for all you know… or the radio… or—"

"Gaara, I can recognize your voice from a mile away… Please, just listen to me. Sasuke won't care if you accomplish something like becoming Kazekage… he won't be proud… God, Gaara, he betrayed you. He betrayed you and everybody else when he joined Orochimaru. He only cares about power, not about you. Forget about him!"

"…No." Gaara's voice was so quiet that I could barely hear him. "I don't believe you. I don't believe that. He told me—"

"Everything he said was a _lie._"

Gaara's furious yell ripped through my ears, so harsh that I stumbled back. I'd never heard Gaara so angry, sounding so ready to lose… control…

My breath caught. _Kankuro--!!_

"I don't believe that!! You never knew him, you never talked to him, YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD HIM!! YOU DON'T KNOW—YOU DON'T—HE DIDN'T—AARGH!!"

I heard the sound of sand rushing through the air, Kankuro's startled cry, and my instincts took over. I crashed through the doorway, pulled a kunai out of my back pocket, and dove in front of him.

"No!! Don't hurt him!!" I yelled desperately, clutching my kunai out in front of me (as if that would be much use up against Gaara).

"Kiba—" I'd never heard Kankuro sound so scared in my life. He grabbed my shoulder; he was going to push me out of the way so Gaara couldn't attack me. It wasn't fair. Silently asking for forgiveness, I twisted my head and sank my teeth into his wrist. He let go with a yelp.

"What the—"

"Don't touch me! Don't push me out of the way! I'm not a baby, and I'm not going to let you get hurt!!" I whipped around to face Gaara, but what I saw made me freeze. Gaara's eyes were wide and his expression was wild, but he wasn't filled with his usual fire. Instead, though he was prepared to attack, the look in his eyes was completely dead.

Little by little, the sand hovering around us showered down onto the floor. Gaara stumbled, his lifeless eyes fixed on me, and collapsed onto the couch. His shaking hands raised to cover his face, and his shoulders hitched.

"Oh… my God…"

Kankuro slowly stepped out from behind me and crouched down in front of him. His hands clasped his shoulders, but Gaara didn't look up.

"Gaara—"

"H-h-he told me…" Gaara whispered, drops of water escaping from the cracks between his fingers, "he told me that h-he was so glad he knew me, that we were friends, that my existence wasn't meaningless… I had never been happier than I was at that moment… I meant something to him…"

Gaara slumped forward and clutched Kankuro's shirt; his forehead pressed to his brother's shoulder, but that couldn't hide his red, blotchy face or the tears cascading down from his eyes.

"Kankuro," he sobbed, "nii-san, I think… I think I l-love him. I th-think I'm in love with him. I l-love S-Sa-Sasuke!"

Kankuro's face contorted with pain. His hand slowly crept forward, and for one crazy moment I thought he would slap his younger brother. Instead, he stroked the top of his head and let him sob uncontrollably into his shoulder.

"I know you do," he murmured. "I think I've known for a while now. I just..." His eyes squeezed shut. "I just wish so much that you didn't. I wish he hadn't hurt you like this. I wish… a lot of things…"

I shook my head and turned away; I got the feeling I was no longer welcome, and that I should leave them alone for now. Quietly, I slipped into the bedroom. No one tried to stop me. I wondered if they even remembered that I was there.

As soon as the door clicked shut, I fell back on the bed and let all of my bitter feelings wash over me.

_Gaara loves Sasuke. Well, I knew he liked him, but __**love**__… He cares more about Sasuke than I ever have… Oh well, that's that. If Sasuke comes back, they can get together and live happily ever after. They fit so well together… They can adopt a kid, start a family… Get married…_

The mental image made me want to laugh, cry, and kill myself.

_What's wrong with me?! I love Kankuro… so why won't I stop thinking about Sasuke? This needs to stop! Gaara can have him… He can take him… He'll be happy…_

Another mental image; a happy Gaara. A Gaara that wasn't crying, that had a fiery look in his eyes instead of the terrifying nothingness that occupied them now. All because he was with Sasuke.

And in the background, Kankuro was happy, too. Even though he was in the arms of someone he totally despised, he was so glad for his little brother because he was no longer in pain.

_That's it!_

Adrenaline pulsed through my veins like fire; I had to jump up and pace the room to keep from exploding. Of course! If Sasuke came back and got with Gaara, Gaara would be happy, in turn making Kankuro happy. And then… maybe that would get Sasuke out of my head and let me focus on Kankuro.

And maybe, Sasuke would smile at me.

_Alright, _I said mentally in a determined voice, _that's the plan! I don't care how long it takes, I'll wait for Sasuke to come back, and I'll watch his every move when he's around Gaara! And then, when I find absolute, undeniable, 100 proof that Sasuke is just as crazy about Gaara as Gaara is about him…_

_...I'll get them together, if it's the last thing I do, and make everybody happy!!_

--

**(Sasuke POV ohmagawd)**

_Another six months passes…_

I couldn't sleep. Of course, for the past year being unable to sleep wasn't abnormal for me. I was afraid to dream. But thinking hurt too. When the training was done and I was finally alone, my mind would wander and the ghosts would catch up to me.

Still, I would have given anything not to dream.

I lay on my small bed and stared up at the dark ceiling; there were no windows in this place. Orochimaru didn't want to take any chances with spies and enemies. Windows were a big no-no, as was going outside unless ordered to. He was especially careful about letting me out. No wonder I was so pale. Even paler than—

I shook my head furiously and pressed my palms against my eyes. _Don't think about him. Don't think about anyone else, especially __**him.**_

But when the stars on the back of my eyelids faded, their faces reappeared. My heart did a strange, painful spasm. Naruto… my first real friend, the first person I had ever really connected with, the first person to not treat me like some cool, special hotshot. It was always strangely refreshing to talk to him. He had taught me so much… more than I would ever admit to.

Sakura… God, I even missed her. As annoying as she was, she was still my friend. Even when I was an asshole she was still nice… though she only put up with me because I was good looking. I snorted bitterly. I changed my mind, I didn't miss that at all.

But then the face I had been dreading appeared in my mind. Gaara… My fingernails dug into my chest, above my heart. A year had passed and these feelings still lingered, perhaps even growing. It didn't help that Kabuto always let slip snide comments about him when I was around… _"Hey, look at that sand, Uchiha. Doesn't it remind you of someone?" "Hey, Uchiha, heard the news? Sabaku no Gaara's become the new Kazekage. Aren't you proud?"_

Kazekage… I _was_ proud. To become Kazekage at age fourteen was truly impressive. I remembered how he had been so worried that he would never be able to do something good, to amount to anything more than a feared and hated weapon.

I wished I could have been with him to tell him how happy I was for him.

I opened my eyes; the ceiling above me was blurry. I blinked, and trails of warm water carved down my cheeks. I was so glad I was alone; I wouldn't have been able to bear Orochimaru's taunts:

"_Why are you being such a baby, boy? Aren't I giving you what you wanted? You wanted power, didn't you? You want to kill your brother, don't you? Forget that Suna wretch, and focus on your goal! I can't use you if you're getting lovesick all over the place—"_

I clamped my hands over my ears, as if that would stop the never-ending mental tirade. I was losing my mind; every day I spent here I slipped a little farther away from sanity. I lost just a little more pieces of what I used to be. Soon, I would still be breathing and talking and eating, but I wouldn't really be alive.

"Gaara," I moaned, squeezing my eyes shut, "I don't want this… help me… Gaara, help me, please… I can't take it… I can't…"

I bit into my lip until blood spilled down my chin. I didn't bother stopping the crimson flood, or doing anything about the injury. I would just make up some lame excuse for Orochimaru about it; if anything, the wound would serve as a source of amusement to him.

"_What a fag… If you weren't so powerful I wouldn't look twice at a pathetic fag like you… Filthy faggot—"_

_I'm not a faggot! Please, leave me alone!_

"—_look at you, if you weren't crying I would say you were just like me. So heartlessly betraying everyone that cared about you—"_

_Stop it, stop it! I didn't mean to, I didn't want—_

"_Then what are you doing here, boy? No one's coming to rescue you now. You're all mine, you filthy faggot—"_

I turned over and pressed my face into the pillow, keeping my hands clamped tightly over my ears. Anything to keep the voices away.

"Gaara… I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

**(AN: Thank you to all the people who reviewed. I'm too lazy to put all of your names out here, but I really wanted to thank gamergirl8901, who was the first lovely person to leave a review and has put up with my story ever since. So hooray for reviewers! Yeah. And stuff.)**


	12. Lucky Day In Hell

**(AN: Oh my gosh, I'm shocked that so many people loved the last chapter! Thank you very much! (bows) But anyway, I said this would be the last flashback chappie, and it is, but that means I had to cram a lot of crap into this thing. I hope you like long chapters.)**

**Disclaimer: I wish Tsugumi Ohba owned Naruto… then it would be totally awesome like Death Note… (sighs)**

**Chapter Twelve: Lucky Day in Hell**

**(Kiba POV)**

_Two years have passed since Sasuke left…_

_Two years of managing to get by…_

_Two years before all hell suddenly broke loose._

"_Kiba…?"_

_I looked away from the TV, where some dude was making a frail attempt at stand-up comedy. Kankuro and I were lying on the couch in his new apartment room, which was much bigger and better furnished than the shithole he had been living in a year before. His arm rested around my shoulders, and his fingers stroked my slightly damp hair; though he still, even now, refused to take my virginity, there were many other things we did together that could make me break out into a sweat. It almost took away the constant frustration I felt._

"_Hmm? What's up?"_

"_Well…" He looked down and blushed; he still did that surprisingly often. "Can I ask you something?"_

"_Um, of course." I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Don't act so nervous, it's scaring me. That's not like you."_

_He rolled his eyes. "Believe it or not, Kiba, even __**I **__get nervous."_

"_No. Way." I pretended to look shocked._

"_Okay, do something different and be serious for a second." He sighed and slowly ran a hand across my cheek. "I was just wondering… it's been nagging at me for a long time… why do you, you know, want to be with me? I mean… I don't even know how to say it… why do you care about me so much?"_

_I blinked, and burst out laughing._

"_Don't laugh," Kankuro mumbled, looking offended. "I'm serious. I'm nothing special…"_

"_Oh, don't start." I clamped a hand over his mouth before he started going emo on me. "You know, for a seventeen year old, you aren't very smart, are you?"_

_His only response was an indignant glare._

"_Does there even have to be a reason?" I asked, tracing my fingertips over the exposed skin of his muscled chest. Over the past couple of years he had lost weight, and gained a body that would make most men jealous. I knew __**I **__was. At age fifteen I still resembled a stick, though Kankuro had said I was a lot better looking now than the obnoxious kid I had been at thirteen. Yeah, whatever that meant. "Isn't it obvious that I love you? I have to love you a lot to put up with this ridiculous 'no sex' rule of yours."_

"_Ha ha." Kankuro avoided my eyes. "Well… for the longest time… I thought you were crazy about that… that Uchiha kid."_

_I held back a cringe. Sasuke's name had pretty much become taboo since the day Gaara had confessed his feelings for him. The only time Kankuro even mentioned him was when he was angry and needed something to bitch about._

"_What? __**Sasuke?**__" I forced out a laugh that sounded almost bitter. "Why would you think that I like Sasuke?"_

"_I just… got a feeling. The way you reacted when Uchiha ran away…" He bit his lip. "I could never get it out of my head."_

_My heart thudded painfully against my ribcage, but I managed a small smile. "Come on, that was two years ago. I mean, I cared about him in a way, we were classmates when we were kids, but I've never liked him 'that way'."_

_The lie slipped so easily off my tongue, and it hurt when his face lit up and he looked so reassured._

"_That's good. It's bad enough that Gaara still has feelings for him. I don't know what I would do if he had you all along as well."_

_I tried hard to control the emotions displayed on my face as I moved my hands into his hair. "You're the only one for me," I whispered, and I wished so much that I could say those words without lying._

_Kankuro sighed again and pulled me into a deep, soft kiss. I closed my eyes as his lips melded with mine, and I enjoyed one of those brief, shining moments when I would kiss Kankuro and think of only him. I wanted every kiss to be exactly like that._

"_That's good…" he repeated softly, but it was far from good, so far that it wasn't even funny. Still, I lay in his arms and accepted every kiss he gave to me, and I pretended that it was._

"Kiba! K-Kiba!!"

I jerked roughly out of my daze. Kankuro's room disappeared, and I was back in the present time and place; early evening, in Konoha, sitting with my back against the tree in my backyard. Hinata was running toward me, a terrified look on her face; I saw my mom gazing at her curiously through the back door.

"K-Kiba! There you are!" Hinata collapsed on the ground in front of me, panting heavily. I stared at her, beginning to feel a little worried; Hinata was acting even more frightened than usual.

"Hey… hey, Hinata?" I got onto my knees and shook her shoulder. "What's up? Did some guy try to touch you? Tell me who it was and I'll kick their ass."

"No, no, I'm fine." She grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me down so that my ear was level with her mouth.

"I just heard Kurenai-sensei talking to Asuma-sensei… something horrible has happened." Her voice was quiet and desperate, and it would have almost been hot if she hadn't sounded so scared. "Kiba… it's Kankuro… he's…"

My blood ran cold, and suddenly the air around me turned into thick water.

"What happened?" I asked, my nails digging into her shoulder. Hinata winced, but she didn't pull away.

"Asuma-sensei said that… that the Kazekage had been kidnapped… Of course, Kankuro went after the kidnappers…"

Oh God. Gaara. Gaara had been kidnapped… But if the kidnappers had been strong enough to bring Gaara down—

"What happened to Kankuro?" I demanded, but half of me didn't want to hear her answer.

"S-some Suna jonin found him, about three miles away from the village… I'm so sorry, Kiba! He was poisoned with something, and there is no cure…"

The world stopped spinning.

"Kankuro's… _dying?_" I breathed.

Hinata let out a small noise that sounded like a sob. "Kiba, I'm sorry…"

A second later I was on my feet. I wouldn't bother packing any bags. I wouldn't eat or sleep until I had reached Suna, and reached Kankuro. Or Kankuro's body.

_No. No, he can't die. Not him, not him…_

Hinata jumped up and tugged on my sleeve. "What do I tell Tsume?"

Damn, for a moment I had forgotten. Tsume didn't know about Kankuro, and it was best if it stayed that way. _I don't have time for this!_ "I don't know, Hinata. Anything. Make up something." I spared one second to look back at my teammate; her large eyes were shimmering, and two trails of tears carved down her cheeks. "I hated leaving her like that, but I had to. My mom was already out the door and walking toward us, a "mother-ish" look pasted on her face.

"Thank you," I said, and I took off.

Buildings passed beside me in a meaningless blur. I was running faster than I'd ever run in my life, with my heart pounding a rhythm in my head that sounded too terrifyingly much like a clock.

_Tick, tock, tick, tock… _

I felt a familiar presence dashing beside me, and I glanced to the side. My vision was so blurry that I could only see a giant white fuzzball thing, but I knew who it was right away.

"Akamaru!"

He let out a huge bark and moved closer to my side; I managed to make myself jump up onto his back.

"Suna," I told him, my voice hoarse. "We need to get to Suna _now._"

Three days. It was a three day trip, and who knew how long it took for the news about Kankuro to reach Konoha. I would never make it in time.

Akamaru whined; he could sense my fear. I shook my head, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

"No… I'm fine… really…" I groaned and collapsed against his neck. "Suna… we've got to hurry…"

I felt Akamaru's paws slam against the ground as his speed increased. I closed my eyes and clenched my hands in my hair.

_Not again. Everybody I care about… first Sasuke… now Kankuro… They're all disappearing!!_

I remembered the day that Kankuro and I had gotten together, so long ago, the day he saved my life just as I was about to die. The same day that I had done virtually nothing to bring Sasuke back home. I was useless. I couldn't save anybody!

_No. Not this time. _My teeth clenched painfully. _I won't just sit there and be helpless. I don't care what it takes. I won't lose Kankuro, not like this, and if I have to go to hell to bring him back, so be it!_

--

**(Sasuke POV)**

_Tap tap tap._

A soft knocking noise came from outside my door. I groaned and sat up from my bed, running my hand irritably through my hair. I didn't want to answer the door. I hated everyone in this goddamn place. Why would I want to talk to them during my free time?

"Get the fuck away from my room," I muttered, which was my usual response to knocking these days. If it was Orochimaru I would pay for my insolence later, but I didn't care. I welcomed physical pain. It helped me escape, if just for a minute, from the torture cell of my mind.

_Click. _My door unlocked, and slowly began to swing open. Anger flared through me. _Who the hell dares to—_

"I sweat to God, I'll Chidori you if you don't leave me alone!" I yelled, jumping up and yanking open the door, but as soon as I saw him all of the threats died in my throat. _**Impossible.**_

"Why the shocked expression?" Gaara murmured, a slight smile forming on his lips. "You must have known… that I would always come for you."

I couldn't think. I was dead. I couldn't even feel my heart beat.

"You won't leave me waiting out here all night, will you?" he asked, but his voice hinted that he meant something other than waiting to come inside. Still, I stepped to the side and let him in, as if in a daze. Gaara closed the door and pulled the lock shut.

"What… what are you doing here?" I asked breathlessly, finally finding my voice.

Gaara's brows furrowed. "Don't you want me here, Sasuke?" he asked, pouting. I blinked.

_That's not like Gaara, _a voice in my head said, but I pushed it to the side.

"Of course I do," I said; I could feel my cheeks heating up. I was acting like an idiot. "But… I never expected you to—"

My voice trailed off into a shuddering gasp; Gaara had taken a step forward and pressed himself against me, his hands on my chest.

"Sasuke… anything is possible, when you're in love." He looked up at me, his eyes shining with something… I didn't know what it was, but I felt another uneasy twinge in the back of my mind. "I want you, Sasuke. I can't live without you."

I felt a sob building up in my throat. "I… need you, too," I whispered, my voice shuddering. Gaara smiled, looking satisfied.

_Gaara doesn't smile like that._

Gaara's hands slipped under my shirt and rubbed against my stomach and chest, but his strokes were rough, almost desperate. Suddenly the look in his eyes was recognizable; pure lust.

"Prove it to me," he whispered, and he started to lean up towards my lips.

My hand whipped forward, and I stabbed my kunai into his stomach.

Gaara let out a strangled gasp and fell to his knees. I stumbled back, trying to control the tears welling up in my eyes. The agony of that simple action was much worse than I expected, but I knew why. Part of my mind was positive that I had just stabbed Gaara.

The other half knew better.

"You…" He spat out a mouthful of blood. "You just… stabbed me."

"If you don't want to be stabbed, next time actually act like the person you're impersonating," I hissed, my voice full of malice. My Sharingan eyes were now activated, and instead of Gaara a red-haired girl with glasses kneeled on the floor, looking extremely pissed off. Not as pissed as I was, though.

"Karin, what the hell are you trying to pull?!"

Karin glared up at me, her mouth twisted into a grimace. "I acted good enough to get _you _all excited for a bit. But you won't even take me when I look like your little whore, will you?"

"Gaara is not my whore!" I yelled, feeling a sudden urge to rip her head off her shoulders. "What the fuck—"

"Oh, really?" she sneered, clutching her stomach and rising shakily to her feet. "You're always moaning about him in your sleep." She made her voice high pitched and clutched at her shoulders, as if she was hugging a pillow tight to her chest. "_Gaara, Gaara, help me, I want to be with you, take me away from here—_Ha! As if someone made you leave him behind!"

My hands balled up into fists, but I stayed silent. There was nothing I could say.

"Want to know something, Sasuke? You should have been satisfied with me, because now I'm all you've got."

My eyes narrowed. "What is _that _supposed to mean?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot, Orochimaru didn't want you to know. He thought it would make you even more of a pathetic faggot than you already are." Karin let out a harsh laugh, but her legs shook violently and a second later she was on her knees. I bent down and grabbed her by the throat.

"_What is it?!_" I snarled, my temper bubbling over.

Karin didn't show any fear. She searched my eyes, and spoke the two words that changed the course of my life forever.

"Gaara's dead."

I blinked. The words had seemed to fly right over my head. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Gaara's dead. Gone. Finished. Killed in action. How else shall I word it for you?"

Silence. I released her throat and stumbled back, and then the laughter started slipping out. I fell to my knees, laughing hysterically, because the thought of Gaara dying was even more impossible than him coming to rescue me from Orochimaru's clutches.

"Gaara's… dead?" I gasped out. "Impossible. You couldn't possibly know—"

"I do know, Sasuke. Heard it myself from one of Orochimaru's spies that was hanging around Suna. You could ask him yourself if you really want to. Gaara was kidnapped by the Akatsuki, for the demon Shukaku sealed inside of his body. They've most likely already taken the demon out of him, and the process to remove a demon kills the host." She gave another laugh, apparently so filled with joy that she didn't care about the blood spilling from her stomach and mouth. "Yup, Gaara's as good as dead. You can kiss your little whore goodbye… or maybe you can't," she added with a grin.

Somehow, I knew she wasn't lying. The Akatsuki… Itachi… he'd stolen Gaara, just like he's stolen my family and my life. They were all gone… everything… Gaara… gone…

I cupped my hands over my tear stained face, but the laughter didn't stop.

"Gone, gone… he's gone…" I choked out. I heard Karin make a disgusted noise.

"You disgust me," she hissed. "What kind of ninja cries over another man? You really are a weak faggot, just like Lord Orochimaru says. I can't blame him for wanting to kill you."

My body seemed to lock up for a split second, but then I was on my feet. My hand lashed forward, and Karin flopped back onto the floor, unconscious. I stood over her, panting heavily; blind fury coursed through my body, and I felt like I could destroy Orochimaru's hideout right then, just pull the building apart piece by piece. I wanted to run. I needed to run. I looked down at Karin's body and quickly wiped away the tears spilling from my eyes.

"_Gaara's as good as dead."_

_As good as dead._

Somehow, I refused to accept it. Gaara wasn't dead. He was as good as dead. He had to still be alive, he had to be. He had to...

Without another thought, I opened my door and ran out into the hallway. I went as quickly and silently as I could, my hands running across the walls in search of an exit. I couldn't trust my eyes; my vision was too blurry to distinguish anything in the darkness. I bit my lip to hold back the sobs that were trying desperately to escape. I needed to run.

Finally, my hand slipped onto a door. I pushed it open blindly and felt the breeze on my skin. I stepped outside, and the light of the moon almost blinded me further. How long had it been since I had felt a breeze, or even seen the moon?

Something moved out of the corner of my eye. I whipped around, and found a large group of Orochimaru's minions, led by Kabuto. He shoved his glasses up higher on his nose and pulled a kunai out of his back pocket.

"Orochimaru suspected mutiny from you someday, Uchiha," he sneered, as the other ninja followed suit. "He also told us what must be done if you were caught."

I cracked my knuckles.

Minutes later, I stood shivering and panting over the bodies of the enemy ninja. I stared up at the stars, trying to discover my position and which way to travel. I wasn't going back to Konoha, not just yet. I would go to Suna, and find out the whole truth of what happened to Gaara. And then… I didn't know what would happen then. Everything seemed to rest on one factor; whether Gaara was alive or not.

I shook my head, and set off at a swift run. I was either going to find Gaara, or avenge his death. I prayed desperately that I wouldn't have to do the latter.

--

**(Kiba POV)**

I had been running through the hospital in Suna for about half a minute before I crashed into Sakura.

"Ouch!"

"Ah, I'm sorry—" I took a step back, clutching my head, but froze when I recognized the pink-haired girl in front of me. "S-_Sakura?! _What are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm on vacation," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Suna sent a message to Konoha asking for assistance. Sorry, Kiba; if you wanted any action, you're way late."

My heart skipped a beat. "Too… late?" I gasped. Without warning, I lunged forward and grabbed her shoulders. She looked at me as if I was demented.

"_Is Kankuro alive?!_" I asked desperately, my voice shaking. Then, almost as an afterthought, "And Gaara?"

Sakura smiled understandingly. "Gaara's not great, but he's doing better. We just managed to rescue him a couple days ago, but he's really strong, he'll make it. And as for Kankuro…" She pointed over her shoulder. "He's in room 1-B. Go easy on him, though, he went with me, Naruto, and Kakashi-sensei to rescue Gaara against my recommendation—Hey!"

I had stopped listening after the room number, and was already dashing up the stairs two at a time. Sakura ran up to the foot of the stairs and called up, "Tell him to take his medicine!"

"I will!" I called back, a grin unfurling on my face. I ran down the hallway, crashing into about a dozen startled nurses, but I didn't care.

_Kankuro's alive. Oh my God, he's __**alive!!**_

I located the door marked 1-B (without a map!) and slammed the door open. There he was; his shirt and hat had been removed, and an angry red scar zigzagged across his chest and stomach. I cringed at the sight. His sacred body had been marred. Who could have done such a thing?!

But when he looked up at me and our eyes met, all of my horror disappeared.

"Kiba, you—_aargh!!_"

I ran forward and tackled him in a flying glomp; the force sent him sprawling back onto the hospital bed.

"Thank God, you're okay," I said, pressing my lips to his cheek, to his forehead, to every inch of skin I could reach. "I thought you were dead… I thought I'd lost you…"

"Heh, think again." Kankuro smirked and ran his hands slowly through my messy hair. "You're not getting away from me _that _easily."

Tears welled up in my eyes.

"Kankuroooo!" I sobbed, tightening my arms like a vice around him. He winced, a slight hissing sound fording out of his mouth.

"Oh," I mumbled, blushing and pulling away. "I'm sorry—"

Kankuro grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back on him. My cheeks flared, but I didn't protest.

"So," I said softly, resting my head against his shoulder. "I heard Gaara's doing well?"

Kankuro nodded and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God he is. I was… so scared that we wouldn't bring him back here alive. He's still a little weak, so he's asleep in the room next door—"

My neck made a cracking sound as my head shot up. "Gaara's asleep? But I thought—"

"The kidnappers took Shukaku out of Gaara," he said simply. "It's… amazing. I hate to say it, but… something good actually came out of this. Gaara's free."

I nodded slowly, my eyes fixed on his face. "And you?"

"Hmm? What about me?"

"Well, are you… are you all right?"

Kankuro quirked an eyebrow. "Do I look less than perfect to you?"

"Well…" I smirked and traced my fingers over the skin of his neck. "Other than this horrid mark you have slashing across your body, you look pretty hot."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm just fine, but Sakura told Baki-sensei to keep me in the hospital for another week. A _week! _I don't understand—"

"Did you take your medicine?" I asked sharply, cutting him off. He froze with a guilty expression on his face.

"Maaaaaybe," he mumbled, staring intently at a spot on the wall. I frowned.

"Dude, you're gonna die if you don't."

"Will I really, mutt?" He moved so fast that I could barely see him. The next second I was flat on the bed with Kankuro hovering over me, a wicked grin on his face.

"See? Do I really need medicine? I'm obviously still stronger than you. Don't be lecturing me, kid—"

He stopped abruptly, and the smile slowly disappeared. I felt my cheeks burning as I reached up to stroke his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, tilting his head so that his lips could press against my palm.

A blue light flickered from his middle finger, and the door locked with a click.

"K-Kankuro?" I asked, my voice soft and almost afraid. He was staring at me with so much intensity I could almost feel his gaze on my skin. One of his hands moved under my shirt, and the other busied itself pulling down the zipper. A second later my upper body was bare, and he was doing the most amazing things to my chest with his mouth. I moaned and arched up against him, and our clothed erections rubbed together harshly. A jolt of electricity shot through me as he placed his hand in between my legs; I closed my eyes and barely bit back a cry of shock.

"Kankuro, what are you…"

His fingers undid the button on my pants, and the question was silently answered for me.

"But—you said—you didn't want to—" God, here I was, about to finally get layed, and I was acting like a frightened schoolgirl. Kankuro moved his mouth back up to my face and traced the marks on my cheeks with his tongue. His voice breathed into my ear, sending a hot shudder of pleasure down my spine.

"Kiba… I wanted to wait… I didn't want to touch you, not while you were young, just in case you decided to leave me for another… in case you changed your mind…" I breathed in sharply, and my eyes filled with tears. Kankuro moved so that he was looking me straight in the eye, and time stopped. It was just me and him, looking into each other's eyes, and no one and nothing else mattered. No one else even existed. We were the only two people in the universe.

"Why did you come to Suna?" he asked, and his hands began to slide my pants off my hips. I gasped and wrapped my arms tight around his neck. I knew the answer.

"Because I love you," I whispered, and for once it was really and truly genuine. I loved him more than anything else in the world.

Both of us were clothes-less. Kankuro slid in between my parted thighs and cupped my face in his hands.

"I love you, too," he said, just as softly, just as lovingly, and his mouth covered mine. "And it's about time I really showed you."

So he did.

And Sasuke didn't appear once in my mind.

--

"Hey, Kiba, can you get me something alcoholic while you're out?"

"No way, I am _so _not letting you get drunk," I called back, and Kankuro's face fell. I rolled my eyes and turned to the actual occupant of the hospital room, the more responsible one by far. "Hey Gaara, you want anything?"

Gaara shrugged. "I don't know. I don't really want anything. That is, unless you can find some good beef tongue…"

"That's disgusting!" I moaned, clutching my stomach and making a face. "You're so _weird_, Gaara. Oh well, I'll see if I can find some…"

…_but I am not touching it, _I mentally added. I was about to head out the door, but Kankuro briefly stopped me.

"Be careful," he whispered before pressing his lips swiftly to mine. I smiled into the kiss, gave him a quick hug, and ran down the hallway with a new spring in my step. I was too happy to be brought down by trivial things, such as Gaara's bizarre taste in food. Things were definitely going up for me, that was for sure. For the first time, it seemed, Kankuro and I were like a real couple should have been. And not just that…

Even though it had happened days ago, I could still feel Kankuro on my skin, on my lips, inside my body. I sighed and wrapped my arms around my body, but somehow I couldn't imitate how warm he made me feel when he held me tightly, or the electricity shooting across my skin wherever his lips touched me. I breathed in deeply as I stepped outside the hospital and into the empty street.

I didn't know if it was because we waited for so long, or if it was because my feelings had time to grow strong and absolute, but the sex had meant more to me than I ever could have imagined.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a section of shadow move. I whipped around, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. I didn't have any kunai on me; I'd never packed before taking off from Konoha. Still, my claws would work just as well.

"Who's there?" I called. No answer, but Shadow Man moved a little farther in my direction. I only say his/her outline, but something was off. It was like whoever it was was hunched over, or in so much pain they couldn't walk correctly.

I carefully approached the person until I got a better view of them. Whoever it was was wearing a long, dark cloak, with the hood pulled down over his/her face. My suspicions arose. Who the hell walked around looking like that?

I took a step closer; I was right by Shadow Man's shoulder, but he did nothing to attack. He could've been an innocent, senile old man for all I knew. Or maybe he wasn't.

"Who are you?" I asked again in a louder voice, in case he was half deaf. But still he didn't answer. My patience snapped, and I grabbed his shoulders and threw back his hood.

My heart stopped beating.

"Sa-_Sasuke?!_"

--

**(Sasuke POV)**

I wasn't sure what was happening.

Someone was dragging me across a brightly-lit hallway. He had red marks on his cheeks that seemed strangely familiar, and he talked in a low, shaking voice.

"Hang in there, Sasuke," he said, and a hand brushed my bangs out of my face. "You're all right now… Come on, stay with me…"

_What is he talking about? _I thought blearily, the colors in front of me blurring together in a burning kaleidoscope. _Who is he?_

"I can't see… The colors…" I moaned, my head slumping down onto my chest. The boy's hand pressed to my forehead.

"Shit," he hissed, and I think he pulled me along at a faster pace. A second later, a loud crash ripped through my ears, making me flinch and whimper.

"Guys, please, help! He needs help—he has a really bad fever—"

"Who needs help?" another voice asked, sounding anxious and slightly suspicious. Strong hands pulled my face up, and I was looking into narrow green eyes.

His hands stiffened, and his eyes widened. "…No, it can't be. Not you…"

He stepped away and let my head drop back to my chest.

"Throw him out of here, Kiba! I don't ever want to see his face again!"

"But Kankuro—" The boy holding me trembled. "He needs help, please—he could die if we do nothing—"

"Good! No more than this brat deserves!"

"But—"

"…Sasuke?"

I recognized that voice. How many times had I dreamed about it?

A third set of soft hands touched my shoulders, and at the same time my muscles finally were sapped of their strength. I collapsed onto my hands and knees and vomited, sobbing as my sore throat was burned again.

"Kiba! Get Sakura!" the same perfect voice commanded, and I heard a set of feet rush out the door. Two warm arms lifted me off the ground and sat me down on a bed; he sat down beside me and pulled me to his equally warm chest. I gasped and nuzzled against the warmth, and I managed to muster up enough strength to look up at him.

Gaara was more perfect than I ever could have remembered.

"You…" I smiled and brushed my hand across his bangs. "You've grown your hair out."

Gaara grinned, and two tears fell from his eyes. "Yes," he whispered. "You always used to make fun of how short it was."

"Gaara, get the fuck away from him!" the angry voice yelled, but Gaara didn't seem to listen. He let me cling to his shirt and he held me tight, keeping me safe and warm. My guardian angel.

"I thought… you were dead…" I breathed, pressing my forehead to his shoulder. "But, then again… part of me knew… I don't know… I think I'm going crazy…"

Gaara's shoulders shook, and small droplets of water hit my neck.

"I always knew you would come back," he whispered. His thumb swiped across my mouth, and I cringed.

"Don't touch me," I mumbled weakly. "I'm disgusting."

"You could never disgust me," he murmured, but I hardly heard him. My stomach spasmed in pain, and against my will I let out a low moan. I slumped against him, panting heavily as sweat trickled down the side of my face.

"Water," I gasped.

Right then there was another painful crash, and two people ran into the room. One of them, a girl that I felt like I should've known, gasped.

"Sasuke—it's really him—"

"Sakura!" Gaara snapped, and the girl jumped. "Get some water, he's dehydrated!"

"O-okay," she stuttered, sounding dazed. "I-I have some right here…"

Gaara grabbed something from her hands and held it up to my mouth. "Drink it, Sasuke," he said, and I noticed that his voice was much gentler when he talked to me. I grabbed the bottle and drank hungrily, whimpering as the cool liquid hit my dry throat.

"Don't drink too fast," said Gaara, brushing my hair out of my face. I managed to drink slower, and almost immediately my head started to clear. I could finally recognize everybody else, though they all looked a lot older than I remembered. Sakura, Kiba, Kankuro…

"Let me look him over," Sakura said, and she grabbed my shoulder and tugged. I cried out and grabbed Gaara's shirt.

"No!"

Sakura blinked, and looked slightly offended. "We haven't seen each other in two years, and that's how you—You are unwell! I need to look you over!"

"No!" I buried my face into Gaara's neck. "Gaara… don't let me go…"

"Gaara!" Sakura said exasperatedly, turning to him. I felt Gaara shift slightly, and he turned my head so that I was facing him.

"Sasuke, Sakura's right. She needs to look you over and make sure you're all right."

I shivered. "…Okay… just… please don't leave… please stay here…"

"I won't leave, I promise."

Gaara released me and got off the bed, and I was pushed onto my back. Sakura began her examination, but I wasn't paying attention to her. My eyes were fixed on Gaara, who sat dutifully by my side. In the background, Kankuro threw me a hate-filled glare, and Kiba glanced at him, looking extremely uncomfortable. Kiba's hand slowly went to Kankuro's shoulder, and my heart gave a slight throb.

"I'm sorry," I said weakly, looking straight at Gaara but speaking to the room at large. Kiba's expression turned surprised, Kankuro gave a doubtful snort, and Sakura replied with a soft, "There's no need to apologize. You're back. You came back."

Gaara's calm aura seemed to tremble and crack, and he leaned forward to lightly stroke my cheek. "You're safe now," he murmured, and he put his mouth to my ear to whisper unheard words of comfort. I never remembered the words he'd breathed into my ear, but now I knew what he must have told me, all those months ago.

"_Sasuke, I love you."_

--

**(Kiba POV)**

I looked at Sasuke lying there on the bed, and my heart thudded painfully against my ribs. The bright happiness that had spanned the past few days had been put out in the blink of an eye; Sasuke had come back, and every feeling of lust for him had returned as well. He had grown so much while he was away. I felt sick for even noticing that. I didn't want to want him. I didn't want anything to do with him.

Kankuro looked sideways at me. I took one look into his anxiety-filled eyes and I knew that he knew, and I knew that it was killing him. I was killing him.

And all I could think was,

_Why?_

**(AN: This chapter killed me! Killed me I tell you! So if you dislike this chapter you can tell it to my corpse. But anyways, I won't update for a while again, so you better be happy with this. So there.)**


	13. Morning After

**(AN: Holy schnitzel, guys! I'm gone for the summer, and then I come back… and have a buttload of lovely reviews waiting for me! Thank you all so very much! I hope you aren't too mad at me… I know it took forever to get this chapter done… and to top it off, it's nothing but a lousy, needlessly long filler chappie (but no more flashbacks, I swear). But anyways, I hope you still enjoy the story to some extent, and I hope you don't hate me forever.)**

**Disclaimer: Kishimoto has officially killed Sasuke. Seriously. He is dead. He is no longer the Sasuke we all knew and loved. Devoted fangirls, please avert your eyes…**

**Chapter Thirteen: Morning After**

**(Gaara POV)**

When I awoke the next morning, the sheets beside me were cold and empty. Confusion and panic began to seep through my foggy mind, but then my eyes found the clock. 12:00 pm. Sasuke was definitely up and about by now.

I sighed and sat up, rubbing my eyes blearily, and I looked to the bed next to mine. Kiba was still wiped out, his pillow clutched to his chest as if the world would end if he released his hold. Taking advantage of the moment, I slid out of bed and quickly slipped on a clean pair of boxers from my bag. As I did, I found my reflection in the mirror and winced.

_I'll definitely be needing a collar shirt today, _I thought glumly, gingerly touching the large bruise on my neck that Sasuke's mouth had left behind. _Still, it's only a small price to pay. I wouldn't trade anything for what happened last night…_

I slowly sank back onto the bed and closed my eyes, and I was there again. Sasuke, so warm in my arms, squeezing my hand so tight, his body fitting perfectly into mine as if we were matching puzzle pieces, two gears in a machine. His dark eyes had smoldered with lust and something stronger as they burned into mine; a hot fire had grown in my chest and flared through my body, and I thought I must have been in either heaven or hell because nothing in life was supposed to be this terribly wonderful…

_Crash! _"Shit!"

I shot straight up at the sound of metal clanging and Sasuke swearing. Feeling uneasy, I crept softly over to the bedroom door, cracked it open, and peered outside.

The scene before me made my heart melt. Sasuke was standing in the kitchen (or the "mini-kitchen," to use his phrase), wearing a well-fitting pair of pants but still without a shirt (which, to be honest, didn't bother me in the least). His index finger was jammed into his mouth, and he scowled indignantly at the stove, where something in a pot was cooking.

_He's so cute, _I thought before I could stop myself, and I clapped a hand over my mouth to stifle a soft laugh. Sasuke didn't appear to hear; all of his focus was intent on whatever was sitting on the stove.

Quietly, I slipped out of the room and walked up behind him. Still, he didn't respond. He had to have noticed my presence by now, though; the back of his neck was a bright cherry red. Smiling slightly, I wound my arms around his waist and rested myself against his back. He let out a deep sigh and leaned his head back; one of his hands reached up and ran into my hair, stroking my scalp while holding my head against his neck.

"Gaara," he murmured, his voice almost a moan. I responded with a soft murmur and a light kiss on his neck.

"How are you this morning?" I asked, failing to keep the happy note out of my voice. I sounded like a giddy student. Who would have thought?

"Wonderful, now that you're here," Sasuke replied, and I was glad to hear his tone of voice was similar to mine. He released my hair and turned in my arms; our lips melded together as soon as they touched, and the kiss was so loving, so powerful, so intoxicating that the room around us ceased to exist. That is, until the stuff on the stove gave a nasty sizzle.

"Mmm… what is that on the stove, anyway?" I asked, reluctantly breaking our embrace. Sasuke's cheeks briefly turned a shade of scarlet.

"Oh, nothing," he said, completely losing the air of smoothness formerly surrounding him.

"Don't give me that." I struggled to look around him into the pot, and caught a glimpse of what might have been a noodle. The corners of my mouth twitched.

"Wow, Sasuke, I didn't know you could cook."

The tortured expression he fixed on me told me everything I needed to know.

"Ah…" I quickly shoved him out of the way, grabbed a wooden spoon off the counter, and began my rescue mission. Luckily, the noodles weren't beyond saving. I gave them a few quick stirs, lowered the temperature, and turned around to find Sasuke pulling his bangs over his face.

"I thought I'd told you to stop doing that," I snapped, and I swiped his hair out of his face. He gave me a sheepish look, and my scowl was immediately vanquished. "Your face is much too beautiful to be concealed," I said, kissing his cheek.

"Hmm," he said doubtfully, but he seemed to have abandoned outright arguing with me. I gave him a tight hug, then turned back to the noodles.

"Dare I ask why you attempted this?" I asked with mock caution, opening up the surprisingly well-stocked ingredient cabinet. Sasuke hadn't gone shopping, had he?

Sasuke didn't answer. I felt hands on my hips, and his chin rested on my shoulder. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye; his eyes were closed to slits, only the thinnest sliver of onyx shining through. It was incredibly hard not to be captivated by his face.

"I just wanted to make something for you, but obviously I failed dismally. Is that so bad?" He put his mouth to my ear and stroked the shell with the tip of his tongue. "I just wanted… you know… I mean, seeing as you gave me so much last night…"

He heaved a longing sigh; it was almost like he breathed the blush onto my face.

"By the way, if you were wondering how good you were…" His voice was a low, husky whisper, and I could hear the smirk in his words. My mouth went dry. _Please don't, Sasuke, please don't._

He did. "You completely rocked my world."

I whipped around, fire blazing in my eyes, and I brandished the wooden spoon threateningly. "Uchiha, if you wish me to save these poor noodles, I suggest you stop teasing me. It's very distracting."

"Aw, but you tease me all the time, and you enjoy it." He pulled the spoon out of my grasp and playfully nibbled the hickey on my neck. "Like last night… saying all those _naughty _things to me…"

"What? You told me to do that!" I said indignantly. He smirked wickedly and ran his tongue tenderly over the bite; a sharp electric jolt threatened to stop my heart.

"Sasuke…" I tangled my fingers into his hair and tugged, but I might as well have stroked him for all the response I got. His hands moved up and traced the outline of my spine; he trailed small kisses along my shoulders, down my chest, tickling my stomach with his lips before moving back up again. I shuddered involuntarily as he placed a lingering kiss on the scar on my left shoulder; it was almost like an apology.

"Do you still want me to stop?" he mumbled. My cheeks flared, but I quickly tried to cover it.

"Are you determined to ruin the food beyond recognition?" I said irritably. Sasuke stood up straight and pressed his forehead to mine; he was trying to give me an innocent smile, which really didn't go with him but looked gorgeous nonetheless.

"Not exactly… but to tell you the truth…" He brought his hands up to my face and kissed me. "I just can't seem to keep my hands off you."

I blinked, and silently damned the blush coloring my cheeks. "Who are you and what have you done with Sasuke?" I asked, though I couldn't help but kiss him back. "Since when did you become so… touchy-feely?"

To my surprise, Sasuke's happy expression seemed to slip. His thumb began rubbing slow circles against my skin; his eyes carefully avoided mine. My brows furrowed slightly.

"Is something the matter?" I smoothes his hair back. "Hey what's wrong? Sasuke?"

I touched his hand, and his eyes flicked up back to mine. Sadness plagued their onyx pools, and the emotion seemed to rush out and ensnare my heart. He breathed out deeply and quickly closed his eyes, as if ashamed he'd let his emotions show; he tilted his head and kissed the kanji symbol on my forehead. His lips felt like they were burning as they lingered on my skin.

"Gaara, I… I love you." He wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed the mark again and again. "I love you, I really do. I love you so, so much."

"Sasuke, shh, it's okay." I stood up on my toes and captured his mouth in mine. "I love you, too."

"Truly and honestly?"

"Of course I do. Sas, what's bothering you?"

Sasuke bit into his lip. Nervousness clawed and twisted my insides. I didn't like the way he was acting at all; he was even more insecure than he usually was. Asking me if I loved him, like he doubted that I did…

A minute passed, and I still received no verbal response. I closed my eyes dejectedly and gave him another kiss, longer and sweeter than any of the others.

"You should just tell me. I'll get it out of you sooner or later," I mumbled sternly against his lips, trying to play it off.

"Probably…" Sasuke agreed solemnly. His voice took on a softer edge as he added, "especially if you keep kissing me like that, sweetheart."

I gasped and stumbled; the strength had temporarily drained from my legs. _Sweetheart. He called me… sweetheart. _I looked up, blushing furiously, and my eyes narrowed when I caught sight of his smirk.

"Play nice," I growled, pinching his arm.

"Yeah, Uchiha, you shouldn't use pet names with the Kazekage, you might put him into cardiac arrest."

Sasuke's eyes hardened, and he turned exasperatedly toward the source of the interruption. "What do you want, Inuzuka?"

Kiba's eyebrows rose slightly. I took in his uncharacteristically ragged appearance; the skin under his eyes was dark, and the eyes themselves had a slight red tinge to them. He looked awful, as if he'd been up an entire night crying. Just looking at him doubled the anxiety I felt. His fight with Kankuro… had it been that bad? First Sasuke, now Kiba…

"Oh, I want a lot of things, most of which involve things you children don't want to know about. I just felt like letting you know that the stove is on fire."

Sasuke jumped, disentangled himself from my limbs, and quickly ran to wet a dishtowel. Without him for support I had to stumble back and swiftly grab the edge of the nearest counter. I spotted Kiba staring at me, and I struggled to hold back yet another blush.

"Hey, Gaara? You okay? You're still not worked up about Uchiha calling you 'sweetheart,' are you? Mind you, coming from Ice Princess over there, that must be pretty heavy."

A furious noise came from the direction of the running sink. My fingers twitched; I _really _wished that Kiba would shut up.

"Actually, you look like your soul's been sucked out." Kiba came even closer to carefully examine my face. "You haven't been making out recently, have you? I swear, it always looks like Uchiha's devouring your mouth…"

"Devouring?!" Sasuke finally exploded, throwing the wet towel on the stove fire; the sizzling noise fit perfectly with his expression. "Shut up, mutt, I doubt you could do better!"

Kiba smirked. "Want to find out?" he shot back cheekily; Sasuke's cheeks flared, and a sudden monster awoke roaring in my stomach. I immediately stepped between them and formed a shield.

"That will not be necessary," I hissed, fixing him with a frosty glare.

Kiba wasn't fazed. "Jeez; temperamental, over-reacting, no sense of humor… I can see why Uchiha fell for you."

"Ha ha. You crack me up," I muttered darkly.

"Well, this just might wipe that smile off your face." He held out a folded piece of paper with a broken seal. "Temari sent you a letter. A guy in the hotel staff dropped it off while you were… um… otherwise occupied."

I took it from him and examined the broken seal. "It's been opened."

"Yeah," Kiba said, grinning. "Sorry, dude, but you know me. Eh heh heh… heh…"

His laugh trailed off as the look in my eye turned murderous. I irritably flipped open the letter; I wondered vaguely if Temari was angry with me for never replying to her first note.

That, however, was most unfortunately not the case.

_Gaara,_

_I hope you've enjoyed yourself on your vacation. You better have a damn good reason for not writing me, you and Kankuro both; but never mind that now. The Council is getting angry, Gaara. Supposedly, they hadn't expected your vacation to last this long, and they're spouting a bunch of bullcrap about decisions they can't make without you present._

_I'm not the real Kazekage, I have no control over the Council, so there was nothing I could do about this. The Council has ordered me to inform you that you must set off back to Suna no later than tomorrow evening. That goes for Kankuro, too, but I've sent him a separate letter so he should know by now. If you two are absent for much longer, your position as Kazekage could be in jeopardy._

_Please accept my apologies, little bro. I know you need a break more than anyone, but orders are orders. See you and Kankuro tomorrow night, then._

_-Temari_

I read it again, then read it a third time, but the words refused to change.

This couldn't be. Not tomorrow.

_Tomorrow._

Oh my God.

--

**(Kiba POV)**

The look on Gaara's face as he read Temari's letter was awful; it almost broke my heart. He was reacting pretty much the same way I had when I'd read the letter.

_Tomorrow._

One more day to try and solve things with Kankuro, to try and put all the pieces back together. I'd been so stupid. Fate was giving me my just desserts. After our argument the night before, I'd stormed out thinking I had all the time in the world to fix things. The letter had given me a severe reality check. All the time in the world had been cut down to almost no time at all.

_Tomorrow. _I'd never really been able to relate to Gaara through all the years I'd known him, but I knew right now our hearts were feeling the same pain. Oh, boy.

"So, what does Temari have to say this time?" Sasuke asked, slouching to Gaara's side; he still looked peeved about my slur on his kissing. His kissing didn't look that bad, actually. I certainly wouldn't mind—

_No, no, NO!! Don't you dare go there! Stop it!_

I quickly tore my gaze away from him and focused on the Kazekage instead. He'd jumped at Sasuke's question, and both the letter and the look of horror were whipped out of sight. "Oh, Temari was… um… telling me some of the things she… well, you know… wanted to tell Shikamaru, and… well…"

He blushed softly. I had an urge to give his performance a round of applause, watered down by the fact that I wasn't really sure _why _he was lying in the first place. I mean, maybe he just didn't want Sasuke flipping out at the news, but he would have to find out at some point, right?

Sasuke grimaced, and didn't ask anything more about the note. I shot him a glance and opened my mouth, but Gaara shot me the full power of his evil-eye, which still scared me to some extent. My mouth shut as quickly as it had opened; Gaara was someone even I wouldn't push too far with.

My eyes instinctively fled from him and latched onto another source, which, of course, was the boy next to him. Sasuke. God, Sasuke. He was the cause of all of this. I hated the pleasure I felt whenever I took in his perfect features, like I was now. I hated that he wouldn't leave my head, even though he was unattainable and I didn't want to want him. I hated that I sometimes wished that Kankuro could look more like him, especially when we were having sex.

Kankuro, Sasuke, Kankuro, Sasuke. I didn't know what I felt for them anymore.

Sasuke's eyes snapped up and met with mine; I wanted to bite myself when I got goosebumps. "Anything else you still need, Inuzuka? We're not your servants; you make your own kibble."

I snorted. "Wouldn't want any of your cooking, at any rate," I muttered, giving him the Finger of Authority and retreating into the living room. I flopped myself onto the couch and, checking around for nonexistent witnesses, turned and continued to stare into the kitchen. Now that I was gone, Sasuke's expression had fallen into a depressed slump. Jeez, since when was he so sensitive? I made a mental note of that: _sensitive when skills he lacks are shoved in his face. _Could he be any more prideful?

My observations moved to Gaara. He'd caught sight of Sasuke's angst at once, and immediately pulled him into his arms. I couldn't blink at this point, and my eyes refused to look away. God, they were just _holding each other, _not even kissing. Gaara's head was resting against Sasuke's shoulder and neck, as if the space there was meant for him. Sasuke sighed and softly rubbed his back, like you would with a child you were putting to sleep. I wanted to gag. Who could have guessed that the two most depressing and angst-ridden guys on earth could make such a sappy, lovey-dovey couple?

And yet, I was so incredibly jealous. They were _perfect _together. Why couldn't _I _have something like that? Why couldn't Kankuro and I be made for each other like they were?

A loud knock came from the front door. All three of us jumped, as if snapping out of a daze, and blushed; I quickly turned away before they realized I'd been watching them.

"I'll get it," I offered generously, groaning and forcing myself up off the couch. "You two go cover yourselves. And for God's sake, Gaara, put on a collar shirt."

Behind me, Gaara said something very un-Kazekage-like, and Sasuke quickly retreated into the bedroom with him in tow (probably to keep him from going bonkers on me). I rolled my eyes, smirking slightly, and opened the door.

The smile slid off my face.

"…Kiba?" Kankuro took a slight step back. He might have looked even worse than I did; he had dark bags under his eyes that made him look even more like his younger brother. His bottom lip was bruised and split, as it he'd been biting into it all night. His fingernails were even worse. He hadn't even bothered washing his face; traces of purple still stained a faint line across his cheeks and nose. The worst, though, was the look of pain and sadness that had taken over his eyes; it was hard to recognize the tough, cynical, sadistic man I'd fallen for in the broken shell in front of me.

An uncomfortable silence passed. Then, I licked my thumb and wiped one of the purple smudges off his cheek. In a flash, Kankuro's expression hardened; he grabbed my wrist and tugged my hand away from his face. My arm flopped dejectedly back to my side.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. My lip instinctively curled back.

"Well, you know, seeing as I wasn't welcome in my own room…"

"You act like I forced you out!"

"You were threatening to kill me! I was _not _sleeping in the same room as you with that threat hanging over me."

We shot lasers at each other with our eyes for about a minute. Kankuro took in a shaky breath.

"I didn't…" He bit his lip. "I didn't mean to say that."

I almost fainted; that was the closest Kankuro had ever come to a sincere apology. I sighed wearily, stepped completely out of the doorway and shut the door behind me.

"There. I'm out of the room. Happy?"

Kankuro blinked, and seemed to pull himself together. "No, not exactly. I'm still wondering why you came to _this _room, of all places. What was wrong with Shino's room? Or is _Uchiha _your new best friend?"

The last sentence was said like an accusation, and it struck me right where it hurt. The worst part was that he made total sense; why hadn't I gone to Shino's room? Why Sasuke's? Shit, why Sasuke's?!

There was no retort I could say without digging myself into a deeper hole. So I said one anyway.

"I did it to make you jealous."

_Oh my God, please tell me I didn't just say that out loud._

I had. Kankuro's face contorted, as if my words had pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the gut. "Jealous…?" He said it as if all of his worst fears had just been proven correct. I clapped a hand over my mouth, but it was too late.

"I-I mean…" I laughed weakly and held my hands up. "I mean… you know… I just wanted to show you I supported… you know, Gaara and Uchiha being together… because Gaara's happy, right? And that's really all that matt—"

"Oh, just stop feeding me that bullshit already." His hands lunged forward and grabbed the front of my shirt, and for the first time in my life I was really and truly afraid of Kankuro. God knew he could do me serious harm if he wanted, and God knew that I deserved every bit of harm I could receive. "You don't give a damn about my brother, you never have. It's not _Gaara's _well-being that you're concerned for, is it?"

My mouth was dry; I couldn't have spoken if I wanted to. Kankuro dragged me forward roughly; I couldn't be sure, but I thought he looked close to crying.

"_IS IT?!_"

His words echoed through the hallway and through my head. It was way too hard to breathe. His face was so close to mine; I could see every detail of his dark green eyes. The same green as his sister's eyes. I wanted to kiss him like we'd kissed that day in the forest, so long ago. I wanted to tell him I loved him and that everything was okay and we could be together always.

_I can't. I can't._

"Y-You're right." I licked my lips nervously. "It's yours."

Kankuro's eyes narrowed another fraction of an inch. "Bullshit," he said again, but his hands shook violently and he sounded like he desperately wanted my words to be true.

"It's not bullshit," I said, and suddenly the poisonous words were flowing out of me, saying all the things I knew would hurt him the most. "I wanted those two top be together because I thought… oh, I don't know… you were always so upset when you saw Gaara sad, whenever you heard hi cry… so I thought that if he and Uchiha would get together, and Gaara would be happy, you would be happy too. I should have realized-" my voice became harsh, condemning- "that you would be too self-absorbed, too caught up in YOUR feelings and what YOU wanted and what suits YOU best, to even care that your brother's happier than he's ever been in his entire life!"

As soon as the last word left my mouth, I knew that I had won. Kankuro's hands went limp and fell away from my shirt; he stumbled backwards until he hit the wall. He wouldn't even look at me; I doubted that he could. Slowly, he slid down the wall until he was crouching on the floor. He covered his face with his hands, as if trying to hide from me that I'd killed yet another part of him, and his shoulders began to tremble.

I knew he was blaming himself for something that was all my fault. It wasn't fair. I wasn't being fair. I was a monster. I couldn't look at him anymore; just seeing the broken man that was supposed to be my boyfriend made me want to scream. So I turned away, like the coward I was, and ran back inside the room, slamming the door behind me. Once inside, I pressed my back against said slammed door, trying to keep from choking. Horror and sickness were threatening to engulf me. The room was spinning before my eyes. I knew I needed to go back out there. I needed to take back everything I'd said and tell the truth for once in my worthless life. My trembling hand found the doorknob, but I couldn't open the door. I couldn't expose myself. I couldn't help him, even when he was dying.

I wanted to start crying, just to prove to myself that I was still human.

"Kiba?" A familiar voice hit me through my haze. I struggled to focus on the face in front of me, but the only detail I could pinpoint was bright red hair.

"Kiba, are you okay?" His hand touched my shoulder, and I felt like killing myself. Would he act so concerned and caring if he knew what I'd been doing to his older brother? Would he dare touch me if he knew that half the time I dreamed about fucking Kankuro, but the other half I dreamed of fucking his boyfriend? What would anybody say in the face of that?

"…That was Kankuro at the door, wasn't it?" Damn perceptive Gaara. Still, it probably wasn't too hard to guess. I tried to pull off a careless shrug, but to me it felt more like an awkward lurch.

"It doesn't matter, everything's good. I'm fine, we're all fine." What a bunch of bullshit. Could I even tell the truth anymore?

Gaara's mouth turned down in a doubtful frown. I couldn't stand to see that look on his face. I didn't deserve his pity, or anyone else's. Clenching my fists, I pushed past him and rushed for the restroom.

_Excuse me for a second, Gaara, while I puke up what's left of my insides. Better hope I don't run into your boyfriend, or I might just puke all over him._

Just thinking that brought Sasuke's face blazing into my mind, and my steps became more frantic. I barely had time to lock the restroom door and throw up the lid before vomiting into the toilet.

_Kankuro, Sasuke, Kankuro, Sasuke. One more day to figure out which one I really love. One more day to make everything right. If I do love Kankuro, will he ever be able to forgive me? And… what if I love… what do I do if I'm really in love with Sasuke?_

I groaned and cradled my head in my arms. Something warm and wet was running down my face. I wiped my cheeks with my fingertips and examined the clear, shining liquid. Tears.

Good. At least I was still human.

**(AN: Ugh… too tired to make a good author's note… I just hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks to all reviewers. Bagels are awesome. Flying canaries. Assorted pastries…)**


	14. Things Rather Left Unheard

**AN: Yo! It's been a while again, hasn't it? Sorry for the delay! This chapter was much much longer than I was expecting it to be… -lame excuse- But at least I got it done, right? **

**Crowd: -is silent-**

**Ah well… here's the chapter, you silly people… Oh yeah! Thanks for all the reviews! Actually, there were some questions that I wanted to answer!**

**To gamergirl8901- I swear, you will never see a Kiba x Sasuke scene in this story, so you can relax. (sorry for giving out spoilers, but just the thought of it is full of DO NOT WANT.)**

**To crystalseve- I'm sorry that I couldn't get this story out in time for your birthday –is shot-**

**To crysta oliver- Um… this **_**is **_**actually my first ever fanfiction… unless you want to count the one I wrote a million years ago in sixth grade for the Warriors series… Eh heh heh –thought it was obvious that she was a newbie-**

**Anyways! On to the story!**

**Disclaimer: Kishi may own the series, but Sasuke is the sole property of Gaara.**

**Chapter Fourteen- Things Rather Left Unheard**

**(Sasuke POV)**

My curse mark was burning again.

My hand twitched in my lap, but I resisted the urge to scratch at my neck. As soon as Gaara saw what my fingers were attacking, he would just have more worries stacked onto his already over-loaded shoulders.

Still, the fact that the mark was burning didn't just scare me. I was terrified.

"He's not out there."

I jumped at the sound of Gaara's voice, and I tried not to look guilty as my eyes fixed on him. I'd completely forgotten what had been happening in the world outside my mind.

"Sorry?"

"Kankuro. He's not out there; not anymore, at least." He dropped himself onto the couch beside me and massaged his temples with his thumbs. God, I'd never seen him more stressed than he looked now. It was like in five minutes, he had aged twenty years.

"Hey." I lifted his head up off his hands and placed a small kiss on his lips. "De-stress. The world's not exploding yet."

Gaara cracked a smile, but it seemed forced. "Not yet," he agreed solemnly. He turned to look back into the deep mysteries of the palms of his hands, and his shoulders immediately were stiff again. So much for de-stress.

"Gaara…"

He let out an exasperated noise and threw up his hands. "God, Sasuke, I'm sorry that I'm stressed, but I really can't help it! It's not like I have the power to make everything disappear, you know! Believe me, if I could I would, so just leave me alone!"

His sharp retort only slightly wounded me, but not nearly as much as Gaara seemed to think it had. A look of horror crossed his face, and he quickly wrapped his arms around my neck in a bone-snapping hug.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry, I didn't mean- it just came out, I wasn't thinking and—"

"Jeez, settle down!" I rubbed Gaara's back in what I hoped was a soothing manner, actually trying my hardest not to laugh. I knew the situation itself wasn't funny, but… when Gaara got all worried like this, I couldn't help but think about how cute he really was…

Gaara tightened his grip on me, despite my vertebrae's groans of protest. "Sas—"

"Come on, do you really think I'm so fragile? Now _that _hurts more than any angry words you could throw at me."

Gaara didn't even bother to fake a smile. His fingers gripped the fabric of my shirt; even with the cloth shield in between them, his nails seemed to dig deep into my skin.

"Have you… ever felt completely helpless?" He almost sounded like he was talking to himself, his voice was so soft and tortured. "Like so much is happening and you want to do something to stop it, but you have no idea what to do, or it's impossible to change anything?"

My heart sank; he was probably talking about Kankuro and Kiba. The selfish part of me wished that he didn't care so much about his brother. Seeing as that would never be the case, though, I stuck to hugging him and skimming my lips softly across his ear.

"They'll be fine," I said, trying to sound like I cared about Kankuro as much as he did. "They must have gotten in fights like this before, so I'm sure that they can deal with this."

Gaara looked at me, his brows furrowed. "Huh?"

"Kankuro and Kiba, right?" I cocked an eyebrow. "That_ is_ what you were talking about, right?"

Gaara stared blankly for a second, then nodded. "Yeah. Of course." He sighed and rested his forehead against my shoulder. His hold loosened, and his fingertips brushed against the back of my neck; the contact made my heart skip a few beats. I wondered if curse marks felt different when they got irritated. Could the heat sear into his own skin?

Before my fear had time to get out of control, Gaara's face was suddenly right in front of mine. His eyes were ablaze, like two emeralds caught in the light of a wildfire. My breath was stolen, and part of me was sure that I wouldn't be getting it back any time soon.

His lips tentatively pressed against mine. His arms wrapped around my neck once more, but this time much gentler, and as he covered my lips with soft, sweet kisses I felt my resolve waver. I wanted to be completely honest. I wanted to tell him about the mark, how scared I was, but then… what could he have done? Hold me and worry while I forgot about everything but the warmth of his arms? How selfish could I possibly be?

Gaara paused, and his hand wandered up to stroke my cheek. "…Are _you _okay?" he asked softly. Damn, he always had to ask the questions I was afraid to answer, didn't he?

"Is there anything that tells you otherwise?" I replied, forcing a smirk, and I pulled him back against me. My hands dragged down his body as our kisses grew more passionate, and I made sure to note his every reaction to every place that I touched.

"Mnn… did that feel good?" I murmured against his lips when my touch had reached the small of his back. He gasped and gave the tiniest of nods, and with a groan he slid up onto my lap, his knees locked against either side of my waist. Our breath was steadily escalating into desperate panting; my hands slid down to grasp his ass, then froze.

Out of his back pocket, a folded piece of paper poked the palm of my hand. Temari's letter? The one with all the lovey-dovey things about Shikamaru? Why the hell would Gaara still be hanging onto that? Why…

Gaara slit his eyes open. "Sasuke…?" he mumbled groggily, as if waking up from a daze. I jolted back into reality and made a split-second decision; I slowly broke the kiss, and when my hands came up to touch his face, the letter was up my sleeve.

Gaara's face was alight with a bright blush, and he was still out of breath (so was I, actually), but a small smile was on his lips and I wanted to stab myself over and over until all my blood was forced out of my body. I couldn't believe that I'd made out with him, just to make myself forget about the mark on my neck, or that I'd used the fact that he was distracted to steal one of his possessions. I honestly wanted to die.

How could Gaara smile at me?

_Wham!!_

My nerves almost clawed out of my skin as a resounding crash ripped through the room and effectively massacred our private moment; with a yelp Gaara scrambled out of my lap, looking thoroughly embarrassed, and we both turned toward the bathroom door. I struggled to keep my rage in check.

"Inuzuka." Who else could it be? He was standing in the bathroom doorway, his arms trembling and his expression suggesting that I was torturing him in some way. I really wished that I could.

"Get…" He took in a shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut. "Get out."

A cold silence seeped into the room.

"Excuse me?" I stood up slowly and vaguely felt my hands curl into fists. "I think I heard you wrong, mutt, but it seemed like you just _ordered _me out of _my own room_."

"I did. Get out."

My jaw clenched painfully. I couldn't believe this. Who the hell did that mutt think he was? _He _was staying in _my _room. _He _was invading _my _space. Why was _I _the one that had to leave?!

I grabbed a kunai from my back pocket and pointed it at him threateningly; pure anger almost rendered me blind. "I'm afraid that you've overstayed your welcome."

Kiba looked at me with an infuriatingly skeptical look. "What will you do to me, Uchiha? Stab me? Cut me?"

My fingers tightened around the metal handle. "No. I'll kill you."

He laughed humorlessly at that. He didn't understand that I'd been one-hundred percent serious. Behind me, I practically heard Gaara stiffen.

"Don't try that shit on me." In a second Kiba was there, his fist clenched in the front of my shirt. Our combined anger made the atmosphere around us ripple dangerously. "You, kill me? You already have! Why do it twice, huh?!"

I blinked, confusion interrupting my fury. _What the hell is he--?_

An interruption to my thoughts struck in the form of a hand grabbing the back of my shirt. I looked over my shoulder; Gaara gave the fabric a sharp tug, his eyes fixed intently on the door.

"Sasuke, let's go."

"What?! But—!"

"Please, let's just…" He bit into his lip and began trudging toward the door with me in tow. I gave Kiba the deadliest Death Glare I could muster up before the closed door made a barrier between us.

"What the fuck was that?!" I raged; Gaara had released my shirt and was standing with a hand on his forehead. "Gaara, why didn't we kick him out? We could've done it, easy! And instead we've just shown him that he can push us—"

"So, what? Would you have preferred to fight? Did you _really _want the opportunity to kill him?" Gaara's head shot up, and his eyes locked unwaveringly with mine. "Sas… I hate seeing you like that. I don't want you to fight with Kiba over something so…"

He stopped, and fiddled with the edge of his sleeve. I breathed out deeply and glared down at the floor. Part of me refused to be calmed or quieted by Gaara's words. I didn't get it. Usually, he would have helped me remove Kiba from our presence; I was sure of it. Why was he suddenly so eager to avoid a fight now?

My neck gave a nasty throb, and the burning feeling seemed to spread. Unthinkingly, I hissed in pain and slapped my hand to my neck. Gaara looked at me sharply and started forward.

"Sasuke? What happened?"

_Shit. _I whipped my hand away and held is tightly behind my back. "Oh, nothing. Just a crick in my neck. I'm fine now."

Gaara gave me a quick look-over, then sighed heavily. He stumbled forward and practically collapsed against my chest; I had to grab onto his waist to keep us both from falling.

"Ah… I'm sorry." He nuzzled his head against my shoulder. "I just seem to be… very tired…"

I was tired too. I was tired of everything that was going on. Last night… I wanted to relive last night for the rest of my life. I just wanted to spend the remaining time in the world laying in his arms, without having to worry about Kiba or Kankuro or Sakura or stupid Naruto or anyone else. I wanted to see Gaara smile a real smile, and to be able to smile back from my heart.

"…Hey," I whispered. I pressed my nose to his hair and breathed in his calming scent. "I think I have a good idea."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Seeing as we're stuck out here for who knows how long… let's go out to lunch."

--*--

"Wish I could make food like this," I muttered, poking the rice on my plate with my chopsticks. Gaara looked up at me from across the table, frowning.

"What are you sulking about now?" he said sternly.

"I'm not _sulking_," I argued, sounding pathetically childish. "I was just saying… I wish I could cook."

Gaara rolled his eyes. "So you have one flaw, and you get bent out of shape over it. Not everyone can cook; in fact, most men don't."

"Look who's talking." I stabbed "moodily" at my chicken, but the truth was, I really felt more light-hearted than I had so far that day. Now that we were totally out of Kiba's breathing space, my mark hadn't done so much as twinge, and it was definitely nice to be able to hold Gaara's hand without commentary from the sidelines. So far we hadn't met up with anybody from the group, which was a relief to me. I had no desire to hear any of their opinions on my relationship with Gaara, and that would most likely be the only thing on their minds at the moment.

"Well… whenever I'm feeling self-pity from this moment on, I'll remember that at least I'm more fortunate than poor, untalented Uchiha Sasuke," he said, taking a small sip of tea. I leaned over and punched his shoulder lightly, but I was smiling. He let out a small snicker and gave my hand a soft squeeze, and everything was right in the world.

Of course, once everything in the world is right, someone has to come along and muddle things up again.

Gaara's smile froze on his face, and his eyes fixed on something over my shoulder. "…Do you by any chance have a magnet for bad luck stuck on your body somewhere?" he said in a low voice. I looked over my shoulder, saw Sakura walk in the door, and immediately turned back to my former position.

"…Shit."

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

I slid down as low in my seat as I could possibly go. "God, please tell me she hasn't seen us."

Gaara's mouth twitched down a notch. I risked another peek; her eyes were boring into our table.

Gaara's free hand gripped the edge of the table, as if he was thinking about getting up. "…Should we leave?"

"What?! No!" In a flash I was sitting up straight again, forgetting for the time being that my head was now a perfect target for Sakura's fists. "We're not leaving just because of… of…" I struggled for the right word. "…_her_."

Gaara looked like he would gladly leave just because of _her_. It was like he was trying to avoid any chance of conflict, I thought to myself. It was a little strange, but I decided not to think about it too much; there were things currently higher up on my worry list. Like how to get rid of Sakura, for example.

I watched Gaara uneasily scoop more rice into his mouth. A few pieces were stuck to his cheek. A sudden, risky plan exploded into my mind.

"Gaaara," I said, making my voice loud enough for Sakura to hear. I clambered out of my booth and slid in next to him. He turned toward me, surprised, and I licked the rice off of his face.

Gaara's eyes widened, and his cheeks lit up in a dark blush. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sakura make a horrified face, and she immediately set off to the other side of the restaurant. Score one for the Uchiha.

"Sa-Sasuke—" Gaara shook himself roughly, as if it would shake off his embarrassment. "Ah, um… thank you…" He reached up and absentmindedly touched his cheek. My heart melted into a puddle of heart-like syrup.

"Heh… no problem, love," I said sweetly, giving his red cheek a quick kiss. "Almost literally, actually. Did you notice that Sakura, strangely, is no longer in the picture?"

Gaara's eyes snapped up sharply; his eyes narrowed slightly, and I felt myself start to wilt disappointedly. But then a small smile crept reluctantly onto his face.

"Sometimes, you can be such a bastard," he said, but he said it as if he loved that. I let out a small _"feh"_ and leaned against him comfortably. I adjusted my position so that I was practically halfway on his lap, but if he minded he didn't let it show. In fact, when his hand that had formerly been holding mine strayed down to my thigh, I could have sworn that he pulled me closer.

"Ah…" I trembled as the fuzzy warmth that only Gaara seemed to produce in me shuddered through my body. "This feels good."

"What does?"

"_This_, idiot. Just… relaxing." I slid my finger coyly (I hoped) up the side of his face. "Or is this just completely horrible for you? The worst torture in the world?"

Gaara tapped his chin thoughtfully with a chopstick. I gasped in mock horror and clutched my chest, which got a small chuckle out of him.

"There's no need for dramatics, you know that I'm just kidding. But, in some way…" He leaned in close and lowered his voice. "Just the fact that we're surrounded by all these people, that I can't do anything more than hold you without making a scene… I think, in a sense, that we can refer to _that_ as torture."

My eyes narrowed at his sudden bravery; determined to meet his standards, I put my lips to his ear and spoke in an even softer whisper.

"Then how about this? Sometime, when we're done with this place and feel like going back to our room, we kick Kiba out for good… and we have everything to ourselves again. Does that sound good?" I paused a second for effect. "Just you and me… a soft bed to curl up together in… all the time in the world…"

Something in Gaara's face seemed to somehow flinch, and I felt the first twinges of uneasiness settling in. But then he leaned in farther and kissed my neck lightly, and any doubt in my heart fled away.

"…I would like that. Believe me, I would." He kissed my neck again, and I couldn't hold back the shudder that rushed through my limbs. I reached up to put my arms around his neck…

"Ah, um… Sasuke? Gaara?"

Both of us jolted violently, and our heads almost cracked together as we looked up at the newest intruder. This time, though, the person was a shock; Hinata stood there, fiddling nervously with the zipper on her sweatshirt, the usual light pink tint coloring her cheeks. I couldn't decide if I was relieved because it was Hinata instead of Sakura or Kiba, or relieved because her interruption had halted the dirty images pouring into my mind, and had therefore saved me from a massive hard-on.

"Um… hi?" My wit never ceased to amaze me.

"Oh… hello." She gave what might have been a frantic limp-wristed wave. "Um, um, I knocked on your door, but no one answered… well, obviously, since you two have been, er, here…"

"Kiba was still there, though," I informed her with more than a little resentment. Hinata made a strange face.

"Well, um, actually, that's what I wanted to talk about… can I sit down?"

I had every intention of saying "Sorry, that seat's taken" and kicking my feet up to "save the space", but Gaara spoke up before my mouth could open. "Go ahead," he said politely, and he subtly nudged me out of his lap (only for the time being, I hoped). It could have been me, but his face looked even more tense than when Kiba and I had been fighting over who was Ruler of the Room.

"Thank you." Hinata sat down and stared intently at the table, as if afraid the sight of our faces would render her blind, deaf, and mute. "H-have you two noticed, you know… something weird going on with Kiba?"

Oh, splendid. Even when he wasn't physically present, he stalked us in spirit.

"Not really…" I said, wondering why she thought we cared. "I mean, we know he's fighting with Kankuro, but—"

"No, no, not that, something else!" Hinata flapped her hands in apparent frustration. "More like… like… like he's always… _following_ you two."

Beside me, Gaara was a pillar.

"…Yeah." I crossed my arms and resisted the urge to glare. "I don't see why that worries you, though. At the most, it's really annoying and infuriating, but…"

"No, no, no, not that at all!" she interrupted, and her frantic-ness finally scared me into silence. "Doesn't he seem… are Shino and I the only ones that see that he's fascinated with _you_?"

I blinked, uncomprehending. Her quivering finger was pointing right at me. There was a short silence before my laughter slipped out.

"Haha… you've got to be kidding me. Come on, Hinata. First off, he has a boyfriend, he has for years—"

"But-but didn't you say that they were fighting?"

I faltered dangerously for a second, but quickly picked myself up again. "He told me that it's because of Gaara and I… you know… being together."

Gaara looked at me sharply, and I remembered that I'd never told him exactly why they'd been fighting. Hinata, however, didn't look convinced.

"So… so this entire fight between them… it's all because of you two being together?" she asked. Damn, when she said it like that, it _did_ sound pretty stupid.

"Look… I'm just worried because, um, usually Kiba talks to me about these kind of things, but lately it's like he hasn't talked to me or Shino at all, or like he's even been purposely ignoring us… Can I just ask you one more question?" Hinata shuffled in her seat like she was about as uncomfortable as I was. "Do… do you and Gaara… um… you know… kiss a lot around him?"

Gaara began to fidget with his hands. I swallowed dryly, understandably unwilling to answer. It wasn't that we _purposely_ kissed a lot around him… he just happened to walk in. He somehow always managed to interrupt us…

It was like Hinata stole my answer out of my mind. She sighed shakily. "I-I'm sorry, Sasuke… I just… I just think you really need to know, seeing as you and Kiba seem to be growing close… I—well, Shino and I both think that Kiba… _feels something_ for you."

I was completely still. I wanted to laugh at Hinata and all the stupid things she was spouting, but I was frozen. It was so idiotic, even for Hinata. Kiba couldn't possibly—

"_When did you learn to be so… seductive? You were almost turning __**me**__ on."_

Growing close?! We never even acted like friends! I always treated him like the annoyance he was, and he was always—

"_Why do you want me and Gaara together so badly?"_

"_Oh, that's easy, to make Kankuro happy."_

_Too make you happy, too._

Something started bubbling in my stomach, something I hadn't felt since the last time I'd laid eyes on my older brother.

"_Shut up, mutt, I doubt you could kiss better!" _

"_Heh… want to find out?"_

Betrayed. He'd _betrayed_ me. _He_ was the one who had made me get up the guts to tell Gaara that I loved him. _He _was the one who had re-done our room to coerce us into having sex. How could he? _How could he?!_ He had a _long-time boyfriend, dammit!!_

Kankuro… oh God… he didn't just hate me because I'd left Konoha. He'd figured it out.

I looked to my right. "Gaara, he can't possibly—" But I froze again. Gaara's hands were clenched into fists in his lap; his lips were pressed together in a thin line. He'd figured it out, too.

Everyone knew. Everyone but me.

That… that traitor.

That _traitor._

I stood up slowly; my legs felt like they didn't belong to me at all. "I… I forgot my money back at the hotel." I spoke with a voice that didn't feel like mine. I felt Gaara's gaze glued to me, felt his utmost alarm at my reaction.

"No, Sasuke—stay here—I'll pay, it's not that big of a—"

"No, I really want to pay. I'll be right back." I turned toward the door. Behind me, a stumbling sound alerted me to Gaara's leaving of the table as well.

"Sasuke!!"

I burst through the door and began to increase my speed. Gaara didn't have his sand with him, and he couldn't run nearly as fast as me. If I went as fast as possible, I could reach the hotel room five minutes before he caught up.

Five minutes. More than enough time to kill Kiba.

_I can't believe him. I can't believe he—Even when everyone seemed to be against Gaara and me, he was still there, sticking up for us! I didn't know why, but he was always there! I… somehow, I'd trusted him. I'd trusted that bastard, no matter what I said!! What am I supposed to think now? Why did he really want us together?!_

Then it hit me, almost hard enough to stop me in my tracks. _He did it to get on my good side. He got us together so that I would be grateful to him… then he would push complications in our way, prevent us from having any real alone time… try to eventually break us up… so that I would eventually go running to-to—_

Pure rage blinded me, and my legs moved as fast as they could, fueled by this blaze in my mind. _That fucker! I'll kill him!!_

Not surprisingly, it wasn't long until I'd reached the hotel, and then reached my room. I didn't even hesitate to catch my breath; I knocked sharply on the door and called out Kiba's name. Barely ten seconds passed before the door was open and Kiba was in the doorway. My fingers twitched. _So, he'd gladly open the door for me, but not for Hinata, one of his closest friends, eh?_

Kiba's eyebrows rose slightly. "Uchiha? What do you want? I'm sorry, but I'm not going to leave, not yet—" His words cut off, and the color drained from his face; his eyes were fixed on my hand. I looked down at it, too, then pulled back my sleeve to reveal more of my skin. Black designs squirmed across the surface, slithering down as far as my fingertips. I could feel the mark's searing burn again, this time stretching across my face, across my whole upper body. But this time, I wasn't afraid.

_What perfect timing! _I clenched my fist, and a twisted grin carved itself onto my face. _All the power I could ever want, ever need… this will be so much quicker than I'd imagined!_

My fist swiftly lashed out and connected with his chest. The effect was devastating; he was sent skidding across the floor until he finally crashed into the opposite wall. I looked down at my hand again. It was throbbing with the raw power now surging through my veins. The rational part of me struggled to fight through my anger, tried to tell me to push back the amrk, to fight back my temper, to just talk to Kiba. To try and understand.

_Ha! Understanding! Look at where that naïve blindness got you in the first place! _

Hatred and shame beat down all rationality. I walked inside and closed the door.

_You made me look like a fool. _The lock clicked shut. _Let's see if you still want me when I'm done with you._

--*--

**(Gaara POV)**

When I reached the door, I could feel that I was too late. Clutching my side, I pounded on the door, not expecting an answer, and had my expectations met. I jiggled the doorknob, but no luck. I was too out of breath to call his name.

_Sasuke, please, please don't do it. Whatever you're going to do, please don't!!_

As soon as the though finished, a cry or pain penetrated the door. The voice didn't belong to Sasuke.

"No!" My fist smashed into the wood, failing to do anything useful whatsoever. "Sasuke, Sasuke, please stop!"

The only response was a floor-shaking crash. My eyes began to sting, but I shook my head furiously. _No time for that, idiot. I've got to get in. I can't just stand here, doing nothing! My gourd—it's inside the bedroom, if I can just get some out here—_

Almost immediately, sand came to me from the crack underneath the door. I sent the sand into the lock, pushing around until it opened with a_ click. _Fear seized my heart at what I might see inside, but I burst in anyway, my need to act overpowering everything else.

He was bending over Kiba, pinning him down to the ground with one arm twisted behind his back. In his raised left hand, small blue sparks were beginning to form. The expression on his face was that of a demon, not the boy that I'd fallen utterly head-over-heels for. Black designs covered the entire surface of his skin; his eyes were nothing more than empty craters in his tattooed face.

The curse mark. Earlier, when he'd clapped his hand over the back of his neck—

_Oh, it's nothing… just a crick in my neck…_

The mark was possessing him again, like it had when we had first met. No wonder his temper had been shorter than usual. No wonder he had seemed so upset this morning, when he'd told me over and over again that he loved me…

This… this wasn't really Sasuke at all.

That's all that needed to register in my mind so that I could dive forward and tackle him off of Kiba.

As soon as we were locked together, I'd wished that I had actually thought up a plan instead of relying on instinct. When it came to physical fighting Sasuke far surpassed me, even without the help of the curse mark. Needless to say, the fight was pathetically short before I was in a similar position to the one Kiba had been in, forced flat on my back underneath him. His fingers closed painfully tight around my throat, and he smiled down at me like a snake would grin at its prey. Through those empty eyes, he couldn't even recognize me.

Sand whirled around his wrist, ready to snap it at my command, but I couldn't. I couldn't break my Sasuke. Breaking him wouldn't do anything to save him.

His chidori fired up again, but this time it was directed at me. I could feel the power of it rippling across my skin. It was kind of funny; I was staring at the electricity in his hands, knowing that he was too blind with power to recognize me, knowing that I was possibly seconds from death, but all I could think about was bringing the real Sasuke back from wherever he was hiding in his mind. I wondered vaguely what Kankuro would have said if he had the ability to read my mind.

"What's this?" Sasuke hissed in a voice that didn't sound anything like the voice I knew. "Giving up already? How pathetic."

He hadn't moved in for the kill yet. I still had a chance. Without really thinking, I reached up with a shaking hand, and my fingers entwined with his.

I'd been hit with Sasuke's chidori before, but somehow it was so different to get hit in your shoulder in the middle of battle, and to willingly stick your hand into the attack. It was like shoving my hand down a running garbage disposal. I bit into my lip hard enough to draw blood. I prayed that this way he would recognize me. I would hold onto him for as long as it took to fight back the mark, and if it took completely losing my hand to bring him back, then so be it.

At first, to my dismay, nothing seemed to change. Then, something about his face seemed to freeze. The iron grip around my throat slackened; the chidori fizzled and died, leaving my hand feeling strangely numb. The black marks shrank back into the side of his neck, as did the darkness in his eyes.

"…Gaara?"

I wanted to burst into tears, or throw my arms around him in a melodramatic manner and never let go. Maybe both.

Somewhere in the distance there was a low groan, and I didn't register that it was Kiba until Sasuke was suddenly thrown off of me. Horror filled me as he was sent crashing into the wall and slid limply down to the ground. Kiba stood beside me, his chest heaving and a hand clutching his side. Furious, I pushed myself onto my feet and grabbed the front of his shirt.

"_What the __**hell **__is wrong with you?!!_" I roared. Kiba flinched, looking incredulous.

"I-I just saved your worthless life, in case you weren't aware of the fact that he was, hmm, about to stab you with lightning, was throttling you—"

"_Throttling?!_" My head was beginning to ache. Too much was being thrown at me in one day. Not just me, but Sasuke, too. His mark… it had obviously been bothering him for some time. Why hadn't he told me _anything_?

"yeah, throttling! What else would you call that? It certainly didn't look like a hug to _me, _but then again—"

"Can you- can you just _shut up _for a minute!" I looked down at Kiba's side. Blood seeped through the material of his shirt, dripping from in between his fingers. It was a safe bet to say, judging by the way he was breathing, that he had a few broken ribs, at least. I didn't have enough healing skill to fix any of that.

A horrible retching sound made me turn around sharply, promptly dropping Kiba in the process. Sasuke was bent double, clutching his stomach, and the floor in front of him was spattered with vomit; his face was hidden behind a curtain of black hair. Ignoring Kiba's protests, I hurried over and knelt carefully by his side. I couldn't read his expression behind his bangs. My good hand reached out to brush the hair out of his face, but my fingertips had barely touched his skin when he flinched violently and smacked my hand away.

"N-no." Part of his face was now visible. He stared at me with horror filled eyes, spilling over with fear and tears. I stretched out my hand again, and he began to scramble as far away from me as he could.

"No, no, no! Don't touch me!" His voice seemed to crack despairingly on almost every word. I paused, the sound and sight of him making my heart shatter. I couldn't even imagine the self-loathing he was torturing himself with at that moment. Still, there was no way that I was going to let him run away from me, no matter how much he wanted to. My sand snaked out and wrapped around his waist; as soon as Sasuke realized what was happening, his protests grew until they became actual sobs.

"No, no, no, no, _no!!_"

He struggled wildly the entire time, up until the point that the sand forced him into my arms. I held him as tightly against me as I could as he pushed, hit, clawed, and did everything he could to escape.

"S-stop it! Let go of me! Stop hugging me, stop hugging me!"

I ran my fingers softly through his hair. "… I don't want to."

"I-I don't care! I don't care about what you want! I don't care about you, either!"

I barely managed to hold back a flinch. "I know that's a lie," I murmured. Sasuke's eyes squeezed shut, and his hand struck my shoulder.

"Fuck you, Gaara! Fuck you, fuck Kiba, fuck Kankuro, fuck Naruto, fuck Sakura, fuck _every-single-fucking-person_!!" Each word was accompanied by another smack, until eventually his words became a mass of F-bombs, random strings of gibberish, and broken sobbing. He pressed his forehead against my neck and cried harder than I'd ever seen him cry in my life; his arms wrapped so tight around me, as if he was afraid of falling, afraid of being lost forever. All I could do was cradle him close and hold him away from the insanity and darkness threatening to engulf him.

"I-I—" He brought one of his hands up in a sad attempt to wipe his eyes. "I'm such a… such a f-f-fag, aren't I? He—" His fingers moved to the mark on his neck. "He always said so—"

_He. _That must have been Orochimaru. It was the first time Sasuke had ever spoken about him to me.

"I don't care about what he said," I said, anger making my voice hard. "I don't care what he thought you were, and you shouldn't either. He didn't know anything. I know that you aren't a fag. You-you're _my Sasuke_, and I love you. I'll always, always love you."

He didn't respond with words, but his body was wracked with more sobs. At that moment, the door crashed open again.

"Hey, I heard weird noises and—Whoa! What the hell happened in here?!"

I blinked, and looked over Sasuke's shoulder. Naruto stood in the doorway, his eyes wide as he took in the entire scene before him. His gaze fell on Kiba crumpled on the ground, and his mouth dropped open in shock and wonder.

_Aha! Perfect timing!_

"Naruto!" I snapped, and the blonde jumped to attention. "Take Kiba to Sakura, or someone who can fix him up!"

"Uh… oh! Yessir!" Naruto sprang forward and unceremoniously heaved Kiba up onto his shoulders; Kiba's face contorted as an already broken rib gave another _crack_ that made even me wince. Naruto seemed oblivious; he started to turn away, but looked back at me, his expression unusually serious. "Gaara-sama, what happ--?"

"I'll explain later! Just go get help for Kiba, he's seriously hurt!"

Kiba snorted, his scowl clearly saying, _oh please, don't act like you care. _Naruto nodded and started to go, but once again turned back, this time in shock. "Wait, what about you? What happened to your—"

"Naruto, get out! I'm fine!"

"But—your hand—"

"_GET OUT!!_" I roared, putting as much command into my voice as I possibly could. This time, Naruto sprinted out without comment.

Sasuke and I were left alone, and the room was completely silent. My shirt was soaked through with Sasuke's pain. My eyes closed, instinctively holding back my own waterworks. How could this have suddenly happened to us? Why now? I pressed my cheek to the top of his head; his hair felt so soft against my skin, like a complete contrast to the rest of this situation. It was completely impossible that less than twenty-four hours ago, I was laying Sasuke down onto the bed while whispering those dirty words into his ear…

"Gaara…" Sasuke's voice was thick as he clumsily wiped his eyes. "How… how long are you going to hold me?"

I assumed that he was talking about holding him at that very moment, but to me the question was so much bigger. _How long are you going to hold me?_

I hugged him like a vice, and as my bad hand slid up onto his shoulder, I finally got a glimpse of the damage.

"…Until death itself pries you from my arms," I whispered, stealing the words he'd told me himself not so long ago. I looked away from my hand. I had no regrets.

**AN: Once again… I'm too bored to write a proper author's note. All I can think of saying is that I really should be doing homework right now. So you can make me say whatever you wish in this space here. –elevator music plays-**

**And please, cut me some slack. After the Save Gaara arc (the point of the story where I pretty much gave up on the series), I only know a very vague plotline, and I might have read a few pages here or there. I don't care if Sasuke's mark is still giving him problems in the actual story or not. In this story Sasuke returned to Konoha without killing Orochimaru, so my reasoning goes that alive Oro = active curse mark. If someone tells me off about the whole mark thing, I might kill a waffle. So think about the waffle. Please.**


	15. PLEASE READ THIS CRAP

**Yello guys! Sorry about this, I swear I didn't ever want to post a chapter like this (you know, the kind that aren't really chapters and that just have the stupid authors ranting about God-knows-what), cause I hate these things as much as the next person. I just wanted to let everyone know (that I haven't told already) that there's a slight complication with this fanfiction.**

**You see, I don't like GaaSasu anymore. The interest has been dying for a while now, partly because I hate Naruto, partly because at this point I can't stand either Gaara or Sasuke (especially Sasuke), and mostly because it's sooper-hard to support a pairing when you hate both of the characters in the said pairing. I'm not joking when I say I've tried writing the new chapter at least six times, and each time it's like there's less and less life in it.**

**So the story's on hold. Possibly permanently. **

**Um…**

…

…**Please don't shoot me. I'm really sorry. **


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